I wouldn't say 'full'
It’s called a brojob and it’s totally straight if your eyes are closed
You should also wear socks just in case
I let you jerk me off, and you make fun of my tiny dick. Yeah sure, that seems fair
Sorry, I thought you were into that.
My hands are full of penis, and I’m already in heaven.
Imagine ejaculating out of all 10 of your handpenises simultaneously
that means womans have to get lesbians to avoid penises, got it
Depending. Women jack off a hell of a lot after you roll over
I like to help my lady after I finish. 🤌
So female masturbation is still sanctified. Got it. Let me just go ahead and close the door and turn on this white noise machine......
What if it's Jesus' penis?
The Lord is Come
Mark 9:13
Jesus replied, "Elijah does indeed come, and he will restore all things. But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but have done to him whatever they wished. In the same way, the Son of Man will suffer at their hands."
That would be great. You'll have 3 whole days to climb until he rises again.
They've apparently never met a one armed roofer.
Shout out to my cousin Randy!
This is why you take the elevator to heaven and just fucking jerk it all the way up.
crank that mf hog right up to the pearly gates
Who is gonna be below me? Nobody. Gonna wank it all the way up.
Yes! Release first. The stickiness will help.
What if you wanted to go to heaven
But god said "your hands are full of penis."
40 days and 40 nights in the desert with no food and you reckon Jesus didn't rub one out to lift his mood, yeah, OK
It’s obviously satire, but still, maybe it isn’t
https://stopmasturbationnow.org/weather/atmospheric-masturbatory-residue-at-unsafe-levels/
I should stop boiling my semen, they are beginning to notice
Refrain, or course, from masturbation and excessive handling of the sex organs. A two shake limit during urination is in effect.
I have a very very hard time believing that this is serious, but sadly I'm not fully convinced that it is not
Holy shit.
Should People Who Masturbate Be Allowed to Vote? 457 comments
But what if you occasionally take a break from climbing the ladder to heaven, with your hands full of penis?
Wait until the pedo priests head about this.
that's why you take the stairway to heaven!
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=QkF3oxziUI4&pp=ygUZc3RhaXdheSB0byBoZWF2ZW4geW91dHViZQ
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Well that website was fun lol.
You have to climb a ladder to get to heaven now?
Since when?
There is Jacob's ladder in the bible, a prophetic dream sequence with various interpretations.
Jacob's ladder the decorative body piercing is probably not what this meme had in mind, nor is it something you really wanna google at work for porn reasons, but it seems more fun to climb than their idea.
Even if you were a perfectly efficient ladder climbing robot, you still would not stand a chance climbing the ladder to heaven because of a little thing called specific impulse, which you woefully lack and this other little thing called heaven, hell and god aren't real they were invented by humans to give false hope to other humans and through that false hope control other humans and also get wrecked theists
I have pocket to put all my penises in, god can't stop me.
No American is gonna be able to climb that. So many fat people.
Of course not, helping priests climb to heaven is the altar boy's job.
It works for some women tho
