This is the truth. Focus on yourself for now. Learn things, get good at stuff, advance your career, understand different perspectives, cook and eat healthy food that tastes good. Be somebody you really want to spend time with. A significant chunk of this is just you being confident and comfortable in who you are. Then people (including women) will be interested in spending time with you.
It helps to not be broke or ugly, but dressing well and washing yourself and smelling pleasant can get you pretty far.
You do understand that everything you said and the sentence "be comfortable with who you are" are a contradiction, right? Fulfilling all the other stuff you mentioned will take massive amounts of energy of you're not the type who does them naturally, trapping you in a cycle of "still not good enough". Vigorous self-improvement is quickly becoming the "high performer" equivalent to bulimia: a form of utter self-hatred expressed as pseudo-beneficial behavior that actually does way more harm than good.
Truth is: love is chance. You might be able to increase the odds somewhat, but in the end, none of us can really control if we.end up meeting someone we will be able to spend our lives with. Trying to constantly be different tha you'd be naturally (trying to be the career guy with hobbies sports and eating healthy, while deep down you are a lazy ass couch potato) will increase your chances of meeting someone, bit I'd argue it will not increase your chances of being happy with someone. Or being happy with yourself for that matter.
Turns out you kind of have to meet girls for this to have a chance to happen, and what with the global loneliness epidemic and lack of places and reasons to meet new people, that ain't happening.
The fucking worst people to talk to about romance are people that found their "soul mate" with little to no effort on their part. They're so convinced that its the easiest thing in the world to just go out and find the one because they never felt rejection more than once or twice.
No John, the dating app you used to meet your wife doesn't work anymore, its designed specifically to make us spend money forever.