Wife's out of town for the weekend and I want to get into some debauchery, any suggestions?
Wife's out of town for the weekend and I want to get into some debauchery, any suggestions?
Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing.
Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.
This is some next-level chaos.
She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.
And bits of dried pizza cheese.
Permanently Deleted
My mum was raised without eating pork (they just didn't have it growing up), and my dad saw and heard the abattoir near daily and associates the smell of pork with screaming children.
On the odd weekend when they were both away, us kids would sprint to the store, grab reams of bacon and cook it fast on the sly for a real fry-up. We'd have to air out the house as well afterwards to get rid of the smell, but they'd always know and complain about it when they got back
I'm so glad your mom and dad found each other.
Protip for if you find a time machine: Charcoal Grill, fire extinguisher, tinfoil, and a pan that'll fit in the grill. Start your grill, get it all hot and stuff, line your pan with foil, drop your bacon on, cover, and check occasionally, flip when needed. DO NOT spill the grease, but if you do that's why the fire extinguisher is here. For best results use thick cut bacon (always).
Keeps the smell outside and it'll be some of the best bacon you've ever had, it's just kiiiind of a fire hazard...
When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen
When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription
When my partner is in town we watch porn together
Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.
LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...
Don't change your underwear for two days.
Already on it.
I'm proud of you.
Factorio
He said he only had a weekend though.
All night video game session. Grab your preffered snacks and drinks.
YEEEEEE LEZZ GOOOOOO
Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods
Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)
Sext her.
Sext her sister
Sext her sister's BIL
Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.
If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.
Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.
Edit:
bout to get wild
Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter
I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing
Have you seen Crimes Of The Future?
I have not, but something from Cronenberg sounds right up my alley!
You guys are amazing
grind leetcode
Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed
Have you thought of lipstick and nail polish?
Truest statement.
Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with
In that situation I make myself a half-rack of pork ribs in the slowcooker.
Wife doesn't actually mind this, she just doesn't care for pork ribs herself and I don't feel like making her a separate meal when I'm indulging my inner carnivore.
My wife would not want to miss out on ribs.
hookers?
Time to finally put in that $25,000 patio door.