Economic issues hit Sesame Street, as Cookie Monster takes to social media to complain his favorite food is getting smaller.
"Me hate shrinkflation! Me cookies are getting smaller," the googly-eyed, furry blue muppet declared on X on Monday, tapping into an economic trend of the day. "Guess me going to have to eat double da cookies!"
Oscar the Grouch's living situation is basically aspirational now. "You can afford to live in a trash can all by yourself? Like, no roommates or anything? Wow!"
Have you never seen the inside of Oscar's trash can? That place is a palace. He's got an olympic size swimming pool in it. He also has an ice skating rink and a bowling alley.
Cookie Monster is onto something: OREO Double Stuf Chocolate Sandwich Cookies shrank by 6% in size by weight from January 2019 to October 2023, according to a report based on Labor Department numbers.
Double Stuffed Oreos are the new regular Oreos and regular Oreos are now 'go fuck yourself' sized.
And you'd think, with the democratization of fame, everyone would be famous, now. I mean, used to be if you wanted fame, you had to pack up and move from bumfuck nowhere and go to Hollywood, work as a waiter/waitress/whatever, and attend casting calls in your free time. Now, with the Internet and cameras that fit in our pockets we don't even need to leave our houses.
Makes sense. Biden was prattling on about shrinkflation a few weeks ago when he was trying to pretend he was looking out for the common person suffering from capitalism eating all their economic growth for decades.
It’s such an easy target to look like you care, without doing shit. Oh this cookie is 13% smaller? I’ll get right on that, ignore the 1300% corporate profit increase, the stagnant wage growth for 63 years, the CEO wages growing 9300% compared to workers, etc, etc.