Remember_the_tooth @ Remember_the_tooth @lemmy.world

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112

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2,249

Joined

6 mo. ago

I love this. Here are some more for those in need:

I should not comment on things right after waking up.

Why did I also assume his name was Mike?

https://youtu.be/OntgdM84SDQ

Putting the Dickens in Scrooge.

Overlooked the "with" at first and got really confused that someone was horny for "A Christmas Carol."

It's kinda weird they'd use a Tesla for prison transport.

It's really not that unreasonable. If I fell out of a high-rise window, I'd probably try to off myself mid-air on the way down, too, rather than face the terror of the rest of the plunge.

No, we can go deeper.

I was going to look up which country is closest in size and joke about switching it with Vermont while everyone's sleeping to see if anyone would notice. Turns out it's El Salvador.

Are we sure this isn't an MRAP in disguise?

Why such low mileage?

This makes me want to watch a movie that's a cross between Vivarium and Pleasantville with an absurd focus on cars.

We'll never be perfect. There's always room for learning, which means emulating new behaviors to adapt to a changing environment. It's probably a good idea to look back at how you've changed over time and appreciate the habits that work well for you that you don't have to think about anymore. I'm probably a little over the line of assuming much about a stranger on the internet, if not past the point of starting to project aspects that are unique to my own experience. Still, I hope there's enough commonality among us all for this comment to be encouraging if not technically helpful in some way.

This. Almost everyone I know has said, "Fake it 'til you make it" and "When in Rome..."

Everyone has a nearly government mandated tracking device shoved up their ass at all times...

Not necessarily. I have a large screen, so I have to carry it under my grundle.

...apparently knowing what every single human is doing every picosecond of the day isn't enough and they need more tanks.

Try to see it from their perspective. What if an Asian college student posted a flyer with your picture, name, and job title in a public area. I bet then you'd be glad about them sending in a drone and 17 armored trucks through a suburban neighborhood to his parents' house, where he doesn't live, but what if there weren't enough funding for all 17? What're they supposed to do, go in with 16? That old, non-white couple could have had pointy sticks and other mystical Kung Fu accoutrements. It would have been a bloodbath.

That said, if I had to guess, at least some of the "clearance" in the past was just picking a random black person and stringing them up...

That's a common misconception. They were actually very inclusive and made every effort to provide equal opportunity for all people who weren't white, Anglo, Evangelical, conservative, cisgendered, heterosexual, English-speaking, non-poor, American citizens to participate in their unwilling scapegoat program at gunpoint.

They were also usually very stringent about due processes, like carefully collecting and preserving the planted evidence, taking each others witness statements until they become consistent, coordinating with coroners (when applicable) to help them achieve the right results, and working with DAs to ensure the defendant exercises their right to a trial so speedy they'll miss it if they blink.

...then going out for doughnuts.

I apologize for being so argumentative, but I feel I must disagree again. Their diets are well known to be extremely diverse and aside from doughnuts include beignets, crullers, bear claws, danishes, eclairs, churros, apple fritters, cinnamon rolls, cinnamon twists, cronuts, long johns, maple bars, berliners, paczkis, tiger tails, malasadas, and doughnut holes, just to name a few.

Edit: formatting

At times, it's like watching the Washington Generals play the Harlem Globetrotters.

"C'mon guys! They're not even playing real basketball anymore! Get back in there and take back our civil rights and public services!"