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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

1mo ago

Don't forget Big 3

72 comments

Phones in 2035 be like:
Fuck the Big 3, it's just me!
- You drop your phone. Your keys and wallet: Fool! You thought you could live without us!
  
  That's why I got the 2035 biist™ implant, you can't lose it!

This is less of a problem for me these days.
My phone is my primary source of audio content, so it’s easy to remember. I also have a smart / keypad lock, a digital wallet, a physical wallet that magnetically connects to my phone case, and my keys / phone have UWB trackers on them.
The world may be getting shittier, but we have top scientists and engineers working on the “I forgot my keys / wallet” problem.
- When I travel, I love places with digital keylocks and digital wallet.
  I felt real cyberpunk to use my phone to map how to get to my fancy hotel/Airbnb that unlocked automatically when I got near and wave my phone at the vending machine to get a soda and then order food through my phone.
  The part I panic about is constantly keeping my phone charged.
- Fuck the big three, it’s just big me
  
  when I talk about it
  \ it carries on
  \ reasons only knew
  
  breaks into my own home

Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch.
- Don't forget the flask of Scotch.
- I say this every morning, so I don’t forget my testicles when I leave the house.
- Nuns on the run

My phone NEVER leaves my side, that's not a big issue. And thankfully my wallet is 99% obsolete, as most of the cards are already in my phone, and the few that aren't fit in my flip case. Keys are another story, fuck keys! Bulky loud ass bullshit! I'd love a keychain that could live in my phone or have the format of a card.
My Renault car has a pretty neat card that auto locks and unlocks the car. I just keep it in my breast pocket (or backpack in the summer) and forget about it.
- There are electronic keys. NFC and the like. Better yet, if you have a smart watch it can act like a key.

I used this meme to get ready today but I messed up and accidentally left the house with keys, wallet, and Stalin
- Well, at least you’re gonna get shit done today. Try to steer clear the crimes against humanity, though…

Yeah, I thought this meant like UK was the keys to the allies getting a real foothold in Europe, America was the one providing the funding and Russia...
...is a cell phone?
I think I overthought this meme.
- Russia…
  …is a cell phone?
  The Soviets did invent them.
  
  Didn't some dude from Motorola do that?
  
  Cell phones were invented in America, weren't they?
- Russia is who you call. When you need them to come to war and bring 10 million of their closest friends.

View the keys, wallet, and cell phone as the necks connecting the bodies to the heads above.

I get uncomfortable when they're not in my pockets…

I have almost forgotten my Samsung Galaxy Note 7 on several occasions

As my great grandfather used to say: “specitacals, testicles, wallet and watch”

What do I need a wallet for? I can use my phone to pay everywhere nowadays.
- You never know when you might need bills or your ID, even in a state with contactless payments everywhere and a digital ID, it's better to have a backup.
  
  In the last 15 years, the only time I’ve ever used cash was to buy coke.
  That’s all it’s good for nowadays. Buying drugs.
- Maybe if turkey supported NFC better, plus going outside without an id card is never a great option
- I kind of like not religiously following digital payments. They’re governed by Visa and other payment companies, and some of the businesses near me have started feeling an increased squeeze from them. They sometimes appreciate cash payments.
- Just need a magnetic card holder on the back of my phone, for my driver license and registration. Even the car opens and starts with a card. And my home has a smart lock, which I can open from my phone. So keys are not needed either.
  
  And then that priceless moment when the battery dies.

Just remember WOWEE

Right pocket, right pocket, left pocket.
Why in that order? Because I used to keep my keys in me left pocket and wallet in my right (before the smartphone was a thing yeah I'm old), but once I got a smartphone I didn't want to damage the screen, so into the right pocket the keys went, and only the phone goes in the left pocket and nothing else so it won't get scratched.
- I'm the opposite for the same reasons. I just like the phone on the right since it's easier to reach with my main hand. Although, reaching across my body for keys can be awkward when carrying groceries and stuff

I’m free from keys. The car opens with my phone and my home has a keypad at the door.
- I still carry or hide a key in case a battery dies or something glitches out.
  
  Same, the physical keys are backups.

Glasses has entered chat
- I'm to the point I need to carry two pairs now, it's so frustrating.
- Ah, that's where I left them.

Knife, flashlight, lighter...
- American here.
  Also bottle water, AR-15, and a bible too.
- And cigars

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e9N6_Tj9u2U
- Came here for this. Sandler for the win.

My wallet has been replaced by earbuds as i can use my phone for payments, but like to listen to podcasts on the go.

EDC THREAD, SQUARE UP!
sound of 20 Glocks hitting a table
- i love edc stuff but i am always questioning myself on how tf those people carry everything without always thinking about the 20 things in their pockets
  
  My dumbass is always over here going
  ...but if their phone is on the table, what took the photo?
- I always laugh at people carrying 3 guns when they show their edc on YouTube. How many fucking enemies do you have? Are you such a big shot drug dealer you need that amount of protection? But you're just a fat old white guy with an office job... I don't get it. I carry a Leatherman because I love to have pliers and some tiny scissors. That's the only thing which could be used as a weapon I guess, but why would I, I'm never in a fight or dangerous situation. The more weapons you carry with you, the more dangerous every situation you make yourself.

i use PKW to remember!

There's a whole ass Comedy Bang! Bang! (tv) episode about exactly these items being forgotten.
- Not ringing a bell. Link? Title?
  
  You'll have to give me a few minutes to dig up what episode it was. I looked on Wikipedia earlier, but all the descriptions are too short.
  I just remember the wallet phone and keys getting scared by "security dog" Rocky (Scott's dog) and wandering into a closet full of old outdated software and phones.
  EDIT: Season 4, Episode 29: A$AP Rocky Wears a Black Button Up Jacket and Black Sneakers

I just carry a small sling bag I wear across my body that contains the big 3 + hand sanitizer. Although I usually keep my car fob in my pocket so the proximity detection works when I grab the door handle to automatically unlock it. It feels so much better to have almost nothing in your pockets once you get used to it.

Who needs a wallet these days. It's the big 2 now, just keys and phone.

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