Skip Navigation

Technology @lemmy.world

FlumPHP @programming.dev

1y ago

Neuralink implants brain chip in first human, Musk says

finance.yahoo.com

Neuralink implants brain chip in first human, Musk says

Technology @beehaw.org

FlumPHP @programming.dev

1y ago

Neuralink implants brain chip in first human, Musk says

finance.yahoo.com /news/neuralink-implants-brain-chip-first-231049603.html

71 comments

I don't care who makes it I'm not putting absolutely proprietary software in my brain
- What's the worst that could happen?
  Oh
  
  I don't understand owning a computer that you don't fully control but using prosthetics that can be remotely disabled? This is why we need true open source GPL brain implants.
- Yeah, like this is technology I've wanted since I was a kid, the stuff I wish people were talking about when they say VR, instead of screens you wear on your head and motion-detection controllers. Video games are a lot better when they are dynamic and current VR tech can't really do that yet.
  But that said, I'll die never experiencing that before trusting anything Elon Musk is involved with.
- What happens if your brain implant is like a phone, and stops getting updates after 2 or so years? That'd suck really bad.
  
  Then I'm jailbreaking my brain implant and installing Linux on it
- What if it's FOSS
  
  Then it wouldn't be absolutely proprietary

Why in the actual hell are we allowing Elon Musk of all people to put chips in people's brains?
- People are fucking morons
- There is no we. This country is run by capitalist sociopaths.
- C.R.E.A.M.
  
  Dolla Dolla bill y'all

Was there not some issues with the animal trials last year or am I misremembering?
- Nah, your implant should have deleted any record of that happening.
  
  Oh, and don’t worry about calling your lawyer about medical malpractice or anything; after all, we’ve disabled your speech center.
- https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/
- As in they all had to be euthanized in a very short amount of time, or something like that?

Didn't the animal tests lead to pretty bad deaths? And wasn't that less than a year ago? I can't imagine this going well.
Plus there was the blind-tech that was revealed not too long ago where now that they're bankrupt the group is slowly going blind and worse. I feel like none of this is going to end well.
- Lots of them, yes.

That poor bastard.
- Poor is probably what led to it
  
  In Elon’s eyes he’s still testing on animals.
  
  (insert Cave Johnson quote here)

Can't wait to have a stroke because someone put a cryptomining virus on my brainchip.
- playing Cyberpunk these days and there's a lot of that

God speed, guinea pig.

Install this proprietary app from Google Play or App Store on your Google Android or Apple iPhone certified device to access your stored memories.
- Oops, looks like we had a security flaw and some malware has removed all your memories!
  Sorry about that, we've given you free subscription to our Neuralink AI software for 1 year to make up for it.
- They can have my memories for like a $.99 app store credit.

at least the billionaire sub moron believed in his product enough to go down with it.
does this coward have the guts to use his own crap?
- If he hasn't gotten an implant when it moves beyond solving medical problems to being a consumer device that an everyday person would be able to buy, that'd be really telling.
  But until then that's not how it works. They need approval to do trials on very specific things, such as working with quadriplegics.
  We're probably decades away from non trials for only medical purposes.

Pump the stocks with buzzwords!

Mark of the least
- Oh you

Oh, that's why he's been behaving this way.

Well if musk said it...
I don't believe it.

I hope he himself has it in him. Based on his progressing psychosis it is in his head for some time now.

Watch. It will end up being Alec Baldwin.
Elon Musk saw the shitter episode of South Park, and was inspired by it. He hatched a plan. He needed a company working on brain computer interface technology, and Twitter to get renamed shitter. Nuerolink was easy to find, but Shitter was troublesome. He bought twitter, then in what only could be called by Elon Musk some sort of brilliance, thought he could tank the sites reputation so hard and give it a stupid brand that people would roll their eyes and switch to calling it "shitter."
Once that had taken place, he would be able to develop the technology, and finally release a platform that gave anyone the ability to publicly broadcast all their thoughts without a filter. And he would be loved for it

Oh you're wearing one of those neuralinks. Dont try any of that mind control on me.
😁 I'm so looking forward to use this quote in real life.

Why does clicking on this link bring up Google Play lol wtf

This is one of the worst ideas in capitalism..

Cyberpunk incoming

Musk wants to turn the planet into the same mindless drone he is himself.

I want this but with the capability of uploading fake memories. Like in the Arnold Chachanege where he gets fake memories. But without all the violence. I just wanna feel like a million bucks every day. Maybe I'll remember how I made sweet sweet love the night before or something awesome like that.
- How'd you like the woman in the red dress?
  
  What woman in the red dress...all I see is blondes and brunettes...
- How far is it from giving vision to blind people to making memories?
  At the very least being able to send a video and have the brain understand it is at least a first step?
  
  We'll get there one day. I'll recruit them some "volunteers" if they need!
  ....oh Mr Santos, it's a really cool implant, you should really try it.

71 comments