Hippos

Do these guys ever cease to be assholes?

Moo Dang is pretty cute.
- More like Poo Dang
- Moo deng probably gonna grow up and murder several people
- True, but I still want to see the poop numbers just to be sure.
I think they serve an important ecological function of pushing down marsh grass to better the flow of water. Or something like that.
- Well, lawyers also serve a useful purpose...

If I got my division order right, that’s about 5 lbs of shit per hippo per day (19841 % 4000). That’s probably a lot more than I shit each day.

"probably"
- Depends how strong the espresso was. 😅
Oh. I now realise I completely missed the "4000 hippos" part, but it didn't feel strange to me because I'm so used to reading about dinosaurs.

Underwater chem trails

Now compare that to factory farms and their manure run off.

Roughly 2.57632e9 lbs per day according to this report.

U.S. factory farms are raising more animals than ever before. Together, the 1.7 billion confined animals produce an appalling 941 billion pounds of manure each year — double the weight in human sewage produced by the entire U.S. population.
- And much worse managed I bet

But I bet their poop is great for growing the grasses they eat. It’s probably also really good for tourists, who it seems to attract and that they also eat.

Hippos are herbivores. They only kill tourists for fun.
- That’s ridiculous and was clearly shown to be false by my joke.
  
  Obviously, hippos evolved so their poop was irresistible to tourists. This is something my joke mentions to explain why hippos are always attacking tourists.
- You joke, but some animals are psychopaths. I remember a news years ago of a seal raping a penguin.
  
  /r/JustLikeUs
- It's important for their mental enrichment.

Truly the most dangerous species on earth! 🌎

You’re forgetting humans.
- Naw, I just knew that someone else would bring it up to fill in the gap:-).
- You're forgetting mosquitos.

I mean that’s one way to say your ex is toxic

Me exiting the Taco Bell bathroom: "Notice me senpai!"

Wait, that's just 2.25 kg of dung per hippo. That sounds like way too little. I'm pretty sure a human being could produce 2.25 kg of dung in a day with the right team spirit and some elbow grease, but you're telling me these dainty, bashful cowards can't do better despite weighing so much more? Pathetic.

I imagine they also poop on land
A guy on Reddit didn't take a shit for a month and a half and it finally came out weighting 9lbs, I don't think you can do 5lbs on the regular...
- Interesting, my grandma once described giving birth as like pooping a bowling ball. That guy might actually somewhat understand the experience.
I just did the math and that's the equivalent to a little more that 3 and a half Chipotle burritos. I can't imagine trying to flush that down my toilet.