Mike Johnson: God Chose Me To Be America's "Moses" - Joe.My.God.

"When you talk to god, that's prayer. When god talks to you that's schizophrenia."

In a more rational time, he’d be diagnosed with delusional psychosis and locked in a mental asylum. Today, he speaker of the House of Representatives.

LITERAL blasphemy. Like actual, textbook blasphemy. And his sycophants lap it up.

These people literally listen to the voice in their brain, the one we all have, and tell themselves it's god.

I grew up as a southern Baptist. I suffered physical, sexual and emotional abuse the entire time I was there as a child. Getting out was like escaping a cult. Southern Baptists are abusive, extremist psychos.

That dude is terrifying

“Sometimes when I want to do something, I get really quiet, and in the stillness, I hear that voice inside of me that always says ‘Do whatever you want. It’s always justified.’”

Hate to break it You ya bud, but god didn't choose you. A bunch of corrupt cronies picked you to be their leader and scapegoat in an attempt to turn America into a theocratic dictatorship.

It's interesting that these people God talks to like this are only ever told they've been chosen. I never hear someone saying, "Well, God spoke to me last night. It turns out I should just chill the fuck out and mind my own business."

Take the religious pretext away from this statement and you have textbook mental illness. Dude is on stage in front of all of our elected representatives saying he's listening to the voices inside his head and they are guiding his actions.

The man is mentally ill.

Yes Mr. Johnson, it's called the inner monolog, and we all have it. Yours doesn't make you special because it says so.

Or it might if you don't recognize it as yours and it starts telling you delusional things, such as being a prophet.

Random question: How come God always agrees with these loons in whatever kooky-ass shit they pray to Him about? Why does he never respond, "Lol, no, that's dumb."?

Why can't others do this without being ostracized?

Why don't we all just... "I think we should invade Afghanistan because that's what Link would do -- I mean Saddam is basically Ganondorf!"

We should all be able to have the childlike privilege of using cartoon characters as rhetorical devices in adult conversations.

Let’s crucify him and he can truly be a symbol for The Lord

Cool how about you and all your followers go wander around in the desert for 40 years.

“I had this sense that we were going to come to a Red Sea moment in our Republican conference and in the county at large. God had been speaking to me about this, and the Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready.

When God parted the Red Sea, he allowed Moses and the Isrealites to cross, and he subsequently folded over the waters and killed everyone else present. This man believes this is an apt metaphor for what is about to happen in America.

The religious aspect is utter bullshit, of course. I'd like to think the on-the-ground reality won't match up with his fantasy either. Sure hope everyone watching this jackass is taking notes.

This is why my personal opinion about religion is the same as my opinion about paranoid schizophrenia, the only difference being that religion is a trained behaviour. Fuck all parents who willingly expose children to brainwashing.

The arrogance of this dude.

Barry fucking Goldwater knew these kinds of people were trying to take over his party, and he for sure wasn't a Democrat.

"Frankly these people frighten me. Politics demands compromise. These people believe they're acting in the name of God, so they can't and won't compromise. I know, I've tried dealing with them.".

jesus...

I'm so sorry americans

You can never trust a zealot.

Especially one from a nigh-suicidal death-cult that's hell-bent on speeding up their version of apocalypse...

Fuckin YIKES he's like a villain from an A24 movie. The Main Character Syndrome vibes are spiking through the roof

What exactly does he mean by being Moses and America's "red sea moment?" Are the liberals, FBI, and the people prosecuting Trump the Egyptians? So, Johnson has been chosen to lead Republicans to safety, and kill the liberals, FBI, and prosecutors?

I’ll tell you a secret, since media is not here.

As reported by the media.

This moron is terrifying.

Knew a church teacher who said "the gays aren't here so I can tell you something they won't like, they aren't going to heaven" (said in front of my gay but religious ex boyfriend xD)

Always assume your comments in a group are made with at least one person you're othering.

I grew up in a southern Baptist home and it amazes me how this script is always used to justify a change. Almost verbatim, all my life I’ve heard this same script. God spoke in a prayer. God said big plans. God said wait and prepare. God said go.

Nothing bad has ever happened under a leader who thinks he was appointed by a god. /s

Does this guy not get that this type of extreme fundamentalism is a turn off to most Americans? I mean, I would never vote republican in a thousand years but this has got to be pushing some of the more sane fence sitters away, right?

When you style yourself a modern-day Moses - but in reality you're more like one of the possessed pigs Jesus drowned in the sea.

God Chose Me To Be America's "Moses"

I choose him to be under a butterfly net.

Christian here. That's not how it works. America is not God's chosen nation, and you are not God's chosen leader. You are a little man with delusions of grandeur, trying to use your meager understanding of religion to pull the wool over the eyes of other Christians.

I'm not fooled. And there are a lot more like me who aren't fooled, either.

I sometimes hear a voice telling my heart that I'll become Iron Man, but to wait. So, I'm waiting.

Permanently Deleted

"When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression." - H. L. Mencken

god didn't choose you and republicans only did after everyone else bombed out you delusional monster

Fuck this imbecile.

This moron probably believes in Santa in addition to sky daddy. Complete waste of skin.

Maybe the voices will have him set fire to George W. Bush and then have a long walk into the Red Sea.

He's going to part the red sea of republicans?

So he says god spoke to him...

Can we throw him into an insane asylum now? We actually let someone as insane as him in public office? Dude is off his fucking rocker.

cmon america you can do better

Well that's literally blasphemy so we can rest easy knowing that he's going to hell.

I'd hate for this to be true. Anyone have a better source? I only looked for one in the article for like 3 seconds and didn't see one, but maybe it's there.

Or is "JoeMyGod" a legit news site I've never heard of lol

No, Johnson! You get Jesus. You don't get to take Moses also! We Jews had him first. Go talk about how god told you to be like Jesus instead.

Then again, if you really want to be like Moses, gather the conservatives together and go wander in the desert for 40 years so that the rest of us can run this country without your interference. (Yes, the Moses allegory fell apart at the end, but conservatives in America aren't like Israelite slaves in ancient Egypt.)

I wonder what he means by this. You know he's never read a bible in his life. What does he think Moses represents to the average American?

I wonder if the stuff he obviously smoked is legal anywhere...

This is delusional ...

Crazy religious people seem to often think that any intuition or sudden insight they have is God speaking to them. I think it's one of the big reasons they seem to always think God wants them to do exactly what they already wanted anyway.

Pretty sure Moses wasn't the one in charge of Egypt in Exodus.

Maybe he should stop reading his weekly report about his son's masturbation habits and open a Bible.

Great, we have an untreated schizophrenic 2nd in line to the Presidency.

Since US doesn’t have the Red Sea, I vote he walks into the Salton Sea to see if it parts for him

Wow. That is so over the top and makes him so full of himself.

There's a very fine line between devotion and straight up mental illness. I don't want anyone who is hearing voices in a position of power over me, I want them in treatment.

Mike Johnson is Mike Pence's unpolished, unrestricted Id.

Well, which "god" did this? Also, in a secular country, what this guy says his supposed "god" did doesn't matter (probably the Abrahamic god Jehovah/Allah/Yahweh that all these provincial xtian fucksticks always just call upper-case God as if their god was the only one ever in the mythologies of mankind). Not in the slightest. He can fuck right off with that kind of nonsense.

Sounds like he’s been burning too much bush

So he wants us to wander in the desert for 40 years?

He's trying to pretend he's all humble, but it is really just pride and greed that motivates him.

It's as if it hasn't occurred to him that he's an NPC

That's all we need is a fucking cultist two heartbeats away from running the country.

"I would like to be a cult leader now" -Mike Johnson

Yup. The man is wackier than taffy. Someone get a straight jacket and white padded room we got incoming.

Boy all these red flags sure are not alarming

What’s the old saw? “If you talk to God, you’re faithful. If God talks to you, you’re crazy.”

A bunch of dysfunctional shitheads put you in that position because they were running out of options.

Separation of Church and State? HA! Total myth.

Ew

i'll believe it when i see him do the ascend directly into heaven bit

Get this assclown tf outta here asap.

Dang I thought the lead poisoning was only for the older boomers.

And this is what insanity.

Soo... how can we advise his constituents to question his leadership? If someone like that represented the state I lived in I would be spending every waking moment letting them know I do not approve.

He's insane.