"I will have you know I'm a self made man, just like my father and his father before him"
I think this post must've been made at the tail end of "the narwhal bacons at midnight, lol holds up spork I'm so random" age of the Internet.
I haven't heard a peep about bacon in ages.
At the risk of receiving the ire of Lemmy, there are some notable exceptions to this. I can't speak for all disabilities, but for bipolar disorder, there are a LOT of non-pharmecutical things I have done that makes my life so much better. For me, the #1 best thing I can do is exercise. It sucks because that is the most intensive thing to do, but once I started running a 5k a day, and then cooled down a bit due to my poor knees (now I got into rock climbing), I have been listed as "Bipolar-in remission" by my doctors. This isn't just anecdotal, there is plenty of research on this subject that shows the link between exercise and mental health.
I would also consider "taking my meds" as under the "healthy living my way out of disability", but just taking them isn't enough.
I of course will extend the caveat that I am physically abled to do these exercises, and there are bipolar folks who are unable to make this happen, but if I'm offered a tool to help make my life better, I'm going to use it.
Also to extend deeper into the ire, when people with bipolar disorder choose not to take their diagnosis seriously and refuse treatment, not only can it be harmful to those around them, but also to those of us who are trying to shirk the stereotype of "unstable and dangerous manic depressive". When Kanye was manic and went off on his neo Nazi rants, many people said "well, he's bipolar so it's not really his fault". He wasn't taking meds, and he was ignoring his health leading into it.
Personally, that exoneration is upsetting because so many of us are putting in the effort to live healthy stable lives and accept responsibility for our actions, even when manic. Being manic is an explanation for terrible behavior, but it isn't an excuse. When we believe that bipolar people can't help but be awful, people will hear about my diagnosis and believe that I will be awful and I can't help it. It's dehumanizing.
One more note on this post- it seems to lend itself to hopelessness. Of course it was talking about chronic illness as a whole, and of course chronic illness isn't a monolith, but having the thought of "there's nothing that can be done" isn't something I'm willing to accept, at least for myself. To quote Emily Dickinson, Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and it sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. Every day I hope that tomorrow will be better than today, but I know hope is merely enough. I need to do the work. Sometimes I don't hear the tune, but it's always there waiting should I lend an ear.
I think what the post does very well in it's most core point is address the stigma that abled people have towards the disabled. I'd say the imperative word in the post is "just". You can't just healthy living your way out of chronic illness. For some, healthy living has a huge benefit, but for me to get to where I am wasn't easy, in fact it asks for effort every day, and I know to be in my current mental space takes a lot more effort than it does for others.
From BoJack Horseman: it gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier, But you gotta to do it every day, that's the hard part. But it does get easier.
TL;DR I live with Bipolar disorder and I have found healthy living has saved my life, and while many can't do what I do, letting people off the hook for not taking care of themselves with a dangerous illness creates the stereotypes that negatively impacts people who manage their bipolar disorder.
Edit just to cover my basses, when talking about folks that choose not to address their bipolar disorder/ not exclusing manic episodes, I'm addressing those with a diagnosis and have the means to access medications and help and then actively choose not to. I'm more willing to cut some slack for someone who had a bad prescription and are still finding what works for them, or folks who don't have access to medical care (which is an abomination that medicine isn't universally accessible).
I looked it up and a block in Chicago (where I live) is between 100 to 600 meters.
Chicago and New York have similar walkability, at least in my experience.
Nearest Grocery Store is 1.2 km (0.8miles) away from me, I usually take my bike to go shopping
Nearest park is like... 50 feet from me (15meters) but I happen to live right next to a park.
Nearest cornerstore is 300 meters
Nearest train station is 600 meters
Nearest library is 800 meters
To add some more,
Nearest bar is 400 meters away
I'm a musician, within 1km of me there are 4 open mics I can go to
Nearest theater is the Music Box which is 1.2 km away
Nearest baseball stadium is 1 km away
God I love Chicago
Absolutely! When a student finds the joy of music, they have become a musician.
I also look for what the student does well- what kind of musician are they? Some a great at reading sheet music, some are great at improvising, some are story tellers that see a song as a vehicle for their craft. Imo, it's best to treat the student as a genius. As Viktor Frankl said, "If we overestimate [our student], we can promote them to who they can be [...] If we take [our student] as they are, we make them worse, but if we take them as who they should be, we make them who they can be"
I believe in TRADITIONAL FAMILY VALUES like HARD WORK through HUNTING and GATHERING and COMMUNAL LIVING and DYING AT THE AGE OF 5 and BEING AFRAID OF FIRE and YEETING YOUR KIDS INTO THE FOREST WHEN THEY BECOME ADULTS.
Hey all!
Not sure if this is the right community since it's geared towards private lessons, but I thought in my experience it's helpful to have resources of different exercises you can give to a student when learning an instrument.
Some walk aways I've had-
Direct the lesson towards a practice plan. A student's progress does not happen in the lesson, it happens when they practice. My job as a teacher is to make practicing as easy, accessible, and fun as possible. Always begin the lesson asking "how was practice this week?" and if they say "I didn't practice", do not shame them. I start with "Hey, that's okay, it happens. What do you think made it difficult to get practice in?" Sometimes it's lack of motivation, sometimes they have competing schedules like school and math homework, sometimes it's something else altogether. I had a 6 year old ukulele student who said she didn't practice and when I asked why not, she pointed to the wall where her ukulele was hanging on a hanger 8 feet in the air. Sometimes it really isn't their fault for being unable to practice. Understanding why can open doors for solutions.
When developing a practice plan, I use this 4 point strategy that we create during the lesson.
-
Set an intention for their practice. What do they want to walk away with that they didn't have going into it?
-
A technical exercise. These should be geared to making the instrument more physically accessible to the student. These could be scales, long tones for horn players, stretch exercises, even simple hand workouts for guitarists.
-
Something to perform. Give your student a goal, and see if you can create a date for a performance. I've had my students hold a small concert at a cafe, and it really gave them the push to be better players.
-
Something they love. Ask what their favorite thing to do on their instrument is. This may also unearth some issues if motivation is the problem. They should play their instrument, not work it. This should be fun.
--------------------------------
I also make sure to send follow up texts to the parents. This is a good way to keep them in the loop, and make sure they are able to be part of keeping your student accountable to practice. Parents have a huge influence over a child's schedule and are also the ones with the pocket book, so it's important they understand the value of the lessons so they keep scheduling you for more. If you are private practice, this is also a good opportunity to remind them to pay you.
-------------------------------- If you are going private practice and need some help with the business side of things, here are some things I've found.
I have set my prices in a two tier system. I have a price for one off lessons, and then a reduced price for bundle purchases. This means I give a good 20% off if they book 4 lessons at a time. Even though this may seem like a hit, I've found the biggest hole in my bucket are cancelations. For me, my one off lessons are $100 for an hour, but with the bundle it drops to $80.
If I am offering lessons to someone who is lower income, I have also figured out other ways to help lower the cost on them without reducing my rates. I travel to my students, so if they come to me, I may give an additional discount. Another one would be to offer a group lesson with multiple students with another discount.
For Marketing, Facebook is a great place to post advertisements. Join a neighborhood group and make a post ~once a week depending on the activity of the group. You don't want to spam them, but you also want to make sure you don't fall off the algorithm. If you add in a video of you giving a 60 second taste of what you teach, that also can get you some interest.
--------------------------------------- In a lesson, I make sure to have improvisation games as it can take the pressure off the student to read music. I reserve the last 5 minutes to cool down where I will lay down a bass line or chord progression, and give the student a few keys they can play to make a solo. As they progress I give them more and more freedom. It's amazing what they can do!
There are some games for technique- I created a little game called "pianist's-monte" where the student has to conceal a small paper ball in a hand and then start playing the piano. I then have to decide what hand is holding the ball. It does exaggerate the "claw" needed to have good technique, but it can really help undo the spread fingers that a kid could develop.
For horns, I play mouthpiece games where we imitate different animals. Reed's can be geese and brass can be ducks. We then have a conversation as a geese or ducks. It's hilarious and it can help with some embouchure practice.
That's all I can think of now! Hope this helps someone!
So I dealt with this a shit ton in my 20s, and have only recently found an effective way to reframe my mindset.
First, my friend introduced me to parts theory. It's a practice that's underscored by "nonessentialism" for my philosophy friends here (i.e. there is no single you, you are made up of many, many identities that come together). The exercise I would recommend you do is to name the different parts of you. Hell, to make it fun, pretend they are tarot cards or something. For instance my negative feelings came from a part of me I now call "the sleezy politician" who manipulates people into doing what he wants. I also took note of the origin story of this character- I had very unstable family dynamics that had a lot of backroom conversations, and also I had a traumatic friend group explosion in highschool that taught me I need to control others through charm to survive.
I also have "the musician", "the teacher", "the council", "the romantic", "the child"... I listed 34 and I could probably keep going. Recognize each one of these people is trying to take control of the wheel of your life, and you can choose who you give it too.
I also just listened to Kevin Hines on the Man Enough Podcast . The man enough podcast is a podcast that deals with men's issues through a feminist lense- I see it as the antidote to the manosphere. That said, I don't think you need to be a dude to take something from this. TW: it has a lot to do with suicide, but it is very uplifting when it comes to self love. The exercise I took away from it is to note the thoughts repeating in my head of who I tell myself I am, and then say the opposite. I am responsible. I am kind. I am genuine. I am honest. I am enough.
Finally I had a thought yesterday- I need to love myself before I love others. If I'm not comfortable in my own skin, how can I be comfortable with someone else? My friend who just got married said he knew she was the one when "the relaxed feeling I have when I'm alone at home is the same when I'm with her at home. I feel at home." That's when I realized I need to be at home with myself.
But don't just love yourself- have a crush on yourself. Idk about you, but when I'm absolutely crushing on someone I'm seeing, I become like a bird of paradise. I keep my place clean. I exercise. I eat right. I take them out to dance and see the world. I do everything I can to be my best self for this person. So why not do that for me?
I hope some of this can help friend. You aren't just wanted here, you are needed here, and for a reason.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/23106804
> A side-cut of what the deepest cave in the world looks like rule
idk, I know that there are great companies to work for- my sister found a unicorn of a job. Great pay (and hourly), tons of vacation, work from home, a decent amount of travel but not too much (she's in sales for a scientific instrument company), but I have job hopped enough to know that what she has is now becoming the exception. And of course to your point, this is all anecdotal. I'm now self employed and I've never been busier nor happier.
I cannot tell you how many bosses Ive had/ heard say they are going to have a moment of "radical kindness" and then proceed to just RIP into their employees until they cry.
Corporate double speak is wack.
Awwww, what a close friendship they had. Fully plutonic. Just two very straight friends. Good ol' guy love, between two guys.
The amount of times people have called my trumpet a saxophone, or my trombone a saxophone, or my clarinet a saxophone, or my melodica a saxophone, or my saxophone a saxophone apauls me.
Never call someone a saxophone; not only is it rude, it's a slur and against the law.
Fully agree.
My take as of late is that any 3rd party candidate who runs in our two party system can't possibly be serious. They make a huge show, maybe get a message out, but almost always torpedo the party closest to them.
With the Stein's and RFKs in the news, it's all sexy flashy publicity without any serious effort to have a 3rd party win.
That said, there is another 3rd party personality that you might not have heard of in a while: Andrew Yang.
I actually believe he is serious about electoral reform, in fact that's the one issue his Forward Party is about. He and his team have worked quietly to help get ranked choice vote in local elections. He is not running for president as a spoiler candidate. He is not running for senate as an independent. He is putting in the work along with fairvote.org to make the structural changes needed to have viable 3rd party campaigns. We saw what happened in Alaska when ranked choice vote was present- they kept Sarah Palin from holding a Senate seat and elected a Democrat instead.
If we had the NPVIC and ranked choice vote, our democracy would be much more representative, collaborative, and stable.
Basically, but the next step is to forgive and love that part as well. That part of you developed for a reason. If you can name what that part of you is, you might be able to look back to a time where that part of you was what was helping you. Now that you are living a different life, the game is to tell that part to step to the side and let another part of you take the wheel.
At least that's what a gleaned from my conversation last night.
If it helps anyone in a similar situation, after a shroom trip two weeks ago, I realized my issue is a deeeeeep seated shame- my "Mr. Ethics" vibe is a facade and if you cross examined me long enough you would find out I'm rotten to the core.
I know this is false, but it's so engrained it's hard to shake.
In relationships, I'll feel very anxious because I feel like "the jig is gonna be up soon, they'll see you for who you are, you will hurt them" so I'll usually drop and run.
4 hours later
Also I started this comment a few hours ago, but since have chatted with my friend over beers and he told me about "parts therapy". Basically acknowledge there are many parts to you, there is no single you. There is the "superhero" you, the "deviant" you, the "artist", the "lover", etc. So in trying to identify this core I believe is rotten, I came up with "the sleezy politician". I feel like I can manipulate people like hell- I can put on the charm to get what I want or to avoid risk. I can think of times when this version of me was necessary as a survival mechanism. Highschool was clique-city, and the theater department was a social minefield. My family had a heavy political side. Growing up I felt like I had a superpower to lie and get away with anything, it took me a while to realize it wasn't a superpower but would hurt me so much more later. All that I learned through that is something I now need to undo, and that is to be comfortable with myself and not care about how others see me.
Ooof sorry I kinda word vomited but thanks for being my prep for tomorrow's therapy sesh.
As it stands now, you could give me an amazing person to be with who would check all my boxes and would be a perfect match
And I would break up with them anyway in about 6 months.
I have a VERY avoidant attachment style that I need to shake before I can get into anything.
Hey all,
We have hit 682 subscribers, which if you are not aware, is the legally recognized limit where we can become a church rather than a niche community of map nerds.
I just wanted to take time to thank every one of you who were sent here by a prank hyperlink, saw what we do, and thought "I want front row seats to this train wreck". Your optimism to consider !cartographyanarchy@lemm.ee a train is what drives the mod team to continue to not have to do jack shit but cross post maps of the US that have been photocopied a couple times, read a few comments and proposals for marriage, light up a massive ol' bong, and watch Marble racing YouTube videos.
When I started this sub, I was just a guy with nothing to prove but that I could hijack a subreddit, build my own mod team, go dark in the protest of 2023, fight god, lose, get exiled to Dallas, get told about Lemmy in prison, join after being rejected by yiffit, Lemmynsfw, and lemmy.ml, create a community devoted to tearing the western world down brick by brick, and then pivot to silly maps after seeing the wifi name "AbsolutelyNotFBI" pop up in my phone.
But here we are, and "AbsolutelyNotFBI" no longer shows up when I try to connect to my wifi. Thank you all so much for making that lemonade stand across my street that was run by two grown men in suits and wearing earpieces go away.
With that said, I want to announce that in our next year, we will go where no other Lemmy community has gone before. The moon.
That's right, with your help, I can ask my wealthy and politically influential dad to bully Elon Musk into giving us a spaceship. As a subscriber to this community, you will be on that spaceship too, whether you like it or not. We will create a new society separate from the mess of late stage capitalism. We will wear silly clothes. We are not a space cult. We are not a space cult. We are not a space cult.
If you feel the same excitement as I do for the future of !cartographyanarchy@lemm.ee, please post more maps, comment, mention us in other threads when relevant, sell all your possessions, and buy my book on how a life of memes on the moon will liberate you from the horrors of this earth.
I continue to be humbled by how many people have been posting, and how many people here are A list actors. Keep up the good work!
Sic Semper Tyranus,
~Meep
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/19179362
> Canada.
How many of you consider texting an ex that was an amicable breakup to see if they'd be up for a hookup.
Update : I created a group text with all of them and now we are planning a 30 person Orgy at the Marriott in San Francisco.
Lol jk I just woke up and made eggs.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/18005265
> Unique ways to peace out as national leader
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/14696904
> basic geography rule > > it came to my attention that my previous post on basic geography https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/14668411 needed an inset for Michigan to provide better geographic context, thanks @Technus@lemmy.zip for the catch!
Hello!
I'm (30m) going on a date tomorrow, which I am excited about, but also very anxious about. I've had a horrible pattern of failed relationships for various reasons. Some ended ugly, some ended civil, some ended and we still get together as friends. Still, my heart feels congested and bruised after so many heartbreaks. I feel broken and poisoned and ruined.
I don't consider myself a witch, and I don't usually think of myself as especially spiritual, but yesterday I felt especially nervous about a future relationship. Am I ready? Will I hurt them? Will they hurt me? Will I pass up the opportunity to find love with the kindest, softest, cutest, happiest person I've met? I thought about how I felt after the 20 years of me falling for people, and all that I've been through.
My friend who is a witch gave me some sage a while ago, so I decided to light the sage and walk in a circle in my apartment. I was improvising, but thought maybe I could do SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
I said the name of all of my exes out loud, with long pauses in between for me to reflect on the relationship, how I felt in the beginning, the middle, and the end of each one. Some I felt warmth remembering how kind they were to me. Some I felt gratitude to what they taught me. Some I cried because of the guilt of how I left them. Some I cried because of the memory of how they left me. The ones who were especially impactful I gave a full 10 minutes of silence and reflection. I said all the names of my partners going back to the initial most innocent "relationship" I had in 4th grade. I felt some relief, and felt better about my date as I was going into it without as much of the baggage that held me down before.
What are your thoughts? I really don't know what I'm doing but I know I want to stop feeling the guilt and sadness of the people I loved. I am so lucky to have loved so many people, but also feel like I need to let go.
Anyone else remember using Facebook to find out if your new crush was available?
I mean besides rating women, that was the initial purpose of FB.
I was supposed to go to Vegas today for my friends bachelor party. I hate Vegas. It's going to be 90° AT NIGHT and hit 116°. I hate the smell of cigarettes. I hate the constant ringing of slot machines. I hate strip clubs. I hate the "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" because that is no basis for an ethos.
Spirit cancelled my flight for no reason, rescheduled it for tomorrow, and gave me $24 in food vouchers. Fuck if I know why.
Spirit Airlines: Task Failed Successfully
I'm feeling so uneasy with everything I've been seeing. I keep thinking about what we will be this time next year, and if shit hits the fan, what is your plan? I'm queer and was politically active in 2020, so I would potentially be considered a political enemy.
The only blueprint I can think of is what you do in an active shooter situation; Flee, Hide, Fight.
I know there's that romantic notion of "don't be a coward, get out and protest", but I remember the brutality of the 2020 protests firsthand, and even then I thought "thank god I'm going toe to toe with the CPD and not the CCP". Next time is going to be different. The president now has authority to send drone strikes. Protests and riots don't stand a chance agains missiles and live rounds.
Flee- I have an Uncle in Montreal who my family could potentially use as a way to at least temporarily escape the chaos. The hope I'd have is that Canada and other countries would accept American refugees, however that's not a guarantee.
Hide- If borders are closed, lay low and move away from major cities if possible. If civil war breaks out, try to get away from the violence even if you think your side will win. Todays losers may be tomorrows victors.
Fight- If cellular data/ social media algorithms can keep track of you, and surveillance can make sure there's no movement, this would be the last resort of desperation. I guess if possible try to either find a group for safety in numbers, or conversely go guerrilla as groups of resistance would make easy targets.
Sorry my mind is running and I'm getting scared.