How will I find financial stability if I live in a third world country with a toxic sociopathic/narcissistic mother, I have no skills (at least I think so), no time and therefore no money?
How will I find financial stability if I live in a third world country with a toxic sociopathic/narcissistic mother, I have no skills (at least I think so), no time and therefore no money?
I would like to add a description (details), but it would be a very long text.
In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD (btw, I could treat it with Adderall/Adderall XL, but there all drugs are banned, even for medical purposes), no money to rent on my own, poor physical and mental health, some basic things I don't have money for, I don't have a computer and it seems that my laptop will soon broken...
I can’t go to a psychologist because... the quality of education and medicine in this country is terrible, and it’s dangerous to say "everything" here, my mother recently worked, but now she’s left without work and starts doing some kind of crap, she was the one who brought in the income until this time; she feeds me fast food. In this country everyone doesn't give a sh*t about each other, I am surrounded by “broken” people, this is a country full of cynics, sociopaths, and narcissists (consider mentally ill... and genetically defective, apparently).
Like this... I am spoiled, my life and my future are spoiled.
...the army of my moronic country has killed thousands of peaceful Ukrainian civilians, foreign media have been writing for a whole year that this country wants to start a war with NATO in 2025.
I'm really sorry, I don't know what to do... I constantly live in stress, anxiety, with a feeling of hopelessness, depression, I'm procrastinate a lot...
Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country. My mother does not consider me to be a person, as, in principle, most ruSSians (these mad dogs) treat each other.
Your English language is excellent, is that something you can use to your benefit? Think teaching, translation, document services
... yikes. That must be hell.
You speak fluent English, any markets for that kind of skill in that area? Could teach maybe?
Unfortunately, the time-honored tradition for people in your situation is to keep your head down, keep quiet and be careful. I imagine you probably already knew that though.
Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country.
They do, it's just that like you they've learnt to be careful about what they say, and to be selfish because they need to survive.
Or they once cared, but life ground them down, so they sought escape in alcohol or whatever. Obviously, this is by design. If people were open about being unhappy about their country, this would threaten the government. Not that this helps, but maybe it'll help you feel less alone.
I can't help you with work, but reading, tv, gaming and podcasts can be a great help when you don't have access to mental health services.
Fiction allows you an escape from your daily reality. English language fiction allows you to learn the language Non-fiction allow you to work on your issues. Not as good as therapy, but better than nothing. If concentrating on long texts is a problem, try listening to audiobooks.
Eg. a good book about PTSD is The Body Keeps the Score.
Oh, and obviously get a VPN and pirate everything, even if it's for your own safety.
Russia is ranked third highest level of suicide in the world for a good reason. If you need help. PM me.
I just looked, Russia is in 11th place in terms of the number of suicides (Wikipedia), no?
Your country is known for under reporting to the severity of the suicide crisis your generation is having from your equivalent of your baby-boomers and oligarchs grifting from your countries corrupt social programs. If you need someone to talk to, I have your back though.
I've read the post and guessed the country right. Hello, fellow inmate. Sorry you share this faith.
Coding is a good investment in the future, you can read most sources on it too, so you are set. But that takes a lot of resilence to keep on going. I have many troubles with that, and I'm not well in the head too.
There are many little factories and businesses around that hire with a little to no experience and pay you hard cash. I'd consider that in order to fall from the radar. No medical bonuses but like they are worth it. It would occupy you and bring you a starting budget.
After getting some trust in yourself, you can try asking around other places. Shops are good too and they are constantly hiring. People also work in apps, but I've not heard anyone getting it big on them.
Freelance is another way, but you need skills. Writing works for others, doing arts on demand, checking items on e-shops, whatever. These pay peanuts, but generally easy to start if your hands know the tools.
If anything, get some way to distract youself would worth it too. People (the cooler ones), media, charities, hobbies. They are what keeps me going in spite of anxiety.
Also, some psychotherapists seem to work and be open, but you need locals who used them tell which ones since that's a total hit-and-miss. Investigating VK groups can be a start. Expect it to be a private and paid one though. And more chances in big cities, obviously.
Переживи деда, друг.
This is probably the best advice here. I'm rooting for you guys. Stay safe and do what you got to do.
VK is another FSB's social media lol
Yes, and Telegram too. But there you can probably find a more relaxed market for local rent and psychologists with proofs. Avito, others, are filled with real businesses pretending to be individuals, and is sure to share information to services too. I don't think you can get any such service without either leaking a bit of your data or knowing the server personally through a couple of handshakes.
Sorry to hear.
Getting a valuable skill would probably be the best way to improve your life
Is it possible to learn a skill in 1 year and get a job online?
It really depends on what you're aiming for and what your situation is. You know that more than anyone.
My best advice is to try and learn something you're genuinely interested in and something the market wants. Web development for example is usually a safe bet. Try to find communities whether local or online where people share the same goal, and surround yourself with people that can help you if you get stuck or give you good advice.
Ignore your local education if it's not helping you. There's all sorts of materials and free courses online for everything. Even if it's something as simple as cooking, that can be a good goal.
Most importantly, have patience. Learning something new will take time and effort. Finding a job too might take time, but you can do it. Many people have. I'm also in a poor third world country but managed to get a remote job after finishing college.
In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD
If these problems are all in the brain/nerves/psycho area, then maybe you can try manual work, like building construction, or plumbing, or roofing etc... these professions are needed everywhere, usually with an average income = better than poverty.
Just go somewhere and ask openly for a job.
The entire "business" (there is no business, capitalism or economy in RU) is under the control of the FSB mafia, accordingly, EVEN if there are jobs in my city (I do not live in a large city, but with a population of ~500k people), then they are all busy, because whoever is left in this garbage dump, now everyone is working, that is, the “density” of the RuSSian labor “market” is somewhere around 99.9%, other job offers are fraud.
If we talk about physical labor, you will have to work a lot and you will earn very little. However, you will receive your salary in rubles, and their value is falling and falling every day.
Now the RuSSian Central Bank, as usual, is “artificially” holding the ruble (this bullshit has happened more than once), but you can’t fool the economy, and everything will go even worse in a couple of months.
Unfortunately, I think your best move would be to flee the country by any means necessary. Do you have any relatives or friends who live abroad? Even if you are sleeping on a air mattress on someone's living room floor, it would be an improvement. I do not think the conditions in your home country will improve anytime soon.
Skills are just a development of a thing you practice. Get good at something you have some love for. Things like programming, mathematics, interpretation are very valuable things to be competent with, and can develop into many useful skills. But anything can be useful, if you practice it enough. Some things, usually art-centric skills tend to be a lot more difficult to use to earn money in my experience.
But take this advice from a former slacker: apply yourself to something and you'll be rewarded.
I was about to suggest programmation but I reread and found out about the "no-computer" situation...
Sadly, many many people, even in first world countries, struggle to attain financial stability their entire lives, and unfortunately most never do. But do not give up hope.
Do you have any friends or family in another country that can help you and your mother figure out how to legally leave your country to move to another as soon and affordably as possible? It may be an awkward phone call or letter or any way to communicate, but it is important to take this into real consideration. Sometimes a big change is necessary to make your opportunities in life more favorable to you.
How willing are you to work? If you think "there are jobs that I simply cannot do," why do you think you cannot do them? Is it a legal or physical limitation, or is it because "I don't want to?" Take any jobs you can, even if its not the job you want. Work hard and work often. You will probably have to take multiple jobs. See if you can help your mother to find work also.
Find a hobby you like. Not all hobbies cost money, some are as simple as star gazing. Whatever it is that you find interesting or enjoyable, try to do that in your spare time often. Hobbies can help you relax and take your mind off of daily worries. They can help improve your mental health, at least until you can afford a medical professional.
I won't sugarcoat it, you have a tough road ahead of you. But put in the hard work and its possible you can change your situation. If you never believe you can change it and you never try, then you never will. But if you believe you can, and you try very hard, then maybe you can. A man can only get to his destination if he walks there, right? He won't be going anywhere if he never moves.
In your situation I would probably try to learn programming.
- You can start at home, little entry barrier
- resources are found online
- good programmers have huge income potential including internationally
- are and will be in demand for the foreseeable future (with AI on the horizon maybe not as they are used now, but truly savvy people will be needed 100%)
- if you manage to write something useful on your own you can possibly license it out and generate income that way
Missed the part where he doesn't have a computer?
He has one that might break soon ish, but getting a cheap basic computer together is really somewhat affordable, and I would say the best feasible option for someone in that position:
Physical labor is out of the question, getting employed for something else requires prior qualification that he doesn’t have. The mental health issue will make it additionally difficult to be perceived as reliable.
So the best course of action is to either up his qualifications or go in business for himself, both would be (more) feasible this way.
People have already offered you some good advice and I just want to send hugs and love from a fellow Mordorian.
I think before you start something, you may want to balance your mental state first. Not improving but balancing it would be a good start. I know that would be hard without proper medication and care, but still.
What worked for me was having several days or even weeks off Internet, social media, and being as far away from other people as possible. To avoid drama (you might know what I'm talking about), I would invent some reason to stay alone that wouldn't raise suspicions in them like having to study or help a friend with some project. Then I would try to focus entirely on my body not thoughts, maybe take a walk or listen to fav bands in a way when you let music replace your thoughts so that it becomes your thoughts.
Actually, this resembles all that meditation shit, and sometimes it helps. Your goal is a detached attitude that you can use to make plans without having to consider any unnecessary feelings.
Once again, you're not alone, I love you, and more people around are open to love than you think.
I recently read the advice of using social media/reading the news every day for a maximum of 30 minutes and it helped me. Not only did I, let’s say, calm down a little, but I also stopped wasting time all day long.
- learn punctuation.
Sincerely go fuck yourself.