What's a useful mental model you've put into practice
What's a useful mental model you've put into practice
Inversion Thinking
Instead of thinking about positive outcomes (assuming everything will turn out right), turn the process on its head by thinking what could go wrong and cause you to fail so you know what and who to avoid to maximize your chance of success or at least not being surprised so you're able to make contingency plans ahead of time to compensate
You need to also do the more conventional process of thinking so you actually have an affirmative plan but it helps to know where all the mines are buried (like Minesweeper)
I'll let you, OP borrow my brain anyday if you'd like to experience what it's like to live always expecting things to go wrong.
TIL neurotypicals literally just go about their day and work life just assuming everything will go right
Yeah, it's so alien to me. I'm envious, though, must feel nice.
We really don't
I'm nothing if not
non-neurotypicalneurodivergent haha.That is not what I have observed. I do kinda wonder sometimes however
Me: right so we said we would be there by 630. If we leave within the next five minutes we should be there at 6:25
Wife: it's fine
Me: just you know we could leave now and no one has to have any anxiety about being late.
Wife: they aren't going to care
Me: true they won't really care that much but we did say 6:30. Wouldn't it be nice to not be worried? Like what if we make a wrong turn and have to double back? We would still be on time if we left now.
TIL neurodivergents think neurotypicals are neuroperfect. You're an idiot.
Right??? Like wtf I thought everyone just thought about how everything could go wrong all the time. You mean people do things and expect to succeed instead of expect to fail??? This is legitimately wild to me.
i don't expect things anymore, it goes how it goes. if it doesn't go how it's supposed to go, i'll see if i can fix it.
I wish I could do that. Currently I'm trying to start a bussines, but my mind just keeps coming up with the most unlikely terrible scenarios that might happen and convincing me to never try anything new so that I can't fuck it up.
My whole life is inversion thinking and I’m depressed 🙃
Right? Inversion thinking just sounds like a fancy way of saying anxiety.
Yeah I don’t have to consciously do it. I have to consciously think of the positives.
That's exactly what it is. Most people are hard wired to do this automatically.
The definition given is almost word for word the definition of an engineering mindset, regardless of field.
I'd say it's not a bad way to think about your life as well, as long as you limit the scope to things you realistically have the ability to impact and focus most of your energy on the actual problem solving.
Maybe inverse thinking for you could be tempering all that with what might go right and leveraging that as a way to honor both the negative and positive capabillities of your mind.
You're telling me you couldn't literally just reverse whatever your pessimistic insights were as a thought experiment and find a way to take both into consideration to inform your final approch or strategy for whatever is at issue?
The best way I've come across to illustrate this is
- Hope/ideate for the best but plan or mitigate the worst
- How could this go wrong; tell me where I'm going to die so I can avoid thar
Inversion thinking also works the other way around. If you see negatives most of the time (which is a strong suit by itself, but the pitfall is that you don't dare to take any risk), it can help to sometimes consciously think "What if it goes right?"
So invert it ;)
Seriously, its a good thing you can access that side of the thought process, you may just need to consciously do the opposite as a daily practice to even things out. I habitually assume the worst and I enjoy being proven wrong because it means it worked out well but I might not always get so lucky so im glad the other part's got me covered
-1 * -1 == 1
Don't fuck your future self.
Putting something away? Better make sure it's not just the most convenient spot for you right now but somewhere future you can find it. Should I finish this family sized bag of chips? I'm really not hungry anymore and will want some another day this week. Save some for future you.
Just little things to help yourself along and think a few steps ahead.
**YESS!!**Particularly important for us AD(H)D folks, its mean to future you to be a lazy jerk all the time
For sure, helps promote mindfulness of decisions without being anxiety inducing planning.
We create narratives bout everything we experience. If I am upset and getting worked up, why am I telling myself a story that makes me upset? When you realize your feelings are based on the story you're telling yourself, it's easier to create a different narrative, or at least separate your feelings from reality.
Like that Buddhist teaching of there being two pains: the actual pain of an arrow striking you, and the pain that arises by your reactions to the arrow. You can't control the first pain, but you have some control over the second.
You mean the terror I get from not knowing what is going to happen so I over plan and over estimate everything I'll need is healthy? TIL
When something bad happens to me, something that might make me angry or irritated, I say out loud or to myself in faux anger "This is the worst thing thats ever happened to anybody!"
Helps me to put in perspective the trivialities on my own misfortune, to laugh, and to move on, rather than brooding.
When Im having an acute bad time, mentally, normally due to nebulous worries about things or panic-thinking trapped without action or decision, the grounding exercise helps me. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.
Writing in a diary has helped me immensely. People been telling me all my life to do it, but I always found it hard, until I found a tiny pocet book and .05mm pigment pen that I could write really small with. Small writing is my own encryption against other people seen what I wrote, its damn near impossible for me to read it back without a magnifying glass, and the small pocketbook can be carried around anywhere.
Think of three things for which you are grateful every day. I've been trying to get back into this mode after I'd used it for years and fell off. Example:
- Got to have a nice dinner party with friends on NYE
- Kitty has become a lot less anxious around strangers
- Though it'll rain later today, it won't be raining when I go to work
Do they need to be unique/new or can you recycle?
Can recycle (glad I don't have to go out in the rain is true any time it's gonna rain), but I try to keep them unique. I also try not to focus on things related to commercialism. For example, I might be glad I got to go to a live show (an event) but I don't list something like being happy about being able to buy a thing (especially luxury goods). But I can be happy that I have a thing that makes my life easier in a concrete way (that new toothbrush really kicks ass). I go for small things most of all, the ones that otherwise might be taken for granted. Hope that makes sense the way I wrote it.
Everything is relative. It's some kind of joke I forgot some names, but it is basically Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Julius Caesar and Einstein in heaven talking. Caesar argues that everything is war. Jesus that everything is love. Gandhi that everything is peace. And Einstein finally says that everything is relative.
It's good to always keep in mind that everything is relative, that it depends on the point of view of the observer. Some things can be viewed differently depending on the point of view.
Another one is from kotor 2 : apathy is death.
Reoccurring nightmares are not you. They are someone else, like you, but a different you, in a different universe/timeline (think Jet Li in The One).
For some reason, our brains sometimes connect with these others while we sleep. Maybe it has something to do with a perfect alignment of brain waves or something, but this is also why time is often so screwy in dreams, or the facts of the dream change. You are like an old analog radio tuning in a faraway station while driving through the mountains. Sometimes the signal is strong, sometimes it is barely there, and sometimes you cross over a hill and suddenly you are listening to something completely different.
The next time you wake from a particular nightmare, stop and think about what you can do to help your other self. Make sure you take the physics of their reality into account... they are somehow falling to their deaths because they jumped too high? Then they must have the strength or low gravity needed to make that happen. So maybe it is only scary because you are applying your physics, but in their world they just need to brace for landing, or prepare to tuck and roll.... Did they get attacked by a nightmare creature? Well you just need to make sure that when you reconnect with them the next time, you reconnect earlier in the timeline, and firmly hold the idea they need to show up ready to fuck that creature up. Don't know how to fuck up a 30ft, fire breathing, strap on dildo wearing, pigeon? You don't need to. They live in that reality, I'm sure they know how to deal with it, they just need to know to be prepared. And even if they don't know, one of the other yous will. It's a pest that other other you deals with daily on the way to work. You just need to connect with one of them first, get the information, and then reconnect with the other you... odds are that the solution is a fire extinguisher, an even bigger strap on, and a bag of bird seed, and boom, you've turned their hell into a way to shorten their daily commute by a factor of ten (once they get a saddle for it of course, safety first).
Once you have your plan, you go back in with the intent to purposely reconnect to the nightmare and give the other you the tools they need fix their situation. And don't forget, time is not linear between universes. Your nightmare is reoccurring because you repeatedly keep reconnecting to this particular moment. So that also means, that with a little effort, you should be able to connect earlier in the timeline too.
Remember, it's not you, but you can help. You have all the time in the world to think it through and formulate a plan. And you can keep trying until you get it right.
Is this referring to lucid dreaming or are you more suggesting some kind of mental rehearsal to prime yourself to hopefully reflexively respond next time you're in a similar dream-predicament?
Not exactly, this is about changing your entire perspective on how you view dreams, how you respond to them, and how you feel about what happens to the characters within them.
You are not a helpless victim of your dreams. You are an unintentional 3rd party witness, much like watching someone else play a video game. You may be experiencing the same visuals and sounds as the user, but you are not actually at the controls. You don't have to feel guilty or helpless, it's not your game. But much like watching someone else play, you can make suggestions, or possibly even take the controls for a moment. You have time to look up tips and watch other play-throughs.
Also, you don't have to fear going back to sleep, especially if it is a recurring dream. In fact, you can be excited to have the dream again, because this time you have a plan.