Structured chaos is key
Like you build the jenga tower so that it falls down in the direction of doing the dishes.
For me, this might mean studying with the knowledge that when I get antsy and need to task switch, I can do the dishes instead. It feels like a weird form of circuit training
Or you start out with folding clothes, then start putting them away, get distracted by the dishes or cleaning up the bathroom, and start on that other chore. The key is to eventually get back to the original (easier said than done), but even if you didn't really get it done quickly, you often put yourself in the mindset of cleaning, which helps on its own.
I told my partner we had to stop scheduling our entire vacation bcz it was stressing me out.
Now we schedule one or two things in certain days and then do whatever we want, and I deal much better with that.
Are you me? My wife is planning things, then not telling me about it and it still feels spontaneous to me. Win win situation.
Oh. That's a fantastic idea!
Why do you have to personally attack me like that?
Just comes down to whether you want the prison to be external or internal
The more I read here , The more I am certain I have it and have it I bad.
I’m 50.
ADHD affects people of all ages.
And was often left undiagnosed in the past. I know I probably have it hard and somewhere on the autism spectrum. (My estranged father, sister and nephew all have been diagnosed at varying degrees/combinations). But I can't even get a appointment at my doctors office, there is never availability and I tend to stop trying after a few times until it bugs me again. It's like the system here is made to weed out people like me.
It's kind of nice to know why I felt/feel so inadequate. But it also hurt to know I will never feel normal. At 46 I feel so at a lost at a chance of a better future. I fucked it up so often, have no savings, have to work two jobs to barely get by (keep on doing bad financial decisions) etc... I always hope to win the lottery (I almost never play it) just to not have the stress of life catching up to me and going back on the streets.
I got diagnosed in my late thirties and went from an abject failure at life to making some pretty astounding changes.
I can’t take all the credit, I had quite a good support system to help me make the changes and I don’t think I’ll ever get over what I perceive as lost time or be fully happy, but it’s never too late.
I thought I had ADHD for a long while, partly due to communities like this, but when I went to get diagnosed, it turned out to be an anxiety disorder. So if/when you go, try to avoid letting your assumptions bias the results.
I already have an anxiety diagnosis ! So it’s more likely that. Seems like some symptoms overlap
Same, friend. 45 here.
When you really think about it, chaos is the natural
ordertendency of the universe, entropy and all that. Ergo, order is against nature.Chaos is the natural state, but life is part of the universe and life brings order. As long as there is energy for life to use to do its work, it will continue to bring order to an unordered universe.
Yep. This is me
I was having a similar conversation to this many years ago with a friend. I summed it up as "I must have inconsistency, else I get stuck in monotony."
[x] I'm in this picture and I don't like it
Jokes on you, I have structure and still do nothing for days.
o man this hurts.
So how do you fix this?
You try your best to make it feel like one of those luxurious Norwegian prisons.
I've had good results managing it by planning my week very loosely: I write down 1-3 things I plan to do each day (including work, exercise, cleaning, leisure, seeing friends, appointments) and it's just enough structure to keep me moving without being stifling.
Be autistic as well and give in to the autistic need for structure and routines.
Go to the wilderness and put yourself in a survival situation. There is no structure but if you don't do something then you will die.
