Elon

"Pretty pretty pretty not good"

With all due respect to the kink, this is the most cucked person ever.

Cybercuck
I think this guy's spouse is the most cucked person ever.
- Damn you are right, they are the perfect cuckple
Plot twist: the car was railing his wife, but then felt guilty and decided to commit the unthinkable....
:larry-david:

Imagine being that guys wife and every night you have to hear "I DMd Elon again, dear. If he finally responds are you sure you're down with it?" And like, no, of course she doesn't want to have sex with Elon Musk while her husband takes care of their toddler in the other room but, like, of course Musk's not going to respond to Twitter DMs about that so she just says yes knowing she'll never have to do it but just having to put up with her husband asking about it on a nightly basis is really getting to her so she, like, tries to sabotage the family Cybertruck and just take everyone out and blame Elon for it, like, killing her husband and bankrupting his idol in one swoop.

This really is the hypothesis with the least assumptions
LMAO what if every vehicle is perfectly fine but then gets sabotaged by a deeply irritated spouse or partner?
- Some engineer's spouse fucking with their CAD files so the body panels won't line up

you-are-a-serf M'LORDDDDDDDDD

M'lord, I - I hate to trouble you too much but do you think there may be something wrong with your new vehicles? I don't want to seem rude, but the steering wheel came off while driving down the highway with my family inside and I believe one of the tires went sailing over a hill.

This guy’s poor wife

Wait, catastrophic steering failure? Like the same exact shit the Tesla was doing when it first came out?

It's extra absurd since this isn't even EV specific parts. Suspension and steering bits that dont experience rapid unscheduled disassembly have existed for decades.

Tesla's market cap is more than the whole rest of the car industry combined or whatever and they can't figure out the part that real car companies have had licked for like a hundred years

love to live in a fake-ass economy
- Look at crypto, 2.5 trillion dollars. So much money floating around doing absolutely nothing.
"catastrophic failure" could mean a few things, my first assumption was that the controls stopped functioning because instead of being directly connected to the steering/brakes they run through software.

Look at all these emperors with no clothes.

I still have to laugh at how awful the design is. Even the regulars on r/wallstreetbets were making fun of it and so far that is the only time that I have agreed with them on anything. It looked like it was ripped out of an early N64 release!

It really is wild how consistent they are when assuring us they love their tesla as it shits the bed.

I do have an element of understanding though, I had a car I loved which spontaneously died. The cause was so weird and predicatble (in hindsight) that I just bought another one once I got the insurance money.

Ned Flanders swearing