The Divine Dick

I don't think He/Him are neopronouns as the prefix neo- means new. Surely His would be old (paleopronouns), or timeless (aeternuspronouns), rather than new

In mormonism if you don't do their special ceremonies and have multiple wives, you lose your dick for eternity. I learned that in Sunday school when I was 12 lol.

You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.

It's a lot.

Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.

Sky will never be the same, won't it?

The weird thing is that a lot of christians (including the Catholic church) affirm that God "the Father" has actually no gender.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_of_God_in_Christianity

Technically, you can't say that He/Him are God's preferred pronouns because the capitalization doesn't appear in the oldest texts. They are more a matter of tradition than of reality. However, you could say that's even worse because Christians have embraced these neopronouns on God's behalf.

Considering how consistently the world gets fucked, yeah, I'd say there's a divine Dick out there doing all the fucking.

Oh there's plenty of Christian nationalist men thinking about "divine dick"

That's it, I'm using He/Him pronouns now.

God never addressed themselves as him/her. They referred to themselves as I am.

There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I'm willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it's for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I'd wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.

I wouldn't call them neopronouns, they're more like archeopronouns.

Captain Kirk: "What does God need with a penis?"

The whole capitalization of pronouns thing was pretty much entirely made up around the 19th century anyway (as well as the capitalizing the word "Lord", which the King James version invented outright), so you can argue that protestant churches are following a woke plot to change the pronouns of the christian god as well.

I would love to see the prompt that generated this ChatGPT response.

Is God cut or uncut?

If you ask about gender in death, people will just look at you weird.

There's compounding evidence that a lot of religious canon was simply written by mankind as a kind of societal control.

The living should be kinder to one another.

💙

According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god--the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don't like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons--if they're good enough--can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in... More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don't usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren't Mormon.

I believe that the quote is, "As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become," or something like that.

Source: was Mormon for >25 years.

I mean it was up in the sky about a month ago. The last time it was visible was apparently in ancient Egypt. If you missed it, to bad. The news said it wouldn't be visible again until he gets a prostate exam in over a thousand years

God created both men and women in his image, so he must have biological gender traits from both.

This is excellent:

If God has no cock, then being male doesn't need a cock to be real.

If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?

Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?

Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?

What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?

And why all these questions about pee anyway...how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it's bad, doesn't that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let's people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?

Now I’m wondering if God has a belly button….cause that would imply an umbilical cord

You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.

I would assume since gods are omnipotent, their dicks are always the perfect size for the situation. Or perhaps they are inconceivably huge. Since they seem to like swinging them around so much.

Pronouns? God don't need no stinking pronouns. God got dick.

Well the church is Christ's bride so we can only assume it's going to get dicked down.

I can follow this, up to

they are neopronouns

I believe that that's a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn't have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don't capitalize as much. And are they distinct?

Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you're constantly being dicked by God.

Couple of fun facts about this :

so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ' I am ' technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.

Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that's up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.

Can god sling a dick so big even he can't rub one out?

I think this is very relevant to this discussion https://youtu.be/qUb0JnEsOHQ

*Hits the Blessed Waterpipe of Panaji*

Under Trinitarianism, God would be a they/them, because they're literally several people.

According to the common understanding of the doctrine of virgin birth, Mary got impregnated through the Holy Spirit rather than The Father rawdogging her. This suggests that the Holy Spirit is a dick and thus probably male.

The Father is, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, not a man or a woman. That being said, neither Hebrew nor Aramaic nor Koine Greek have gender-neutral pronouns (except perhaps calling The Father "it" in Koine Greek, which would be hilarious but sadly would not be approved of by a killjoy like Paul).

Well the Holy Spirit 100% has a dick given he was the one that inseminated Mary.

...i like the way you think

"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. 'You believe in God?'

'No.'

BANG Dead.

'You believe in God?'

'Yes.'

'You believe in my God?'

'No.'

BANG Dead.

'My God has a bigger dick than your God!'"

-George Carlin

Baphomet is an occult archetype for the Supreme Deity, composed by both the male and female principles. The commonly found art/statue of Baphomet has both a phallus and breasts, representing the interconnectedness between these principles, just like Yin and Yang from Taoism are complementary to each other.

The same duo happens across various belief systems, such as Ancient Egypt (Isis and Osiris, Nun and Nunet), Brazilian Tupi-guarani indigenous people faith (Tupã e Jaci), some esoteric branches of Islam (Alaat or Al-Lat, the female principle of Allah), and so on. And there's also Luciferianism, where there are Lucifer and Lilith sometimes seen as complementary, sometimes seen as "enemies".

Regarding the Christianity, the Holy Ghost is a feminine name in Hebrew, so it'd be the nearest to this female principle of the Supreme Deity, a.k.a. The Mother Goddess (Asherah as others correctly pointed across the comments).

While we tend to see the male-female principles as phallus and vagina, the reproductive organs are actually just a representation on the physical realm from spiritual, energetic polarities. Everyone has both male and female energies (i.e. a man has also female energy within him, a woman has also a male energy within her), and we shall seek to balance them, seeking equilibrium between our inner man and our inner woman.

The patriarchal society tried to erase the figure of the Mother Goddess across the centuries, trying to make us forget how the first belief systems worshipped a Goddess instead of a God (Venus figurines, for example) but it seems like that this knowledge is being rediscovered nowadays.

It's not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn't entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It's a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected

Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that christ is purely divine and not human

Does that mean God has a neodick?

In Exodus, Moses asked to see God's face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his "back" instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).

The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that's ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as "butt." Now why would God need a butt?

This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.

Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.

This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.

More gods == more rational

These good Mormon boys have wrapped your answer up in a nice little song

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mKB_W4Fv_vY

Weren't Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn't Baal their son?

Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.

Fu̇nilı inu̇f, ð Moṙmėnz ƿᵫd hæv ð lıſt tceu̇bėl ƿið ðiſ ƿėn. Ðıṙ vṙjėn v ð greıtṙ ſpıritcuėl wṙld hæz ė hevenlı mėðṙ tu. Ėkoṙdıŋ t Knowing Better, C'z n ſupṙ impoṙtent, b ð Moṙmėnz þıŋk it'ſ nuıſ t no C'z aut ðeıṙ.

Capitalised pronouns ARE neopronouns. I use them, and I wrote an article on My blog about it: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/introduction-to-capitalised-pronouns-f5140e722b48