Viral CIA File on Alleged Alien Encounter With Soldiers Sparks UFO Interest

"five short humanoids with large heads and large black eyes" sorry but this is just the lazy alien you gotta do better

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
- One of my seven grandpas said you should believe me because I'm a real swell dude
  
  Ha! Three and a half parents! I knews aliens were real!
- Those stone soldiers should have made a world tour 25 years ago when they were declassified.
  
  *stoned
  
  It would have been classier to have turned them into terracotta.
- But why?
  Proving our place in the cosmos only required regular evidence. That was extraordinary. Why is this subject on a separate pedestal?
  
  Do you think our astronomical theories were developed on word of mouth, rumor, and "trust me bro?"
  
  You're too focused on the word "extraordinary" but all this adage is meant to convey is that claims require evidence. If you ignore the word "extraordinary" the point remains the same.
  The phrase is popular among skeptics because we deal with a lot of paranormal claims. And paranormal claims are by definition, extraordinary.
  
  Proving our place in the cosmos already HAS extraordinary evidence. Our continued existence (and witness to that) IS the evidence. No one bar solipsists doubt that humans exist.
  
  Because generally, if you're making an extraordinary claim based on ordinary evidence, chances are the evidence actually points to something ordinary. You need extraordinary evidence that can't be explained by something ordinary.

"A tabloid says the CIA says the KGB saw aliens turn people to stone. Also this is a news article on something that was declassified 25 years ago with no new developments."
okay
- idk ground.news says it's very unbiased, so I think I've gotta believe it.

Why is it that anytime there is anything big, politically or otherwise, happening in the US there is magically talk of UFOs and aliens. Oh, I think I just answered my own question..
- Obviously because the aliens get intrigued and the mass influx of intergalactic reality TV show fans causes an increase in sightings which causes a butterfly effect of relevant information to come to light. Duh.
- Flood the zone with shit.
- what big thing happened today we should be paying attention to instead?
  
  Literally any and every other thing that’s actually going in the world.
  
  Trump basically told the Supreme Court they could go fuck themselves. That seems big.

This story has been around for a bit. Probably a bit of absurd misinfo the intelligence agencies circulated to fuck with each other.

How is this “not the Onion”? This isn’t the kind of stuff The Onion prints.
- I would consider The Onion several levels above a generic tabloid. Not even in the same class. Like, The Onion actually has class.

If you don't accept all cookies you get a login page or blurred content and a paid subscription offer. Fuck that.
actual document
Make what you want of it. Strange detail at the top: "Document 199 of 54" - wut?
- Transcript of the interesting bit - Note that the text is JUST a reprint of the article, not the CIA confirming anything:
  Country: Russia International Subject: Paper reports alleged evidence on mishap involving ufo Source: Kiev Holos Ukrayiny in Ukrainian 27 Mar 93 P 5
  Reprint from the newspaper Ternopil Vechirniy: "Cosmic Revenge"
  After Mikhail Gorbachev dissolved, in 1991, the KGB top secret intelligence administration, a lot of material from that department found their way abroad, in particular to the CIA. As reported by the authoritative magazine Canadian Weekly World News, U.S. intelligence obtained a 250-page file on the attack by a UFO on a military unit in Siberia. The file contains not only many documentary photographs and drawings, but also testimonies by actual participants in the events. One of the CIA representatives referred to this case as "a horrific picture of revenge on the part of extraterrestrial creatures, a picture that makes one's blood freeze."
  According to the KGB materials, a quite low-flying spaceship in the shape of a saucer appeared above a military unit that was conducting routine training maneuvers. For unknown reasons, somebody unexpectedly launched a surface-to-air missile and hit the UFO. It fell to earth not far away, and five short humanoids with "large heads and large black eyes" emerged from it.
  It is stated in the testimonies by the two soldiers who remained alive that, after freeing themselves from the debris, the aliens came close together and then "merged into a single object that acquired a spherical shape." That object began to buzz and hiss sharply, and then became brilliant white. In a few seconds, the spheres grew much bigger and exploded by flaring up with an extremely bright light. At that very instant, 23 soldiers who had watched the phenomenon turned into stone poles. Only two soldiers who stood in the shade and were less exposed to the luminous explosion survived.
  The KGB report goes on to say that the remains of the UFO and the "petrified soldiers" were transferred to a secret scientific research institution near Moscow. Specialists assume that a source of energy that is still unknown to earthlings instantly changed the structure of the soldiers' living organisms, having transformed it into a substance whose molecular composition is no different from that of limestone.
  A CIA representative stated: "If the KGB file corresponds to reality, this is an extremely menacing case. The aliens possess such weapons and technology that go beyond all our assumptions. They can stand up for themselves if attacked.
  
  Uh, Canadian Weekly World News was like the Inquirer. Edit: maybe I'm remembering the name "The Inquirer" wrong, but in any case it was tabloid schlock
  This is a made up story from the 90s.
- 199 of 54
  Secret rare!

Tom Delonge(i think is the name from blink 182) must be super excited

Blasted Medusaians! They took the phrase rock hard the wrong way. So touchy about being shot down.