My last actual relationship was ten years ago; my daughter’s mother. She messed with me so much that for several years it soured the taste of being close with another human. Now, ive been alone long enough that i think I’ve forgotten what its like to be in a relationship. Not the feeling of fondness but like how to socialize with someone. How to coexist, or cohabitate with another human that isn’t one of my offspring. Its been long enough now that i have turned down a couple dates because im afraid of being an asshole and not even realizing it. Its probably mostly my own fault at this point. So i do like the average male does, and buries it deep, never talks about it and just grows ever awkward, ever distant from his peers.
My ex made me very skeptical of relationships because I'm an extremely romantic fucker and she hurt me a lot. I still can't believe I cried after her for months on end. Because I did truly love her.
I had 2 very nice dreams over the last nights that made me wish I could either go back 6 years or be dreaming all the time. I wish COVID would just not exist... this does suck.
Yeah, same. And something I've noticed is in my dreams it feels like I can recall people's faces perfectly, but once I wake up they're just vague memories. Just a way that the brain tortures itself.
See it this way: "Love" is commodified through apps like Tinder. The "ghosting" is a systemic problem asociated to the "neoliberalization" (if you will) of social relationships. In other words, an structural problem and not an individual one.
Dating apps just want to maximize engage and sell you the premium model. A "pay to win" love game. And if you find someone in there, that would mean you are going to stop using their app. They don't want that.
I don't know where you live or your material reality, but social activities are far healthier for meeting new people (from friends to, maybe, SO). Acting classes, book clubs, political activities, political orgs, etc.
Sorry for my intromission. Have a nice day and I send you a virtual hug, comrade.
Oh I'm well aware of all this shit. After a year or so of being on these apps, I've learned some things and I have had chances to talk to women. And cute non-binary people. It's been painful and difficult but overall I have come out knowing more than I did.