I've been seeing that cute fluffy cat from may around on the camera feed a lot. It seems to visit us a lot, I'm not sure if it always has, and I'm only noticing because of the camera saving the video, or if it's gotten lost
In any case, I got a notification that it's in the backyard so I went out and gave it some scritcheys. Then it was gone just as quick as it came. It seems to have a routine though, it comes in from the driveway, walls last the front camera, sniffs some plants, then goes down the side of the house, squeezes through a gap in the gate, pops up on the back camera a couple of minutes later, goes to the other side of the house, does who knows what there, then does it all again in reverse.
Sounds like I've been adopted! Obligatory photos (same ones posted in may, I didn't take any today):
Iโve just caught up on the Australian breakdancer. Itโs so very bad. The sprinkler and the play school kangaroo hop moves were great, but the sprayed roach was glorious. I watched on repeat laughing. 5 stars.
On my street, the massed chorus of lawnmowers, whippersnippers and blowers has just started up. Right now it's fairly minor, but I predict it will reach a crescendo later on today.
Oh no. While constructing my mega mousse I think the chocolate cooled down too much and it looks spotty. It tastes delicious though. Ah well. You live and learn and laugh.
Something just clicked for me with this "raygun" contraversy: Its the outfit.
I mean the dancing is... whatever look I'm not one to judge anyones dancing I still cant figure out "Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box". But the green and gold getup is OK for a a cricketer or something, but just embarassing for a dancing routine!
Still no smell or taste. Busied myself with laundry and mopping to try and stop being angry. Can't go out in the backyard for too long because MIL had a dude over to cut down the bottlebrush tree and rip half the garden out. She hasn't got a plan really, just felt like replacing half the garden beds with more bloody lawn ๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ. It wasn't necessary and looks shithouse, just like the barren wasteland of a front garden I try not to look at. Still strongly positive test, looks like I'm out of work until at least Wednesday. As a casual worker this isn't good.
I confess: I was up all night playing contraband police (I was stuck on a level and it was annoying me), playing some missionchief, and messing around with JavaScript and python.
I don't understand JavaScript and evidently chatgpt doesn't either, because my attempt at modifying a chrome extension didn't quite work. But I used it to create a python script to take a few dozen JSON files from a web scraper, de-duplicate them, and output it to a CSV file, which can then be imported to google sheets and bulk archived onto the Wayback machine
Stayed in bed for an alarming amount of time today watching Fast Forward and Full Frontal clips after someone on the other site mentioned that the infamous breakdancing reminded them of Jane Turner doing gymnastics as Berylina Stumpy...
Why do I sabotage myself like this! Spent a very large part of a very fine day in bed, when I actually HAD energy to do other things if I'd just put away the phone. Could've indulged in videos at night instead. Now I am behind on stuff for next week. At least I got a brisk 30min walk in rather than sitting in negativity.
Iโm trying to force myself to sort out everything thatโs been allowed to slide, take care of myself better, but am getting really anxious in the process. I keep running out of energy after doing something.
Also spending even on essentials is stressing me out. Iโm still doing alright (touch wood) but it feels like another financial hit is always right around the corner and it induces a kind of panic. At this point I think itโs just ingrained. If youโre not aggressively saving you might regret it.
Ever since, I deleted InstaGratification and Tik Toxic, I've noticed (finally) that my doomscrolling on those apps has been replaced with the following:
opening 500 tabs of long form videos and reading the comments to find out what the video talks about. Most of these videos are things to do with self-help, which I am exhausted learning about from information overload. It's like watching how to stop procrastinating videos and inadvertently using them to procrastinate. Trying to find out how I can do the work on myself is stopping me from actually doing the work.
compulsively googling every thought I have. This has lead me back to the other place, because a Redditor from seven years ago has had the exact same experience as I'm having. I think it's doing more harm than good though, and am thinking of avoiding Reddit altogether. I played my keyboard and ukulele for a bit, even though I have next to no dexterity, and I felt way more at peace doing that than actually trying to reassure myself that I'm going to be better by reading advice on how to be better.
The people in my life use junk content on social media to switch off, but my brain has been switched off for so long. It's time to get into the real world. Maybe one day I'll be able to be indoctrinated into Big Social Media again, and use it in a healthy way. Not today. Not tomorrow. Or the next day.
Awake after some very strange but weirdly satisfying dreams (ok one brief nightmare at 12 about escaping my dad - but felt good to remind myself I'm quite safe here and have choices)
Feeling really good after yesterday, I think it must be the extra sun exposure. I take plenty of vit D but there must be something else about the sun that's just really good for the body...
Don't want to be up though, so I shall just snuggle in bed feeling grateful and secure reflecting on all the good things I've got
Still got a lot of stuff piled around in boxes and was too tired to tackle it last weekend, so I will resist the lure of the beach and work on it today.
Anyone involved in support groups for chronic illness /pain? I have zero support group but feel validated seeing posts on instagram that mirror my experience.
What happened to the inquiry/trust busting of Colesworth? Last time I heard they were being made to give suppliers a less exploitative deal I think? But I donโt think anything was done about the price gouging.
I'll just have a listen to two weird LPs I bought the other day. Not sure what they are, they could be awesome or they could be awful or they could be risible.