Well hello mister privileged. Be happy you had such a nice life nothing pushed you towards drugs and please be more sympathetic to people who don't/didn't have/had that luxury.
I went from heroin to methadone, and methadone to nothing. It fucking SUCKS. I hate being around people. I used to be quite the social butterfly. I have hacked away at the people I let into my life down to one friend. I hate people so much that it’s hard to put up with my partner and kids. Loud noises make me irrationally angry. I don’t leave the house unless I HAVE to. Since I got sober I have dreams where I talk to my friends that died from overdoses.
I had a dream where a woman I knew that died of an overdose came to visit me. She sat on the sofa next to me and put her head on my shoulder. When I woke up I could still feel her hair on my face.
I hate being sober. I wish that weed didn’t make me anxious. I wish alcohol didn’t make me feel like shit. I didn’t like uppers before I got sober. Opiates aren’t even an option.
But you know what? As much as being sober fucking sucks, and it does suck make no mistake about it. I won’t die a slave. I am free. I am finally free, and I’m not giving my freedom away again for anyone or anything. I’ve been heroin free for about 5 years. I’m almost 2 years completely sober.
Hey, quitting cigarettes is no small feat. There are enough things holding us back in life without adding to it. Quitting cigarettes is one choice I guarantee you won’t regret.
Also, don’t sell yourself short. You say “little league clean”, but the process is the same. Be proud of your wins. There will be enough problems in life. Take those wins where you can.
To anyone going through this, it gets better. The first year is really tough, and maybe longer, but eventually you'll learn how to feel relaxed without it if you can stay off it long enough.
You have to fill the gap with something else enjoyable/stimulating.
Also, often people find they enjoy some of the activities they would be doing all along without the drugs,
ie. Hanging out with friends, lying have passed out on a couch watching TV / playing video games / staring at the ceiling listening to music, sex, bumming cigarettes, hustling for money, going to dangerous places / doing dangerous things, committing small time crimes, alienating family, ect…
You can enjoy all these things while sober… no need to be boring ;-)
Joking aside, getting sober sucks, but being sober is amazing.
It took me multiple tries and a lot of misery but I have over 6 years clean now and my life is immensely fulfilling and better than I thought it could be.
Anyone with a heroin/opiate addiction should check out the new injection Suboxone they have. Essentially a cure once you're ready to make the switch for good! And I was able to get off the shot with essentially no withdrawal at all - unlike the strips. Just saying, it saved my life!
Well .. yeah. It can be reality in a lot of cases.
I am not knocking you or anything, and I don't like getting serious in a meme community, but anyone that has worked through an addiction knows what is going on here. My life was absolute hell for at least 6 months or so after I quit drinking. It took a year after that to just get my ass back in gear. (I don't count days, so I really don't know how long I haven't been drinking, TBH.)
So yeah. It's shitty. However, it's a dark truth with some dark humor. I get it.
Edit: I just remembered the reason why I don't count sobriety days: It keeps me firmly planted in the here and now. For me, all I can do is not drink today and that is all that really matters. Many people may disagree with my methodology, but it's my own way to cope and it has been working so far.
Yeah, cut meth coke and crack in one fell swoop. I'd say 3 weeks of pure agony, and 7 months of picking up the pieces of my life, another 3 years gluing them all together again.
It has been 3 years mostly sober for me. I say mostly because I slip up about twice a year because of how fucking bad it gets between addiction and depression. The six month mark is about when it gets nearly unbearable for me and this damn disease won't let me stop thinking about it.
A whole comment tree has been deleted. I got the message that someone replied, even see who and what in that message. But everything is deleted here. It is not there anymore.