Auto-Brewery Syndrome

Friend: “You should try these bagels.”
That guy: “Oh, no thanks, I have work in an hour.”
Friend: “Huh?”
- Bonus points if the bagel has poppy seeds.
- Shows up to a bring your own booze party with a baguette 🥖

This seems to be a lot like PGAD (persistent genital arousal disorder) in that the experience is not at all as pleasant as the name makes it seem, but rather an unending horror for those who suffer it.
- I got stuck with a boner for a whole night, it fucking sucked. I didn't even take anything. It just happened. It felt like someone was stabbing my taint.
  
  Holy shit, that sounds like priapism, and depending on the type, could cause loss of dick.
  Priapism Wiki

My ex had it and it's the reason we broke up. Being drunk all the time/at random and not aware is problematic to say the least.
- It's sad, because it's a disability, but I totally understand.
  
  For many it's a disability. For alcoholics it's a super power.

Rocks up to a party with a 12 pack of rolls
WHO'S READY TO GET FUCKED UP! WOOOOOOOOOO!
scoffs down roll*

I wonder if this guy has paperwork that explains his condition. Because it isn't widely known, I don't expect any cop would accept it as legitimate. What an unfortunate situation.
- I don't see why it would get you a free pass to drive drunk when you know what you have and know what you eat that causes it.
  
  Because there's very limited food choices if you don't have a lot of money. I agree, someone with this condition should not drive, but that doesn't mean life is livable in USA without a car. In many places, there is no public transport. This would essentially be a sentence of poverty.
  That said, I can afford to have this condition, I do take Uber when drunk, there's reasonable public transit where I live. I'm not trying to excuse drunk driving (I say this as a DUI guy twenty years ago). I'm saying that what you just said wouldn't make sense to some people because of restrictions they can't control. It's too bad our society doesn't care more about people to solve some / all of these problems.