What's best way of telling a dating app match, you're done texting for the day?
When I get a match on a dating app, and it's going well, I often run into the problem of not knowing how to conclude texting for the day. My social battery runs out pretty quickly when texting. Especially when I just met the other person that day. I usually just tell a white lie.
So does anyone maybe have a good line on how to end things casually, for the day? Or is this something you should tell them beforehand? Or is telling a white lie the proper way to go in this scenario?
I just don't respond if I'm doing something else or calling it a night. It's ok to set boundaries by just taking your time to respond. You don't have to respond immediately and it's not really healthy to expect them to every time either. Anyone that can't handle that and stops responding just isn't going to be a match for you if you need to have that kind of break from responding. I'm definitely opposed to the white lies, I prefer someone I'm communicating with to at least respect me enough to be up front about it if they say anything at all, but I don't need a reason if they don't respond for hours or even a day or so.
Be honest with them. There is nothing wrong with saying that you need to take a break from the app. You don’t have to go into detail either; a simple, “It’s been great chatting, I need to go do something else for a bit. Would you mind picking this back up later?” should suffice.
And if it doesn’t suffice – i.e., they get offended – then maybe they aren’t what you’re looking for in a relationship. Healthy relationships, even in the beginning, should be based on honesty, openness, and each person willing to give the other their space.
As for how much to talk to them on the app, whether to give out your phone number, or to meet them in person, is completely up to you and them and how you both feel things are moving along. There is no need to pressure yourself or the other person with some preconceived notion of how to do dating. Everyone is different. No two people will interact the same way. Trust your gut and talk to your potential partner about what they are comfortable with doing.
In the first few messages try to establish a date, event, some meeting. Then you can just say, going to get my head down and focus on work, project, meeting, travel, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!
If you don't have a established next step bur want to cool things off, respond to the last message. Oh, that's super creative, interesting, lots of think about. Brb I'm going to be away from my phone for a few hours
In the first few messages try to establish a date, event, some meeting.
This has always been my biggest tip. There is zero point in making smalltalk on the app. You aren't getting accurate versions of each other, you are getting short, premeditated responses. And, if your match is a woman, she is getting dozens of additipnal matches and conversations, you don't want to become "boring" and forgotten. Just meet in person as soon as you can in 99% of cases.
Seriously? I was always told you text for like two or three days first before going on a date. Oh I could definitely do that. I actually really hate texting XD
Schedule a date for a few days from the first message (usually schedules don't line up right away anyway), then talk to them frequently until the date. If you lose interest because something weird comes up via text, you can always cancel the date.
That advice is from the 1950s where there were not that many options and people didn't want to seem desperate. I like you, but not too much kinda thing.
Do that today and you might as well disappear from the face of the earth.
Misread your comment, I thought it was the old phone call advice.
Meeting strangers is no big deal, I meet them all the time, just have to walk outside. At the coffee shop there is strangers in line. Talk to them too. Arranging a face-to-face shouldn't be a big deal, it's just like cool maybe maybe we'll sync up
Texting stresses me out, but I still rather talk a bit, to get a feel for the other person. If a guy presses for a meet up in the first few sentences, I might just back out and say never mind I'd rather not.
The line doesn't seem like a problem. It's normal to need time to yourself. I think the people with whom this line doesn't work well are the actual problem.
In my book, getting to that point without a plan to meet is a failed interaction. No one wants to text all day. It's the small talk we do to get to the point where we meet people we're interested in. It's a tryout to make sure you're not a weirdo or jackass. So do a little ice breaker, discuss two to three topics, then suggest exchanging phone numbers so you can meet up sometime. No one wants to text for three days straight. They're waiting for you to ask for their number.
Lots of texting in the presence of such doubts is destructive IMHO. Have a voice phone call instead. If you have to text I'd say "I have to go offline pretty soon, I'll be free tomorrow after about 6pm" or whatever. I just hate long text conversations though.