I had my care team meeting today. I think it went pretty well. It was fun watching the shitshow of blame games, as well as the external people who just seemed shocked this happened at all. It looks like my org will reimburse me for the security camera and door alarms though, so that's useful. It didn't actually cross my mind that I could probably either make them buy it, or to just reimburse me for it later. One of my support people in the meeting was just like "so let me get this straight: you purchased cameras and alarms to keep yourself safe, with your own money, even though it's their fault you have to worry about your safety in the first place?"
From tonight there's no more overnight workers which means I'm on my own again. I'm not feeling unsafe or scared anymore, I feel like even if he does come back, I can handle it. But after thinking on it more, I don't think he's the type who would come back. I mean, he broke into my room while I was away and only did it before he moved out, even though it's probably a logical fallacy on my part, that kind of just seems like cowardice. Plus, if he was planning on coming back, he probably would've by now
I could wear make-up and curl my hair,
Commence my glow-up and start to care,
I'd colour myself amongst the rainbow,
But what for and why? I don't know.I want to be pretty like the girls on the net,
But I feel quite petty when my eyes set
Upon my face and the way it exists.
But what for and why? It just is.Is it the web that makes me feel so bad?
All the cute girls on the street, I feel so sad.
I'm sure if I tried, I'd look like a queen,
But what for and why, so I could be seen?I don't crave attention, I'll promise you that,
I like staying home with my coffee and cat,
Should I do it for me, and try to be pretty?
But what for and why? Now I sound petty.Back to it.... Lunchnotes - theme by kidcalhoon2
I'm gonna go find some lamb shanks and if I don't find them Ima gonna chuck a mini tantrum in the meat department of Coles.
Woke up to 6, got ready for work only to realise it's Monday and not Tuesday (my in office day). About to have a serious midday nap
The garden is loving this rain. I am not. Just saying.
Anti-Sads - obtained! Papers - obtained! Milk - obtained! Coffee from Mokum - obtained!!
Every nerve is fried. My heart is beating so fast, and the nerves in my neck twinge. I teleport around the apartment, quantum, fleeting. Electricity courses through my body in waves.
SNRI withdrawal is wild. 3/10, do not recommend. (A 3, because sometimes it feels like my brain is in freefall and it's almost pleasant).
I'll be fine, I have the meds now. The woes of executive dysfunction and supporting a local pharmacy that closes on Sundays. 🤦♀️
My one last morning volunteer shift is tomorrow, so up at 4am, off at 6am, start at 8am, finish at 12pm, should be home by 2ish-pm. Rest. Cleanup Wednesday in prep for MIL visit from Perth. Then TAFE on Thursday and Friday.
This turned into a ramble. Enjoy lol
woke up at one point last night on my side, knees at a 90 degree angle with a pillow in between, feet resting on the spaces between the ball and heels and fingers interlocked. Ontop of this rain was pelting the brick wall behind my head and I have to say it was the most comfortable I've been in a LONG time.
My daily rant as an old person.
Using the words Processing and Unpacking when speaking or writing of thoughts.
I truly dislike these words because it turns people into machines, into objects. It's how a psychopath wants you to think about yourself and events. They want to define how you think and feel.
People reflect on events and feel emotions, they don't process. When you use the wrong word/idea you distance yourself from who you are.
People think about their lives and events, they may or may not think in an analytical way, they don't unpack. I unpack my groceries and when I do I'm not analysing what they are, how and why I bought them, the origin of the groceries, I'm not trying to make a narrative that makes sense, I'm not relating my groceries to other groceries. I'm just picking them up and putting them away.
w000 first of two distills done on the sugar wash. Using up the last of my kits...took a gamble on dried yeast that expired in 2021 and was not kept in a controlled environment in any way, shape nor form and it's popped up at a respectable 50% after stripping run. A smish of soda ash, a dash of water, back into the still and then I begin the cuts
the heating is off to save some power whilst its just me home but maaaaan am I not loving that! works also doing my head in. Just told my boss "You cant say X is in charge of Y, but keep giving me Y to do and not giving me the remuneration that matches that" It wasn't even 11am before I had all the stress back that I'd worked off on the weekend. At some point I'm gonna go "Why am I working here again?"
It’s bin night and there are only 2 other bins out on street. Normally 8pm would have you last bin out by a mile!
Lips getting a bit too dry for the chapstick to handle so I bought a clear lip gloss… however turns out it’s coconut scented 🤢 The scent is also lowkey burning my lips.
I give up man, all the beauty products seem to stink and hurt. I’d use coconut oil/vaseline/pawpaw but don’t want to be sticking my fingers into pots and touching my mouth. (The cat also loves pawpaw ointment and would try to lick it off)
Just playing some vintage LPs I got last week, one is an album of movie music by Alfred Newman ( Randy Newman's father ) and bless me but the album starts with the fanfare of 20th Century Fox, it appears Newman wrote it!! I was not expecting to hear that .
The album also has a booklet with "movie stills", I like the one of swashbuckling pirate Tyrone Power. 😹
Anti-gratitude thread.
First world problem. Phone is out of storage, and trying to put photos onto laptop to put onto external hard drive (laptop only has one USB-A port). It's making the laptop very slow, so can't do much else on it for the next eleven hours apparently, or unplug my phone. First it said an hour and twenty, now it says 11 hours.
They had a replay of the world cup final, but with men's teams (it was only the Euros). England lost to Spain again and I am very happy!
