Ok, here's what's you're gonna do. You're gonna reach into your left pocket. There you will see the bottle of Ivermectin we left you. Now, you unscrew that bottle, but you won't ingest it yourself. You see, ants cannot buy effective treatments to this new virus yet, so if you offer them that, they are gonna leave you alone. Then, once you have the energy to move again, you go and buy another bottle. Understand?
What's up AC Family! Oh boy do I have a surprise for you guys today- our Fire Ant colony had somehow broken out and managed to bring home an entire human!
that's pretty impressive, I'd at least let it ride until they've fully got you into their lair, just out of sheer logistical curiosity, at that point you'll at least have conserved your energy to decide