Dutch is beautiful

Dutch is not a language. The people who "speak" it are Germans who suffered severe head injuries. The place we call "the Netherlands" is a German hospital colony where those unfortunate people can live while they recover. That's why it's flat and everyone walks or rides bicycles; their head injuries make them unfit to drive cars or to manage difficult terrain.

/s, please don't send the actual Dutch after me.

Het is te laat, je hebt de Nederlanders opgeroepen, makker. Bereid je voor op k o l o n i s a t i e.
- Do you implement your healthcare system in your colonies? Also how likely are the colonizers to marry the locals and produce tall offspring?
  Asking for a friend.
- How does "opgeroepen" translate to "summoned"??? It's clearly "aufgerufen" - i.e. "invoked". Smh my head.
I am Belgian and live close to the border, I know plenty of them.
Whatever they are they are not german.
They have a soul, sometimes smile and have humor.
And definite proof is that when one comes into the same room as you the temperature doesn't drop significantly, also there is no detectable smell of sulfer.
Definitely not german.
- Toffe gebruikersnaam hebt ge daar menne man
The Dutch are simply swamp Germans, best left to their own ways. Much like the mountain Germans you find between Bavaria and Italy.
This makes an incredible amount of sense so I can’t imagine the Dutch understanding what you’ve written.
Time to find out if I can ban fellow admins.
- Trump v Musk reenactment!
New theory: the reason the Hogeweyk concept was effectively implemented in The Netherlands is because the entire country is that concept.

"We apologize again for the dutch in the sign. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked."

A mööse once bit my sister.
- But the moose got better?
To shreds, you say?

this is obviously a joke but it contains more dutch than people unfamiliar with the language might guess.

here is google's translation of a verbatim transcription of the image:

oopsie woopsie! the train is a piece of shit!
we are working really hard to make this maybe you can fwietsen better owo

Maybe a Dutch speaker will comment here and tell us how many of the words in the image are actual Dutch words? I suspect google is probably providing plausible translations for some that aren't really.

It's more like : oopsie woopsie! The train has broken down. We're trying very hard to fix it. Maybe you'd better take a bike (or "bwike")
- I assume "oopsie woopsie " is not a typical phrase in the Netherlands, and it's like Ned Flanders from The Simpsons saying "whoospie doodle"?
Flemish person here, lemmy do an attempt to translate preserving the infantile language:
Oopsy woopsy! the train is broky woky! We aww wowking vewwy hawd to fwix it. Mby you should bike instead owo
It’s not correct Dutch, but the best translation is: whoopsy whoops! The train is broken! We are working very hard to fix this. Maybe you would be better of biking. owo
- to add back the owo stuff:
  Oopsie whoopsie, the train is brokie wokie! We are working vuhry hard to fix this. Maybe you would be better of bwiking. owo.
The English translation of 'stukkie wukkie' would surely be the train is 'stuck'?
I'm not a Dane though so could be wrong.
- It relates to stuk, which means broken in this context. It can also mean a piece. You could read it as (broken) into pieces.
- The English translation of ‘stukkie wukkie’ would surely be the train is ‘stuck’?
  Google translates "stukkie wukkie" as "piece of shit" or "wonky", depending on other nearby words, and "stukkie" as "broken". but neither of these words is in a dutch dictionary afaict. And google doesn't translate anything i tried to those words.
  I’m not a Dane though so could be wrong.
  Dutch is the language (and demonym) of the Netherlands.
  Dane is the demonym for people from Denmark, where they speak the Danish language.
They are better because googol translate sucks. Stop using that garbage.

Why can I read this? I dont speak Dutch

Because Dutch is the blackout drunk bastard child of German and English. So knowing either or both of those languages helps a lot.
- I actually described how dutch sounded to me to some dutch friends. I said something like, "Dutch sounds like if a German got drunk, tried learning English, and then started choking."
  They told me that wasn't far off 😂

Is this a real photo?

ja hoor!

Dutch porn be like: Oh no stepbro, Im stukkie wukkie!

Binty Blease, y u ride babby traen?

Dutch language could be what English went thru to become what it is today. Maybe in a thousand years it would converge

They’re not Dutch but this sounds suspiciously like a mournful nightwish song the name of which I cannot recall

Viktor Zhjarnek

zhj

UwU

It's like the dutch sent someone to England to learn from their literary Shakespearean prowess, but the guy forgot half of what he has learnt on his way back to Holland.