Indiana Jones was named after the state Indiana, which was named after American Indians, which were named after India, which was named after the Indus River, which was named for the word for river...
...and River Phoenix played young Indian Jones in the third movie.
That's not a shower thought, that's shower research
This shower thought belongs in a museum!
That's the miracle of waterproof phones
True, it kind of turned into that.
You need to get this reviewed by a company of peers all of whom also need to do this in their showers
"We named the dog Indiana!"
Now if the phoenix had a link to someone named Jones we'd really have something here.
A Phoenix is reborn through fire.
A fire is also known as a blaze.
If you feel the need to "blaze up", one could say you are Jonesing.
We've cracked the code!
There was a dude in Seattle who went by Phoenix Jones. He fashioned himself a masked vigilante, roaming the streets saving people from muggings and assaults.
Turns out he was mostly just picking fights with drunk frat guys. And we're pretty sure he was dealing drugs and using the superhero facade to beat up his competition.
If that last part is true he's the dumbest drug dealer ever. He was on the news and giving interviews about being a vigilante.
“We called the dog Indiana!”
"Indiana was the dogs name."
There must be a way of compressing this so that the...
...punchline fits
I really tried! But it turns out I missed a step for him being named after the dog anyway...
"The only water in the forest is the river"
Meaning: "son of John"
So "Indiana Jones" can be translated as "River, son of John".
River...John...John the Baptist.
Indiana Jones was able to ride the sub because he was granted water powers by God as part of his quest to find the Ark!
In WWE in the early 2010s, there was a mexican wrestler named "Alberto Del Rio" which, if translated, would be "Albert of the river"
One day I started thinking about just how stupid that is. This guy is traveling the country in those days, going to NBA size arenas, and little 5 year old white kids are yelling at him in his native language "OF THE RIVER!!! OF THE RIVER!!!!". Not because the kids are being racist. The kids don't even know it means that. They're yelling it because that's his "name", and his boss is a racist who found it funny.
Then some years pass, find out he beats women, and no longer feel bad for him.
