I made the mistake of visiting the transfem fashion subreddit, and saw page after page super cute girls in pretty dresses, with flat tummies, and perfect makeup, and no awful body hair like mine. So Iβm kinda struggling today.
Ugh. Been there, had to unsub from transtimelines and other subreddits (before I stopped using reddit) for this exact reason. I hope the rest of your day is much better :(
Damn mirror is faulty, still shows a beard every morning. Gotta put a complaint in, this is not the replacement I ordered.
That being said though, I'm feeling pretty good. I came out to most of my family and close friends, and so far they've all been supportive, which is the absolute best thing I've ever ended a year on.
Nonetheless, this next year is pretty daunting already, with all I want to do with it. But that's a problem for tomorrow :D
Well I just got some new nail polish and painted my nails with trans pride colors and that was fun. I also tried some ghost pepper hot sauce today and that was less fun.
I was hosptitalized for severe suicidal thoughts late December due to my ex partner making me relive some childhood trauma. Now they rejected me again for new years celebration. At least with the year starting at its absolut worst, it can only get better right?
It's one of those things where it's good to really face it and to make a clear decision because it makes life easier if you know. It's said that the decision to live or die is the most fundamental philosophical question.
And ya it's definitely gonna get better! It's just a temporary thing and it doesn't define you.
Yeah, I working things out, my perspective on whats to come is pretty amazing compared to what shitshow I'm currently in, coming out to myself really helped and gave me my will to live back. It's been really rough but I really think that I hit rock bottom already and I'm alredy getting out of my pit.
So let me add that I'm chilling in bed and had to sacrifice a party for my rest, after finally having moved. Due to my situation I was forced to live in my office for a couple of months. Someone saved me and now I've taken over her apartment. Had to plan and execute the move within a week, and during vacation time. But everyone wanted to help, and so it was the easiest move I ever did. Now I'm enjoying laying in my new bed and dreaming again.
It's going ok. I keep talking myself into stalling next steps in my transition, specifically surgeries. Since I'm looking for another job, why bother even getting the process started right? Except I've been looking for another job in my field for the last year lol.
Otherwise ok. I'm excited to someday hopefully get eh surgeries I want to make me feel complete.
It's going well! I am gonna do a fun new years party with all my friends I'm out with, and I'm super excited. Feeling pretty good about where life is right now, and I have a good feeling about my continuing transition over the year to come. Hope your New Year's is great, as well!
Its been good but its been better. Im trying to reach a stable point with my home environment, and I'm getting really close. I probably have the same goals as many others in this thread and I dotn even wanna talk about it lest I jinx it, which I guess is what happened last year around this same date, I don't really know.
Itβs been an absolutely insane year & I keep having to remind myself of thatβ¦
At the end of 2022, I left my job managing an LGBTQ Center, had surgery, & started a new job. Went into 2023 with a ton of anxiety and uncertainty & just found myself angry at everything all the time.
Angry about the anti trans legislation everywhere. Angry that none of my neighbors cared. Angry that the oneβs who did care, had the gaul to expect me to listen to them, rather than just letting me vent.
Angry at all the assholes, & especially angry that I was being one.
Angry that Iβd left a job where I couldβve still had an impact.
I carried that anger until September.
In September I asked my doctor to start me on anti anxiety meds & holy crap. It was kind of like getting something back I didnβt know Iβd lost.
I donβt really know how better to explain it. Iβm sitting here typing this up, & the angerβs still there. The awful parts of this year are still there, but Iβm able to focus on the better parts. The angerβs not driving.
Given that, hereβs some of the cool shit I did this year.
Iβm currently working in media management now & exploring professional photography opportunities as a side gig, which is humbling to say the least.
I met a young woman from Afghanistan who now calls me sister. Her father died during the evacuation of Kabul & she ended up in our city alone. Over the last year, weβve helped her get her English proficiency cert, GED, & drivers license. Sheβs now enrolled in college. Subsequently, I now have a tattoo in Dari.
Spent Thanksgiving in Florida with 2 cousins, an uncle & an aunt Iβd never met before. Somehow, I survived & think I might actually be better off for itβ¦
Just a wild ass year & ultimately, Iβm glad Iβm able to see the good for the bad when itβs all said and done.