The 2024 US Presidential race officially starts Monday, what are your predictions for Iowa?

I predict nothing good for the American people.

Instant death or continue the slow descent. I, of course, will be voting for slow descent but what the fuck ever. This country is fucked this planet is fucked let's just get high and play video games while we still have electricity.
- It's the same argument against the death penalty: you can stop imprisonment/slow descent and turn it around. You can never come back from death/fascism.
- Or we could have some standards and only vote for actual good candidates. If there aren't any, don't settle for the lesser evil, demand better!
OR America's hat!
- North America's hat, the arctic ice cap?

I predict that Europeans will look upon the drawn-out and comedic campaign with smug disdain and self-satisfaction... and proceed to explain away their own increased support for right-wing nationalism and fascism. One day, we will all wake up and realize that we dun goofed but it's too late.

Hey, don’t forget about Canada!
- Canadans are honorary Europeans
- Our mainstream Conservative Party, the CPC is further left than the US’s democrats.
  
  The PPC which is harder right is a joke and Maxime Bernier, the leader, lost his seat last election.
  
  Canada’s not perfect but I don’t know what you’re on about.

More than one trump supporter will die in a snow drift.

Trump will win Iowa, but lose the nomination to Haley (as his legal peril grows), who will lose to Biden.

Trump supporters will react violently to the loss and eventual conviction of Trump in multiple spasms of bloodshed.

They too will end up in prison, alongside J6 convicts.

The rich still won't be taxed, and the climate will continue to warm and destabilize.

The sea will become too warm to support normal ocean currents like the gulf stream, destabilizing the entire food chain as aquaculture collapses.

Someone will invent a new kind of food called a quantum chalupa, and it will be glorious.

HP will increase prices for ink.

Someone will invent a new kind of food called a quantum chalupa, and it will be glorious

Surely it's commonly called a qualupa
- only when measured in qualupa bits
It's fucked up that this is the best case scenario
It's made of people!!!!

Kinda wishing I could just go into a coma for the next 11 months ngl

why not forever? /lh
- Yeah don't wake me up until after WWIII, but early enough that I can still witness the invention of warp drive and first contact with the Vulcans. #bozeman2063 hell yeah baby

Trump will win the nomination. But he will have to campaign from prison for the general. And will lose.

He’ll win the nomination but the Supreme Court will say he’s a free man, for whatever bullshit reason.
- Then Joe Biden can order Seal Team 6 to assassinate Trump....then the Supreme Court!
  
  Uno reverse.
I think there’s a good chance he won’t make it on enough state ballots to have a chance to win.
- You only need 12 states
  
  https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/pqzria/all_you_need_is_12_the_fewest_number_of_states/

That it’ll remain a hellhole devoid of intelligent life

A shitshow

I predict nonsense

!remindme idk a couple of months?

Riots and mass hysteria, also extreme tax fraud

Dogs sleeping with cats!

Thanks for reminding me to set up some extra filters to block out all the hyperventilating yank headlines.

Haha I had already done so but I have added “presidential” to the list.

If you’re looking for something that largely does the job: Trump Biden Presidential Electoral Caucus

NO NO NO NO NO

The old demented dude is going to win

No, the old demented dude is going to lose
- Not sure I get your joke. Or were you being serious.
  
  The joke is either way no matter who wins it will be an old demented dude.

A shitshow and riots

Trump will win. Trump will win. And every human on the planet not named Drumpf will lose.

Edit: and animal