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  • Massive lovely win for today: blood test results back in record time, everything's good, new MH plan and a really nice chilled out chat with the Dr... and he bulk billed me!!!! Ahhh!!! That's like Christmas come early these days given that the gap fee is like 60 (70 after 5pm).

    ...I hate how American that sounds, having to jump for joy at cheaper healthcare based onto the whim of someone else :(

    Have been craving mee goreng something heinous this afternoon so treating myself to a nice spicy bowl on Victoria St. This place is always legit. I am riding the high of Nice Things until I can get my kitchen sorted our very soon...

    E: saw my old place listed for sale barely a week after I moved out. Well, I'm glad that they're genuinely selling it and not trying to get new tenants at higher prices. LL better be grateful that I've let her get it on the market so quickly and at a good time of the year...

    • That does look good!

      I think you've inspired me to try my hand at a mee goreng recipe tomorrow.

    • I have to admit after seeing that photo I nearly booked up some egg noodles and mixed random sauces together.

      I caved and went for frankfurts with bread instead.

  • Sort of fucked up yesterday.

    Had 'a go' at the ol' man about the way he's trying to tackle his little fence dispute (on top of everything else). Basically long winded combative emails to the neighbour. Problem is the neighbour appears to have literacy issues judging by the way he writes (so they need to be short and to the point).

    Anyway so when you have a go, let's just say he's not the sort of person that will take criticism.

    So he stood up, calmly said he's going for a walk. That shit never happens it's always far more heated.

    On the one hand I shouldn't have done that right now and just let it be, on the other it shows where his head is with respect to mum's issues. It's a completely unrelated issue (a fence and medical stuff) but it definitely says something.

    I have no idea how to support someone like him emotionally through this (not the fence but mum heh). He's got a bunch of garden / house shit he's doing which is his 'escape' but I can tell it's really taking its toll.

    • You are both under stress and it will happen. Don't dwell on it. Maybe a quiet "Sorry if I came across harsh over the fence thing, let me know if you need anything" and move on.

  • I have a problem with overthinking about things and events that occur or may occur as a result of something.

    It's definitely one of the things that gives me a great amount of stress and anxiety.

    I keep thinking about things and the possibilities and sometimes bad or unpleasant things that happen stay in my mind for quite awhile.

    I don't quite know how to handle those feelings and what I should do.

    It's been suggested that I just move past things and forget, or distract myself to take my mind off of things or I be more stubborn about my own feelings and harden up?

    There's been other things, like for example I followed all the steps and did things as soon as I realised or possible and I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasn't my fault but still it bothers me. (That was what I was stressing about)

    There's possibly more to come in the future as the problem hasn't come close to be resolved and I hope I don't keep thinking about what might happen.

    Apologies for the rant.

    • This is very human behaviour, totally normal.

      What helps me with this specifically is saying "What if it all works out?" or the similar inverse of whatever your worry is. "I might fuck up my interview and say something dumb" becomes "What if we get on so well, they toss out their questions and we just start chatting like old friends?"

      It's not like 🕉️ woowoo positive ✨ mantras ✨and manifestation stuff. It's literally tricking you brain to make good chemicals instead of bad ones.

      • For awhile I spent some time with just a movie on in the background and I was scrolling through some happy posts.

        Then I distracted myself with some food and a few rounds of Balatro.

        Looking for something else to do for a bit then I’ll head to bed.

        I think it’s just a bunch of bad stuff happening lately all at once that’s making me feel overwhelmed.

      • Some aspects of it seems to describe me.

        I do get hung up about events that make me feel crap or if I treat someone badly but in some ways I make peace with it that I have a conscience and knowingly think about my actions and recognise what to treat and be treated appropriately.

    • I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasn’t my fault but still it bothers me.

      what would bother me is not my performance but the person blaming me , that's where I would put my focus

      a mature and nice person doesn't blame others for events out their control

      • +++++

        It took me so long to start thinking like this but my last boss woke me up to this fact. I have such infinitely better managers now and I could almost laugh at how hard I tried to please unreasonable people.

      • I know he’s an asshole but it doesn’t really make me feel any better about it sometimes.

  • Finally managed to get a hold of one of my friends.

    Been an unlucky day where I’ve been able to reach anyone.

    Just talking a little bit on the phone helped me a little bit with my stress and anxiety.

    I’m so grateful to be able to do that but I hope he’ll be able to call me back to talk more as I know he’s been busy.

  • TIL about the black screen of death, like the blue screen of death but black

  • bloody hell, this diet must be working.

    I put a little make up on too and suddenly it's like I'm a visible person again.

    which is goddamn awful. 😡

117 comments