YSK how to unclog a toilet

I would not brush my teeth on that sink ever.

Be careful with the hot water. A friend cracked his toilet that way.

Australian here.
Step 1: design your damn toilets so they do not clog.
Step 2: there is no step 2.
Seriously, half a century of toilet use here in Aus and I've never caused - or discovered even - a blocked toilet at home.
Clearly the fact that I can buy a toilet plunger from the local hardware store indicates that this can happen here. But it seems that every American household has a toilet plunger and poop knife on standby and many articles are devoted to what clogs, and how to unclog, American toilets.
There are better designs for both toilets and plumbing out there guys, maybe you should look into using them.
- It's not the toilets that clog, it's the pipes beyond. Thick toilet paper and tampons and tree roots breaking into pipes...etc are the culprits.
- Maybe it's American diets and not the plumbing.
- sh itjust works
- Dude we put a pack of (not) flushable wipes and a dozen tampons down the drain, and all our shops have free public toilets
  Good luck..
- You've got it all wrong. We've got the exact same toilets! They just struggle with the compressed remains of my three brunch big macs....
  
  You don't, American toilets are weird and siphon the bowl out before filling it with water. The better design dumps water into the bowl from the cistern and flushes everything through.
  
  How many courics?
- I completely agree that the us should design their plumbing better, but we do typically throw more flushable golfballs down the toilet than you.
- in b4 someone asks about the poop knife

Note to Australians. Your sewerage pipes are double the width of the USA's weak, inferior pipes. You may never need a plunger in your entire life.
Also, wet wipes are NOT flushable ANYWHERE, and if we didn't live in fake democracies ruled by corporations any company that labelled them as such would have been sued into bankruptcy decades ago.
- Also see our traffic crossings, currency (notes), and preferential voting system for other things Australians do better than most of the rest of the world.
- That expains it. Never owned one, never needed one.
  Thanks!

Hol up... You're supposed to heat the plunger up first? I can only assume it's to loosen up the rubber so it compresses better, but I've never felt like it was too stiff to not work.
- This was the part that I wouldn't do just because I view the sink as mostly clean and plunger as mostly dirty. So unless I were to sterilize the sink afterwards I wouldn't put a plunger in the sink.
  
  Yeah seriously that's gross as fuck. I wouldn't even want to use a garage sink to rinse a plunger. It's just too nasty for me. It gets rinsed outside with the hose.
- It's to reduce the chance of it cracking as rubber gets brittle at lower temps; especially a shit batch of cheap dollar-store rubber. If it cracks it's useless.

You will never clog a toilet if you get a bidet. Putting tons of TP in is how you get clogs.
- You don't have to use that much tp regardless of the bidet, and not use "flushable" wipes

I've never had a problem starting on step 4 and repeating a few times.

What about the poop knife?
- Just one step. Superior really. Plus is that corn I see?

DO NOT use hot water to help unlog a toilet. I've had the porcelain crack from the heat, had to replace the toilet entirely. Lesson learned.
- Doesn't "hot water" refer to what you can get out of the faucet, so like 60 °C (140 °F), not boiling water?
- My kid flushed a rubber ball down the toilet before - it was exactly the right size and squishyness to get stuck. After trying many things, I was able to get it out by removing the toilet and pouring in boiling water - it softened the ball enough for it to be flushed out.
  It sounds like I got lucky. It was a warm day iirc - maybe that helped with the thermal stress.
  
  Similar issue, my wife knocked the kids rubber ducky into the toilet well flushing it. A complicated maneuver because she hit it with her elbow knocking the ducky off the top of the tank exactly as she hit flush. Had to auger it to the bottom of the toilet and than unbolt it from the floor and yank it out from the bottom hole because it wouldn't go past the lip where the toilet met the drain. Honestly probably better it didn't go into the pipes and get jammed somewhere else I suppose.
  Guess I did all the way up to step 7?
  And, yes I remind her of this folly regularly.

Real men just reach in there and pull the blockage out.
- That's gay.
- I thought the first image in the thumbnail was flicking the turd!
  
  Is that like flicking the bean?
- Or use a straw...

Yikes. What are you flushing down your toilet that you need a auger to unclog it?
- This is for Americans. Many of them are dumb enough to flush wet wipes.
  
  Canadian here, recently had to get the toilet auger out because no one else in my house seems to understand you can’t flush wipes, no matter how much I tell them
- Non flushable wipes, tampons, cigarettes, and paper towels
- If it's the average western diet, it's probably from the massive amount of toilet paper that was used to clean the asshole after their failure to use a bidet.
- I know someone whose constipation leads to far too solid of logs that get stuck in the bends if they don't use a large amount of fiber supplements (no matter what they eat).

There is always the possibility the clog isn't in the toilet itself but further down the drain. You can test this by running faucets and seeing if the sinks drain properly
- Yeah, I recently learned that if you use a plunger when the clog is down the drain pipe, then it can blow the wax seal on the toilet, leading to bigger problems later

A cheap method to unblock anything:
Remove any loose material.
Now pour 30 gallons of jet fuel in the area.
Ignite it but stand back at least a few feet.

Step 1 sounds funny to me. I would think it's turn the water off, not remove top tank.
- Top of the tank, as in the lid, so you can close the flapper and prevent the bowl from overflowing.
  
  Why wouldn’t it close normally like it always does? There’s no issue with the reservoir here.
  
  Lol, I can read, 🤦‍♂️

Step four, you want to pull the fluid column up to unstick the trash, so go slow ‘down’ and somewhat more forceful on the ‘up’.

My plumber told me never to use a plunger in a toilet, and to use a snake instead. The back-and-forth motion from using the plunger can damage the wax seal and cause a leak.

How does the hot water and soap help?
- It won’t taste as bad when it splashes back into your mouth.
- I'm guessing it's to break down the fat / grease in the poop.
  The hot water will speed up the reaction, with the added benefit of possibly expanding the pipe just enough to make a difference.
  Just a guess, though!
- I've had success with just dish soap - it makes blockages "slide" more easily.
  In the last flatshare I lived, I had a particularly annoying combination of a slow toilet and a flatmate incapable of solving any blockages. Whenever I'd see that, I'd go "fuck this", squirt a silly amount of Fairy in the bowl (I'm talking like 100 ml at least) and usually the blockage would resolve itself overnight.

Literally all i have to do is use the toilet brush and freneticly plunge it. Works every time.
- I can smell this post

Step 7: Just call a plumber XD