How I cannot be worry??

This is mine.

Do you have a problem?

Yes

Can you do something about it?

I DONT KNOW

P A N I K

People usually worry because "Can you do something about it -> Yes" involves something unpleasant or work intensive stuff with strict time limit.

Do you have a problem? Yes, I don’t have enough money for bills + food.

Can you do something about it? No, I’m on a fixed income.

Then don’t worry. Uh…

My problem is that the "Can you do something about it?" is always unclear, I go back and forth until it consumes my thoughts.

Except for the Yes -> Then Don't Worry part. If there is something that can be done then it should probably be done. Which will take time/effort/expense/cooperation.

Explaining this diagram to a guy in the middle of a plane crash, but he just keeps screaming and pounding at the windows.

Why don't you simply turn off the unwanted emotion??

That's how emotions work, right? Right, that's how they work.

I’ve gotten decent at this, but it has taken years of practicing the skill, plus trying various medications. Not to mention a couple of job losses during covid.

The fun combo of adhd and anxiety made this a necessity if I wanted to generally enjoy life.

The ability to not worry about shit sounds simple, but it is much easier said than done. It’s like a muscle that you have to exercise and build up.

Here are the elevator pitched for three topics that helped me:

Mediation/mindfulness: I listened to some Buddhist talks, and liked the way some of them explained focusing on your breath and stepping back to observe your own emotions without embracing those feelings at the time. And you have compassion for yourself, and not judge things negatively. Just observe what is. It’s something you can practice at any time, and the more you do it, the more you can stay in that state while doing other things. There is also a big component of controlling your desires, because those are often a big component of suffering.

Philosophy: around the same time, I was reading stoic philosophy. Marcus Aurelius is the big name there. The bottom line is that regardless of what happens to you, the way that you internally process it and react to it is what really determines how it affects your life & mental state. So with practice, time, and sometimes medication, you are more and more in control of your mental state and how things affect you.

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): The world around you is what it is, so instead of worrying about things you can’t control, you accept the true state of things and then filter that through your personal values to decide how to act.

Some common themes here, to be sure. Along with being able to better control your thoughts and emotions, it’s about finding contentment and tranquility in whatever your life looks like. Not because everything is great, but because your mental state is much more important than reacting how you “should” react.

This cannot reasonably be how mentally healthy people react though, because this would seem to suggest that the healthy thing to do is to never worry about anything at all, in which case, what utility would have led to that emotion evolving in the first place?

My brain:

Do you have a problem? -> No -> FREAK OUT!

This is how I think, but my girlfriend doesn't, so sometimes it's really frustrating. I think she is addicted to worrying.

Replace "Then don't worry" with "If you really think about it you should definitely be worried" and this is my life.

If the answer is 'maybe' then you are allowed to worry.

Anything -> worry

But worrying about it is what gives the motivation to do something about it.

I used being like that, I miss being like that.

I dont wanna worry, i really dont.

i wish it would be like that.

I may not be able to do anything for certain things but they are exactly what is really doing me in right now, how am i supposed to NOT worry.

It's actually a conscious decision to worry or not. For many people this thought concept is calming: it was so unlikely, that this little ape we all descend from, even survived in that unyielding nature. But the ape even prospered. If the ape survived for hundreds of thousands of years, you will too. You can make money again. You will find a roof over your head every time. Fear feeds fear, just put it on a diet. It's not that you have to do something, you just have to do nothing. Do you breathe? There. You believe in yourself, otherwise you wouldn't.

Have a nice one

Do you have a problem? If yes, then it should consume your thoughts so you don't have any ability to think of a solution... If no, then you must've forgotten something...

Ah, yes. If they think they can do something about it, then they are completely mentally stable.

Do I have a problem?

No -> Don't Worry. Yes -> Can I do something -> No -> What the worst possible outcomes and how will I deal with them? Can I do something -> Yes -> What the worst possible outcomes and how can I negate them to only have best outcomes.

Worrying is good, preparedness makes it easier.

I have generalized anxiety disorder and adhd. I wish i could control my anxiety and impulsive thoughts completely

It was also a bitter revelations to me when I met some optimistic people and figured out that it's not everyone who's a defeatist pessimistic piece of shit like me. :/

Permanently Deleted

This is how to drive other people, especially coworkers, insane. That’s all that is.

This is how a lazy detached person's brain works.