Employee retention
Employee retention
31 comments
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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I apply for jobs on company time.
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Boss made a dollar
I made a dime,
That was a poem.
From a simpler time.Now boss makes a thousand.
And gives us a cent
While he's got employees.
Who can't pay the rent.So when boss makes a million.
And the workers make jack.
Then that's when we riot.
And take our lives back. -
In the US civil service the website used for applying for government jobs (USAjobs) is whitelisted and it's pretty commonplace to see people using it at work, on their work machines.
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Why stop there? Why don't we just load everyone with work?
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Even volunteers. Yup. The amount of colleges and hospitals and everything else you can think of looking for e.g. older retirees who are bored, or young teens who need experience or whatever, they'll take it all. Without paying them a cent. Then when they get enough of those, they start to cut back on the paid staff. The poor volunteers do not even realize that by "helping" they are putting people out of real jobs:-(. [Edit: which then continues that cycle where they have to beg for more help b/c they are in such "need" and won't someone think of the poor children, or the people undergoing cancer treatment or whatever - don't you want to... "help"?] Meanwhile the managers are seen walking around in expensive italian shoes...
Even the most non-profit activities can be weaponized to become a tool to make moar money, if only you are willing to do that to people! 🤮
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[Deleted - duplicate posting]
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Just use your phone lol
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Far too real.
I'm gonna find a way to share with as many colleagues as I can.
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Far too real.
A meeting - Ok
The boss asking a clear question - Unlikely
People actively brainstorming - Possible enough
The boss listening instead of just going with whatever he decided beforehand - Completely impossible
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Yes, the process is unrealistic for comedic effect.
I probably should have explicitly stated I meant the conclusion. Perhaps this is the boss's imagined thought process to reach that predefined conclusion that they announce at the end of the meeting.
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Let's also try mandating RTO while we're at it.
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Is there a community for funny comics? I need more humor in my life, not whatever this is.
edit: there is !humor@lemmy.world
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Not just here either
I swear every humor-based Lemmy community eventually becomes a "definitely not making strawmen to support my political views" bitchfest
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I get pretty legitimate and interesting offers sent to my work inbox.
Recruiters looking for people with my experience in the role dgaf lol they just want their bonus. One of these days I might just reply and see how far I can take it before someone of my end notices.....
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"Appreciate their work" is a pretty weak suggestion too...
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Oof, that's too real. I haven't experienced that but one of my friends is currently experiencing this lol
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That's not how you retain your top performers. You retain people all right, but your top performs ain't it.
Is this comic written by AI or someone who hasn't worked in a team in their life?
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I mean... That's the joke
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Is it? My last few weeks on lemmy make me doubt it.
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31 comments