CRISPR used to 'reprogram' cancer cells into healthy muscle in the lab

I look forward to Christians saying this is blasphemous and it subsequently being made illegal. As is tradition.
- Hopefully they'll just refuse to use it and all the Christians will die of cancer
  
  Not cool wishing people death :/
  Plus it won't be efficient as most cancer form after you're not fertile anymore.
- Christian here, I don't understand why anyone would object to this lol
  
  Could you... I dunno, just talk to other Christians? Tell them they're being silly on stem cells, women's health, the age of the Earth, evolution, LGBTQ+ people, and much more?
  And could you please, please, please get them to finally actually read those Bibles gathering dust on their bookshelves? Help them discover for themselves that Jesus has a lot to say about hypocrisy and nothing to say about gay people? Maybe they'll also discover that God doesn't help those who help themselves, but instead commands his followers to help each other?
  
  Because at some point one of the scientists learned how to reprogram somatic cells by experimenting on embryonic stem cells.
  Mostly it's because the man who yells about God on the tv while demanding money for his 5th private jet said so, plus the south is represented in government by the best and brightest of its used car salesmen.
  
  Because they need a new outrage target.
  It's not like there was any reason to be outraged about the lack of conservative indoctrination in schools either.
- Christian here and I think this is awesome! Some of us are ignorant, closed-minded dipshits and I am truly sorry. Truth be told, this Jesus guy was pretty great, but most of his fan club is fucking nuts.

When is CRISPR going to grant me immortality god damnit. Every year that drips past is one less with my immortality guarantee.
I want to be immortal even if it kills me.
- Even if it kills you? Seems Counterintuitive, it would only be logical if you are pursuing it from sheer effort and not because a bad batch got experimented on you. I hope your efforts for immortality go well. Please share your findings with the world
  
  c/whoooosh

Were they muscle cells before they were cancer cells?
Because that seems like a problem if they weren't.
- Brain tumor, now you can exercise your brain
  
  So that explains why I get +1 STR every time I read a book
  
  Dr. Kawashima suddenly became more creepy.
  
  Do you even lift, brorain.

Ah, so this is how you get zombies!
- theres a secret exit in the back of the fireplace if you wanna give the maniac who punched someone in the face at an awards show a sequel vehicle

Noice.

Put the genes in the CRISPR and the cells come out nice n fresh.

This is the way

It's like genetic Judo.

That sounds pretty useful, why did it stop?
- That's the neat part, it doesn't.
  Which is the problem when it reaches other healthy cells. That'd be the next stage of research.
  
  "Good news, we turned your cancer AND skeletal system all into muscle!"
  
  So it's like cancerous muscle? That's like asking to be written into a comic book.

Could CRISPER be used to create a crispier French fry?
- I mean .... Yeah?

Could CRISPER be used to create a crispier French fry?
- Potentially. You could engineer potatoes to produce more of certain starches and less moisture, so it would fry up crispier than normal.
- Nope