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Do some guys start humming/making noise around women to not frighten them?

Might sound silly, but every once in a while, random guys around me (pretty short, female) start humming/making random noises when they get near me, usually when I'm alone. Imagine me standing at a red traffic light at night or something. It's never women. Sometimes, it's some creep trying to get my attention, though that's usually kinda obvious.

But I also had it happen with guys who didn't seem like they wanted anything. I lowkey suspect that some might make noises so that I'm not caught off guard or something?

Any men on here who do this? Or am I just tripping?


Edit to summarize: So, a few guys apparently do it on purpose, while others think they might do it subconsciously. Some do it around women, others around whomever, since anyone can get scared. Super interesting.

Also, when I spoke of creeps, I meant actual assholes who did and said shitty stuff, not random socially awkward people. You know the drill.

60 comments
  • I'll clear my throat, jingle my keys, make louder footsteps to make my presence known, especially at night or when turning a corner. It's not just for women, but for any person or animal to not be startled.

    I think it's a combination of courtesy, habit from having worked in a restaurant kitchen, and camping in bear country.

    • If I could see any practice from my time working food service make it into the general population, it would be "Behind" and "Heard".

  • Yes, the fear is typically that we don't want to be accused of following you, sneaking up on you, or being creepy, so there is usually some noise or overt thing we do to try to imply we are just minding our own business.

    Sometimes to avoid the situation all together, (let's say I am walking home at night and I see some woman walking the same direction ahead of me, and I know I am going to end up passing her because my pace is faster), then we will literally cross the street just so that we don't have to be put in the awkward situation of walking up to and past you at 3 am on a public sidewalk.

    There are other things beyond this as well that men do or avoid doing which women might not realize. Most men in my experience are really careful to never be left alone with children for example. No one blinks an eye if a woman is, but men have learned to avoid potential false accusations in this way as well.

    A lot of men are fearful to do something as simple as taking their kids to the park because of this. You can search for articles in which fathers who take their own kids to the park have been accused of being pedophiles just for sitting on a bench while their children play, or accused of kidnapping just because they are an adult man with a child in public. You won't find any articles about this happening with a woman.

  • I personally do this, especially now that I live in a rural area and enjoy taking night walks. If I encounter someone, but particularly a woman, I make some noise and slowly move away so they’re not caught off guard if they see me around doing my own stuff. In the city, I also move to the other side of the road and walk faster to give people space. Part of this behavior is influenced by my OCD and ADHD.

  • As someone who gets mistaken for a man: Yes. I clear my throat, shuffle my feet, make some kind of noise. If it's a headphone wearer, I'm either going to slow down to make space or give them a wide berth if it can't be avoided.

  • IDK, maybe, I might be one of those guys and didn't really notice before.
    I don't believe I do this differently around women vs men.
    I'm often too busy in my own head to pay much attention. So, if your body language isn't sketchy like drunk or overly aggressive, odds are I've zoned out and you didn't register much.

    Anyway, I'm a generally silent walker.
    If I'm not paying attention, I might end up sneaking up on someone without meaning to, which can then startle them or spook them. Like, I spook my cat often enough and they're the actual predators.

    But yea, late at night, I think I might subconsciously make myself known ahead of time just as a simple courtesy.
    I'd rather not find out whether anyone's more of a fight/flight person when they finally notice me. ¯(ツ)_/¯

    Me? I'm the throat clearing guy. Hi. Ahem.

    PS: I have 20+ years experience of throat clearing. Yes I've seen doctors, they didn't find anything other than yea we can see inflammation in your vocal chords, no there's nothing we can do, just stop doing it. That or prescribe random shit that actually fucks up other basic bodily functions and create actual problems.

    Anyway, I'm sorry if it's weird.

60 comments