If the logic of copyright/trademark/IP law applied to everything, what's the most peculiar possible implication you can think of for it?
If the logic of copyright/trademark/IP law applied to everything, what's the most peculiar possible implication you can think of for it?
Was thinking of this after a conversation I had on a thread about dreams. Someone joked “I was dreaming of the events of The Matrix, then I was woken up by someone worried my dream was infringing the Wachowski’s copyrights”, and it turned into a whole train of thought in my mind, like violating IP law because you stole fire from Zeus which was his intellectual property.
Parents have to pay a fee for the firstname they give their kids. Popular firstnames cost more, gross ones cost less.
The kids themselves have to pay again for it monthly, their whole live long.
Nah it should be like fetishes, the more obscure the more expensive. But you can get John or Mark for free.
So, who owns the name?
Some squatter who bought the rights to it for two twigs and a raspberry back when they were first selling off name rights 200,000 years ago
Lineages could claim copyright of children and their works as derivative. Entire families could claim copyright of their descendants and all works related. Each new generation resets the timer on expiration if the copyright expirations still apply.
Royalties every time you use a line from a Disney musical in spoken conversation
Don't give them any ideas
Rest assured that they've already had that idea a dozen times already, and if they thought they could make it stick, they would have done so by now.
Let it go
You must never go there.
Discovery of oxygen.
Stop breathing my proprietary gas!
My time zones! Not yours!
My special ï makes all i's mine or I'll sue you into bankrupt poverty.
I own slurred accent (n + 1) and anyone speaking in said accent must cease and desist
Didn't Nestle want to do this with water?
Planetary air is free as no one could prove in court that they had any hand in its design or creation.
However the air in contained facility such as a space station or mars habitat is copy protected. Each inhabitant requires a Microsoft 365 style license renewed annually to breathe. Special areas of the habitat or use cases such as atheltic activities require special temporary licenses.
Hmmm Brb: writing synopsis.
That's basically a plot point in Heinlein's The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, where visitors have to pay for the amount of air they intend to breathe while visiting the moon.
Also, Idea: invent a copyrightable method of filtering or otherwise treating air. Release your "specially modified" air into the atmosphere. Start charging for every time someone inhales one of your AyreMolecuulz™.
Paying money every time you sit on a chair. Part goes to the owner, part goes to taxes, part goes to the chair maker's company, part goes to the chair desiger, a drip goes to the chair maker.
Propietary ownership of bacteria that allow fermentation
I would be surprised if this isn't already a thing
Getting sued for sitting down to poop in a similar position as done in some movie
I actually think this backfires on most of you. Copyright law makes everything public domain after a period of time, Johnny Fires kids will be able to trade for all the first professionals in the world. But Life +70 years after currency is invented, anyone can print cash and trade falls apart and services and materials are the only thing if value. Copyright laws broken :shrug:
LOL copyright law isn't the only law that says you can't print your own money
Damn, if only someone had asked a hypothetical question wherein copyright law controls everything.
Oh well, that'll never happen.
Good thing you were here to rectify such a foolish mistake.
I think current copyright rules are already quite wild enough when applied to digital media, since digital media is literally just made of numbers. Anyone who makes IP automatically owns the number that represents it in a computer.
Plus it's not just that one number. What if you have different resolutions of an image or video? Different file formats or encodings? What if you compress or encrypt the media? Yeah, the copyright holder can enforce that nobody is allowed to use ANY of those numbers. What if you take media and divide it by 2? Probably still copyrighted. What if you divide it by 236832746589? Copyrighted? Probably, yeah, since it would be too easy to take a movie, divide it by that number, and give it to all your friends so they could reproduce the original. I don't even know how to estimate the extremely vast amount of numbers somebody implicitly owns every time they make any piece of IP.
So yeah, literally illegal to count high enough or perform certain forbidden math.
Memes taken down and replies deleted in conversations because they contain copyrighted text and images. Lyrics censored in online conversation. All video containing any image with a logo protected by trademark, or characters protected by international copyright, even when on T shirts and signs being taken down.
It would be pretty funny if airplane manufacturers trademarked their con-trails, so each type of plain left a different trail behind
If they were all a different color, that'd be pretty damn cool.
Chemtrail conspiracy theorists in absolute shambles.
Think of the TikTok grifting!
When you're born, Pantone checks your skin color and charges you. You need to get a license before you get tanned or they fine you.
Donald Trump is Pantone 16-1449: Gold Flame.
Sexual positions are locked behind tiered paywalls. The most basic ones are free, but as they get more interesting, you have to pay increasing royalty fees.
NSFW
spoiler
I've trademarked the process of inserting the penis into vaginal, anal, and oral orafices. Send licensing payments to...
My comment on this thread isn’t visible when J view the thread itself. It’s visible if I access it through my own comment history.
Does anyone know why that might be? I’m using the Voyager client for ios.
Can y’all see a comment I made, top level, in this thread, other than this one?
You can’t skeet on my ex, I trademarked that ass ;)
Ownership of specific light spectrums would be fucked up
I think Anish Kapoor owns Vantablack if that counts. Technically he probably just owns the right to the paint
As much as I dislike Kapoor, technically Vantablack isn't a pigment or regular paint by any means. From my understanding it is actually carbon nano tubes with who knows what else mixed in it and I believe it's actually very dangerous to be around without proper PPE. So in that sense, it makes sense to me that he "owns" it.
Still don't like the guy though.
He doesn't own it. He has an exclusive license to use it in art. Surrey NanoSystems Limited owns the patent on VantaBlack. Stuart Semple was so angry that Kapoor received that license that he had a blacker black material created and licensed it to anyone but Kapoor. When Kapoor obtained a sample anyway, Semple had a still blacker material created, to spite him.
They do it with radio spectrums.
They literally auction that shit off.
Sneezing and breathing in different ways like hyperventilation.
Masseurs having to document and pay royality for every massage technique used.