As a trans man, Max Simensen says he has unique insights everyone could learn from
As a trans man, Max Simensen says he has unique insights everyone could learn from
An "out-of-body experience" set Max Simensen on a course to changing his life and living authentically. He shares what he has learnt along the way.
Some truly interesting perspectives in this guy's story. I'm pretty conscious of some of this stuff as I raise two boys.
The bathroom and handshake things are real. Some things are more nuanced like the office admin stuff.
The diet one is new and baffling though. There's definitely office banter about food. I haven't ever been aware of it being gender based, though.
People often misinterpret privilege as a sense that the privileged person's life is amazing. To me, it is the absence of certain adversities or obstacles faced by other groups of people.
This is so important, and so poorly understood by many people who aren't heavily involved in intersectional discourse. It's what leads to people claiming there's no such thing as privilege because their own experience as a working class white cishet male hasn't been spectacular. And of course this misunderstanding isn't helped by a deliberate attempt to suppression the correct understanding of what privilege means by the right.
This is going to be a controversial take, but I believe this confusion comes from applying the wrong word to the concept being conveyed. The word "privelege" means to grant an advantage/immunity to an individual above the usual rights/advangates people get. I acknowledge that language evolves and the word privelege can evolve to mean a lack of impediments that some people suffer under. But that sort of evolution usually takes generations.
There's a perspective matter at play as well: If the "baseline" rights and advantages of "usual" are somewhere below what "joe average" white man gets, then Joe isn't average any more. And that's a perspective shift we need the whole population to acknowledge.
Personally, I'm fine with acknowledging that I don't suffer the impediments of race or gender that many people do. I suffered under different impediments though: As a kid I was very small, not really having my teenage growth spurt until after I left school. I was also poor. These impediments, while not related to race or gender were no less real. Growing up, I sure didn't feel priveleged. Does a gay, financially secure black girl feel priveleged? I recognise that today, I am priveleged the way that term is applied in modern discourse. I am also neither short, nor poor any longer. But for all that, I still feel like "joe average".
I can see how telling a white man who is burdened with some sort of impediment that he's "priveleged" because he doesn't suffer under the impediments you suffer is going to be a hard-sell. I believe we'd all be better served with a different word to convey this concept. We already acknowledge that the current term of "privelege" is misinterpreted and misunderstood. I am not smart nor connected enough to come up with a new word and spread it, though.
@Nath
Thanks. I think stories of people who transitioned as an adult offer a very valuable perspective on gender. A lot of differences just exist, are never spoken about let alone examined.(Btw: some of the stuff he describes as 'female' does not ring true to me at all: I don't talk in the bathroom, I'm not particularly scared of dudes in the dark, nobody comments on my food in the office. Country and wealth and ugly/pretty are probably all factors there)
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No it’s a well-studied woman thing.
“… women tend to be underestimated more. They tend to be interrupted, more talked over more. They have to prove their competence more and we often feel uncomfortable when they're in positions of authority.” https://www.forbes.com/sites/michelleking/2021/10/26/the-authority-gap-why-women-are-still-taken-less-seriously-than-men/?sh=3ed8223e634d
That doesn't inherently discredit the idea that going from a child to an adult would not also contribute; people who wouldn't do that to a woman VS a man could still do it to a child, for example
Oh dude I went the other way as an adult. I have a deep voice and I'm tall so I'm pretty obviously trans.
Even so people went from just default listening to me and taking my ideas seriously to just ignoring me half the time. It's most egregious with strangers, if I speak about anything technical people often overrule say my opinion on something physics (An area I'm pretty knowledgable in and relatively good at communicating) for some half remembered anecdote some man told them, previously they'd be like "Oh wow that's interesting, I always thought X" or something far more indicative that they listened.
The part where the women was looking back over her shoulder at him and he turned around to check if someone was following them made me laugh.
This is the best summary I could come up with:
This is a glaring contrast to women's public bathrooms, which can feel like stepping into a feminist support group.
The chatter, the laughter, the occasional tears and waves of support for those crying makes for a heartening sense of camaraderie and solidarity.
It turns out that's how many men shake hands with each other — and I had a steep learning curve ahead to perfect this ritual.
If you have a feminine-sounding voice, it can lead to an onslaught of verbal abuse, harassment and misogyny from players online.
As a woman, you're made constantly aware of how much sound you're making where it seems that men aren't conditioned to be attuned to that at all.
At work I'm no longer asked, or expected, to organise gifts for farewells or birthdays, morning teas or lunches, or plans like booking meeting rooms, sending invites, taking minutes or extra administrative tasks.
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