My daughter's back from her camping trip. 16 adults, kids and 4 dogs attended. She's recounting her adventures.
Her: Oh and we played trivia
Me: Did you win?
Her: Yeah
Me: Did you whip their arses?
Her: Yeah. And one of the blokes was an ologist of some sort.
Me: Did you whip his arse?
Her: laughs Yeah
Me: That's my girl.
Years of paying her to be an impromptu quiz master has paid off.
I close my eyes and all I see is you,
A silhouette of all my nightmares coming true.
You throw your weight around on me,
Getting off on all the ways I'm suffocating.
So I sink into the bed and out of my mind,
As my heart skips the beat and falls out of time.
Does your girlfriend know about your three am DM to me?
Five years out from the fallout of your fuck around and find out?
She approve of you blaming me for the pain you caused me?
Does she know what you've done or have you spun her a new story;
A narrative that paints you plaintive in the face of great adversity,
With me standing in as the villain in your rewritten history?
I'll tear you apart from head to heart to watch you bleed,
Get on your knees and let me hear you beg and plead,
Reenact that scene, reenact that scene for me:
The one where I was begging you to set me free.
I want to see what you saw when you carved me into your pawn,
But revenge is a dish that's best served cold and raw,
Do it again and I'll bring you pain you've never felt before,
Like when you choked me out with your father's belt on the hardwood floor.
I close my eyes and all I see is you,
Standing over me, my nightmares coming true.
You throw your weight around on me,
Getting off on all the ways I'm suffocating.
So I sink into the bed and out of my mind,
As my heart skips the beat and I fall out of time.
Iโd love it if manufacturers would stop reformulating everything.
A lot of the โnew and improvedโ stuff is actually worse, sometimes even causing bad reactions for me. Often not only me. Whenever it happens I stop buying.
Had a nap from 3 to 8. But I'm still dissociating. A strange sense of doom looms over my head and has infiltrated my heart and my guts, I feel strange pangs in both.
Perhaps I'm just unwell, but when am I ever not unwell?
The exhaustion is hitting me haaaard again, slept til 11am, then had a slow breakfast, followed by going to three shops for groceries... then just sat in my car and snoozed for another hour. That's bad, I normally chill in my car on my phone but have never actually slept in it.
Still haven't done my readings either... But I made food?
Tonight it's khichuri (the lentil-and-rice origin of kedgeree without fish in it) in the rice cooker, with mung dal as the lentil, and my first attempt at vegetable korma (thickened with coconut milk and cashews blended). Wish I remembered to buy frozen peas to really add to it.
not particularly aesthetic pikturz
Not a bad dinner if I say so myself esp with some super intense lime pickle to cut through ot all. Gonna freeze some of the excess korma for a nice dinner later on.
After visiting my aunt I feel inspired to get an Instant Pot to make this dish (and many others) more quickly...
Also potentially in the reformulation hall of shame - Ensure powder. Iโd been drinking it in recent years to help maintain nutrition, but then it got taken off shelves and brought back with new labelsโฆ
TW medical, vomiting
In developments that may or may not be connected, I started needing to dilute the Ensure much more to stomach it and eventually completely stopped having it because it was making me really sick, much more than my normal baseline.
My stomach still shuts down (gastroparesis but possibly something else too - tests are still pending) and Iโm still in a lot of pain but since I quit drinking the Ensure Iโm no longer routinely vomiting.
It was always a little gross to drink and I canโt find anything about a reformulation? Nothing is jumping out at me as different on the label.
But more recently itโs unambiguously been worsening things for me and Iโm trying to remember if that started around the time of the new packaging.
I really feel like companies should be required to announce changes and disclose what they were.
Did a big stuff up today, am upset due to it. Have some critical things in the next couple of weeks that will be emotionally challenging. Why is stress hard. Wish I was tougher.
Looking at the movies on the Internet Archive and some of them look ok. Selection isnโt as bad as I thought.
Some of them are a no thanks for me but there seem to be a few cult movies on there
Edit: There are still a few rare ones (Sympathy For Mr Vengeance, Lone Wolf And Cub) and Beetlejuice. But a lot of the entries for the ones I wanted to check out first (classic slashers) mostly consist of crud like podcasts discussing them, soundtracks, trailers, art etc. Angery.
Still not succumbing to the subscription streaming bullshit though. I just want to go back to the days of Blockbuster, where I could rent 5 weekly videos for $10 and heat up a frozen pizza to eat while I watchโฆ
TV Review. Dostoyevsky , Series on Amazon. Made in Russia.
Not sure if I have reviewed this before but I just watched the last half of the series.
It is near unrelenting in evoking negative emotion and viewpoints. And it is true terrible things happened , bad in ways that ordinary people can not imagine.
It seems all the human suffering shown is contrasted with the beauty of the cities, the country and the people. That's just Russian art.
They didn't show the source of all the guilt that Fyodor experienced and wrote about . Could be ptsd and survivor guilt. Religion invoked guilt. Feeling like a failure because he didn't want a normal job but was driven to be a writer, a literate person could do well at being a clerk in that time
maybe we had to surmise it all . Over all I found the series very unsettling.
I think many sets/shots are reproductions on screen of famous paintings like these https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peredvizhniki and of course the most famous painting is reproduced too