Just got a new electric razor so I could get rid of my facial hair in preparation for painting my face for halloween (and definitely not because when I shave I think I might look like a cute girl, it is definitely only because I need to have a smooth canvass to look like a spooky scary skeleton, or so I tell myself).
It's a bittersweet (hopefully only a temporary bitterness) thing. But then also I feel I have gained so much from it all the same regardless of how things turn out and now am doing my usual gay lamentations/dramatics in my head. And my appreciation of life and humanity has grown even if there is so much weight around it as well. I hope that will and yuanfen, circumstance, will see it through.
Existence is truly duḥkha, though it makes life and what we treasure, build up, and hold close all the more significant, maybe. Maybe that should be my communist ethos..
Feel the equivalent of gay shell-shocked right now by what I should have seen coming and I already knew from the start anyways. Anyways ye