The Cybertruck Heads to War With Militarized Upgrades
The Cybertruck Heads to War With Militarized Upgrades
A company is offering to up-armor Cybertrucks and Chechnya's dictator rolled a machine-gun armed Cybertruck through the streets of his country's capital.
Ramzan Kadyrov, the brutal dictator of Chechnya and prominent Putin ally, has invited Elon Musk to visit him in Grozny. Kadyrov wrote the invitation in a Telegram post where he praised the Cybertruck below a video of him driving the stainless steel monstrosity around Chechen city streets.
Kadyrov smiled like a child while driving the Cybertruck. “We received a Tesla Cybertruck from the respected Elon Musk,” the post said. “I was pleased to test the new technology and was personally convinced that it is called the ‘Cyberbeast’. A real invulnerable and fast animal.”
The bed of the Cybertruck was open and someone had mounted a Russian PK machine gun in the bed. Kadyrov said the car was a dream to drive and that they may soon send it to his soldiers. “I express my sincere gratitude to Elon Musk! He is, of course, the strongest genius of our time…a great man!” He said on Telegram.
To be fair, Tesla autopilot does a decent job killing people in civilian applications so this feels like a natural move.
The richest asshole in the world tweeted:
Are you seriously so retarded that you think I donated a Cybertruck to a Russian general?
🧐
That choice of word is weird. Did he mean that he sold the cybertruck to the Chechen war criminal?
Btw, dear war criminal, hurry up and go to do the "special military operation" with that death trap
Do you seriously think I am so retarded that I donated a Cybertruck to a Russian general?
FTFE
And the answer of course is yes
I mean, a person with a mental disability probably won't do something like this. A narcissistic billionaire who strongly overestimates his cognitive abilities on the other hand absolutely would.
Like "do you think I'm that stupid to give away $100k?? Of course he paid, and of course he paid an extra fee"
Well isn't he going to be surprised when he finds out just how ineffective it is against gunfire.
It's not even especially effective against baseballs.
I mean.....that wasn't a baseball. It was a steel ball.
That said, it's a stupid vehicle that is stupidly designed.
Per the Tesla patent, they took the approach of laminating dissimilarly toughened layers with a special adhesive. Unlike actual ballistic glass using a polycarbonate/polymer layer in the stack, Tesla’s 100% glass and glue is just better than tempered:
…at most a 10% chance of failure with an impact of 2 J.
However this glass type is rejected on the side and rear windows by everyone else, because it slows emergency rescue efforts - laminated windshield glass is difficult enough when no other rescue path is available.
Yes but how will it handle rain?
I'd be more curious to see if it could survive an Iraqi sandstorm because my bet is... absolutely not.
"and then there's a shark coming his way"!
Poorly.
I'm so glad that this guy's cat ran away from him.
I'm in favor of dictators worldwide standardizing on the cybertruck thanks. It'll be easy to disable all of them with a garden hose or a baseball.
HIMARS:
lolwut
The Cybertruck being used to quash freedom. Musk would have been Hitler's right hand man.
The Henry Ford of our time (except for Elon not having the mechanical skills I guess). Musk probably would take that as a compliment, but I mean it as an insult
https://youtu.be/-isSZhkAVKA?si=w_5mhFC79DJckXZ9
Better hope it only has to go on the paved streets.
Kadyrov’s goons have an image of being fearsome warriors, but their main talent is maintaining this carefully manicured image. Other than killing/torturing defenceless civilians and prisoners, they stay well away from the actual fighting and take selfies looking fierce with their shiny new not-at-all-battleworn equipment, to the point that people refer to them as the Instagram Corps. His glee at receiving this defective mall-ninja cosplay prop that barely copes with paved roads is on brand with this. If they keep it safely away from the front and have squads of conscripts keeping mud and bugs out of its moving parts, they can take turns scowling menacingly behind the machine gun like Immortan Joe’s War Boys, and if they persuade Putin of the propaganda value of the footage, it may save them from going to the front. At least until a Ukrainian drone finds their toy and torches it. If they make the mistake of riding their new steed into battle, they’re effectively dead meat.
Cannae fuckin wait for some despot to beef it because the cybertruck somehow killed them.
militarized upgrades
Extension cords that reach all the way back to HQ?
Just don't slam the door
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