Jeff Winger: "We're the only species on earth that observes "Shark Week." Sharks don't even observe "Shark Week," but we do. For the same reason I can pick up this pencil, tell you its name is Steve and go like this."
(Jeff snaps the pencil in two.)
Abed Nadir: "Oh!"
Jeff Winger: "And part of you dies just a little bit on the inside. Because people can connect with anything. We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting."
It's pretty well established that humans can empathise with inanimate objects. It just sucks (but isn't surpriusing) that people think "okay, but can I use empathy to make money?"
Nah, let's use this information to squeeze even more money out of people. Gotta be the first person to be responsible for the majority of human suffering capital. /s
I hate that this would work on me. I'm also stingy as fuck which comes in handy here but I can absolutely hear myself go "aww" at a stupid single banana.