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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

ickplant @lemmy.world

2y ago

Never more nervous

37 comments

So true 😞...
And then she comes back and says "yeah, we're out" and you're like "yessssss, see that b*tch, I knew it!".
- Did you really say bitch though?
  
  I looked her in the windows of her soul and I said biiiiiiisssshhhhhh
  
  I did I said... shoulder check.... biiitch
  
  I said I said... biiiiiitch
  
  Of course not, lol, that whole paragraph is silently going on in my head 😂.
  To be perfectly honest, my wife scares the shit out of me, she's like 300 lbs, you don't want to mess with that 😂.
- For me it's a 50/50 chance that either it was right in front of my face exactly where I was looking, or we're actually out of it. No in between
  
  Exactly the same.
- You said that? You said "bitch"?
  
  No, just thought of it loudly in my head 😂.
- If you call your wife a bitch, you’re doing it wrong
  
  "And I said, biiiiiitch ..."
  
  That whole part is silent, of course 😁. Dare say that in front of her and you better run 😂.

I realized that when I look for something, I have a precise mental image of what I'm looking for. If the real object doesn't match my mental image, it may as well not exist.
Case in point, my girlfriend asked me to get her allergy meds. I was looking for a box with blister packs, they were in a bottle. I literally moved the bottle aside while looking, before telling her that I can't find them

I just go straight to the step where I ask her and she gets frustrated because it’s right in front of my stupid face

Like many people, I suffer from Refrigerator Blindness. My wife, however, does not. I learned to never assume we are out of something. I always assume I just can't see it.
- As a married man, I just prefer to eat out and have hidden stores in high places of the house.

"Did you move things?!"

This is even more fun in a professional kitchen.
“Bro, we had three people look and be unable to find it, add it to the 86 list.”
“I just saw some in the walk in” Goes to look

Tell her to make you a sandwich while she's checking, if she asks why tell her it'll calm her down and stop her from getting emotional.

"It's right here!"
- https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/rickandmorty/images/4/49/Scaryterry2.png

don't insist
- Ultimate survival tip is here 👆🏻

This is me

Me irl

MAH WAIF

My problem is, I'm often convinced we are NOT out of something when we are. Can be more painful when cooking.

37 comments