2y ago

Greetings fellow Lemmings! What was the stupidest thing you ever did?

I’ll start: My first GF and I didn’t use protection. We used the pull out technique. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR! I was 19 and could have ruined my life then and there.

78 comments

Do I have to pick only one? I wasn’t a very bright kid.
Willingly let someone taze my testicles in exchange for a beer
Chased black bears off the trail behind our house for no reason, usually with nothing more than a nearby stick
Skinny dipping in a river known to be filled with leeches
Got in a drunk argument with a raccoon, which led to my first underage drinking ticket because I refused to be spoken to in that tone
Became friends with said raccoon and even met its kits once over stale day old bread I brought home from my high school job at Jimmy John’s
Made a potato gun and accidentally fired it backwards, breaking the glass window in the garage
Threw M80’s into the water to go fishing Crocodile Dundee style
Believed a girl I barely knew when she said she was on the pill
- Every single point is wonderful.
- Got in a drunk argument with a raccoon, which led to my first underage drinking ticket because I refused to be spoken to in that tone
  Perfectly understandable and the fact that you later became friends shows that establishing boundaries is important.
- I’m waiting for Hollywood to pick up the movie rights to this comment
- I like that you and the raccoon were able to reconcile your differences

Got high with my ex and her new boyfriend. Well, he wasn't her boyfriend yet. That was the night it happened.
- That sounds like it hurt. I am sorry.
- Oof
- Weed kickstarted their intimate connection? I’ve heard of drunken hookups but this is a new one for me.
  
  More like it prevented me from picking up on the hints that I should leave.
- Bruh.....I feel for you. We got your back. Fuck her.
  
  She didn't do anything wrong. I was the one being an idiot.

Started smoking. Absolutely, hands down the dumbest decision of my life. I hope the kids these days are being smarter about that. Still dealing with my nicotine addiction in other ways.
- Message to people my age (early twenties). I have been smoking since 18-19 and I liked it so much that I didn't bother quitting or reducing. There were moments which I knew the harms and bad effects it did to my body even in the short term, I was constantly telling myself to keep going because life is too short anyways & smoking is fun etc.
  Then one day while having a conversation with my older brother who is also a smoker, he laughed with his mouth open and I saw his teeth in 4K... Damn, then I thought, if I keep going my teeth will be same in, 5 years? No, thanks.
  It is easy if you have a motivation, lol it's curiel one maybe but it worked. The only thing I miss is the fake dopamine rush. The need for that quick happiness, it still needs a bit of time to go away.
  By the way, it's been a month or so and I feel less miserable and more energetic now. I realize now, how smoking made me lay down and rest constantly. Hope you get the message.
  Best.
- Same here. Hands down dumbest thing I ever did was start smoking.

I failed to objectively reason and logically assess the fundamental religious extremism I was raised with for the first 30 years of my life.

I feel sorry for ya. I have a low sperm count and my ex girl has PCOS. So....it was all in for me. She never got pregnant for 4 years.
Anyhow. Stupidest thing I've done? Probably flashing gay porn to a random dude at a gas station at midnight, only to get chased by him in his car for over 3 miles.
I was 16. I can provide full context if requested. Me and my friend almost died that night.
- I request for the full gay flash chase story, please!
  
  So me and my friend were driving around at night in his car and had this dumb as fuck idea to flash gay midget porn to people because har har gay sex = funny.
  So we drove to this gas station, and to the first random guy I saw, I screamed at him to get his attention, turned the volume ALL THE WAY UP on my phone, and flashed this random ass shady gay midget porn video I found.
  We sped off laughing, until we realized about two lights down the road there was a car speeding up rapidly behind us. We put two and two together and realized this crazy fuck was chasing us. So he FLOORS it on the gas, and we're going 70 mph on the backroads running light after light. Honestly surprised we didn't get hit. And this crazy fuck is still going.
  I'm BEGGING him to pull up to the police station, but he was like, "No they'll tell our parents". I said who gives a flying fuck what our parents think as this dude wants to kill us. Better than being dead. His dumbass drives right past the station and we pull into a neighborhood to try and lose him....until we accidentally pull into one of those circular streets or whatever. We both stop, and he gets out the car with a knife not saying a word. We're both pleading and apologizing with the windows cracked until I finally figure out this guy isn't fucking around. He's not gonna warn us or intimate us. He wants blood. I starting telling my friend to lock the doors because they were fucking unlocked. Don't know why, but he's too freaked out. Finally I get right in his face and tell this dumbass again to lock the doors. RIGHT as he does this, the dude starts tugging on the door and we sped off. Never saw him again.
  Honestly I think in another universe we both died that night. Had he not locked the doors he would've opened the doors and killed us.
  I'm 23 now and looking back it was absolutely the dumbest thing I ever did. It takes the cake over doing ding dong ditch to a house multiple times and having a gun pointed at us. Even THAT wasn't as retarded.
  
  !remindme damn doesn’t work 🤪
- Ok. I want your story lol.
  
  Posted it above.

So i was on a beach it was a grad party around 2004 or 5, i played the roll of a high school stoner (suprised ain't 'cha) and was drinking and having a good time when i decided to slam the rest of my bottle and make molotov cocktail out of my empty JD bottle. I fill it with some gas someone had in a jerry can steal a beer out of a cooler and start walking to the rocks. One of the hockey jocks was the apparent owner of this wonderful cooler of free beer, and was rather upset at my generous usage of said cooler. So as him and his boys approached i lit the boxers i stuffed into the gas and threw the bottle almost strait up, and as i wathced the horror in the faces of all around me who were paying attention to the almost altercation, the lit bottle landed strait up at my feet gently in the sand.
- Duuuuude

There was this prince fleeing his African kingdom that fell shortly after. He contacted me and wanted my help in moving much of his wealth abroad. I decided I couldn't help him, because I was preoccupied with different stuff back then. To think that I lost the possibility to gain some neat percentage of all this money...
- The real life equivalent to this is that time back in like 2012 or some shit when I heard about this new thing called the silk road and bitcoin, and I considered buying bitcoin at like $0.50, but was broke and got my weed locally no problem anyway, so why should I bother?
  If I had a time machine..
- Classic.

I sliced off the very tip of my ring finger on Friday cutting boxes with a box cutter Friday. I'm comfortable saying that's probably the dumbest thing I've ever done
- If it stands the test of time in the future then you’re getting off easy friend!

I pursued a degree without really understanding what the one relevant job would have entailed until my junior year of college. Turns out, I would have hated that job.
To be fair to my past self, I was just a kid and I really wasn't offered proper guidance. But yeah, wish I made different choices, so I didn't have to go through such a huge quarter life crisis.
- I don't like how much society pushes kids to have their future chosen before they have any real idea of how the real world works. I did pick a good program to study straight out of high school and have a decent career from it now, but even then I dropped out for a while because I just didn't have the drive yet.
  I wonder how things would have turned out if I had pushed through instead of dropping out. Maybe I'd be farther along in my career, maybe I would have ended up at the same company and gotten laid off when they struggled during my "off time", or maybe I would have burned out and ruined my career because I wasn't ready for it yet.

I wanted to get high at a friend's parents house and had nothing so I went to their medicine cabinet and took quite a few different pills, even though I had no idea what they were. I think it was at a time when I didn't really care if I deaded myself.
Things are great now though, and nothing happened to me that night. So, it ended well.
- I'm glad you're still here ♥️
  
  Thank you, so much good has happened since then. I love my life.

Grew up in Florida on a lake filled with alligators. Swam in it for years. 🤦‍♀️

Got in a relationship in HS. My life would’ve head in a different trajectory if I had just focused on friends and school instead of devoting most of my time and effort to that relationship
- Same.

I took three tabs of acid at a festival and had one hell of a night! If only I could remember it..
- Damn. If I have more than one tab I’m on another planet. Can’t imagine 3.

Drugs. A few times my harm reduction practices were shaky at best, though overall I was pretty good, but still. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but dumb nonetheless and life changing absolutely.
If only I could have the wisdom that comes from trauma without actually having to deal with trauma and it's circumstances...oh I guess life would be kinda dull that way though.

I started a camp fire in a dry grass field. Needless to say the field quickly caught fire. I was maybe 10 years old at the time. Should not have been playing with fire.

Bought 220k house for my mom to live with me. She passed away 2 months after I had signed. Old place was paid off. Still got the old place. Day dream all the time about selling the new place and getting out of it without putting money in.
Old place is way ran down, a crap ton smaller, but I don't owe anything on it.

Created an account on fb.

Forgetting to flash decypt.zip after flashing a custom ROM causing a 6 month data loss.

When I was in the Army, one time we built a racetrack, complete with jumps, for the bulldozers. One person drove, the rest of us just hung on with our bare hands, with the moving treads a few feet below us, no seatbelts, no safety harness, nothing. The motor pool Sergeant said we could do it as long as we all wore our kevlar (helmet) (he was also nuts and didn't care about shit). That no one fell off and got crushed under the treads is a miracle. God, we were so dumb. Helluva ride, though.