I'm going to a dance party for the first time. I'm scared of becoming a fly on the wall. What can/should I do if this happens? Edit: It was a ton of fun. Thank you all for submitting your thoughts
Are there some practical things you can do at that point? Or is that the cue you should just leave?
Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.
Look, I’ll be honest with you: I don’t know how this is going to go. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to be a fly on the wall.
That said, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to put yourself out there, too. By asking for a dance, you’re communicating “I’m here to have fun”. Try to say that to as many people as you can and you’ll have a blast.
Also, Salsa is so dang easy to do the basic step. 90% of the Latin dances I’ve been to have been just doing the basic step for the whole song and looking at people around me for inspiration of moves to try.
Remember this: no one cares if you’re not a good dancer. What matters is that you are having fun. It’s also okay to be a fly on the wall, it’s okay to move your feet slightly while hugging the wall. It’s okay to close your eyes and pretend you’re dancing in your bedroom in front of your mirror, it’s okay to walk away and take a break if it becomes too much. Don’t force it, just remember to ask yourself if you’re enjoying what you’re doing. A party is about having fun, not winning a contest of popularity or a dance-off (you can totally have a dance off if you want to though). Enjoy!
Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with
My points are still valid. Because some people decide to dance with a partner and follow dance moves doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to enjoy your time and dance by yourself, just don’t take the center stage maybe. If anyone judges you for trying to trance then they’re the bad dancers. Vance should be inclusive, especially at a party. Have fun, and don’t stress it.
Chat to other wall flies/bar tender. Dance around in your own(I've seen guys/gals at the salsa bars jiggling round and swinging those hips, there aren't always enough partners).
Smile, have a good time. You don't need others to make it a good time, put out a relaxed positive vibe and it'll come back to you
Remember that a dance party is a party - most people are there to have fun. I think the main thing to avoid, if you can manage it, is being so caught up inside your own head that you aren't looking at the people around you. Keep your back straight, your head high, your eyes off the floor. Basically, avoid the posture of a shrinking violet and you'll feel less like one. Even if you don't feel confident, maintaining a pose that looks confident will keep some of your fear away, and it will passively invite others to interact with you, which boosts your confidence a little more with each person you talk to.
Even if you spend the entire party standing around and watching other people dance, as long as you are actually watching the event, and mentally present for what's going on, you will gain something from the experience. Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance. Neither choice is wrong, but you have to live with what happens - or doesn't - based on what you choose.
All that said, you can do this! We believe in you!
Parties are not my thing BUT if a friend asks me to go to a party with enough time (maybe 2 weeks), I can mentally prepare, schedule things out, and get my mind ready for a long, tiring night... But hey, with friends, which are people that generally add to your life. Now it's time to give back and make them smile by sharing that tiring time together.
Also, hydrate strongly prior to that night, and don't be hungry. Don't let anything stupid bring your mood down. And relax and enjoy. You've scheduled that time for you to freely waste. Own it.
I did this sort of thing once at a Halloween party. I was by myself just dancing and it was fun af. Some random dude told me twice that I was the best dancer there, and I got to dance with a really hot girl for 2 seconds.
So follow Kat's advice. Just say fuck it and have fun!
you should ask a partner "can you teach me how to dance?" if they say yes, you know they have the patience to dance at whatever level you're comfortable with. and it'll be a really good time
Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.
Assume you are the least experienced dancer of your acquaintance group.
Select the second-least experienced dancer of that group. That person will accept because they'll look good by comparison.
Have fun just trying out the basics with them and laughing about it.