who is the best option to replace Biden that could realistically have a chance? and who would be the funniest/worst option, and why will that most certainly happen?

Kamala for President with Michelle Obama as VP would probably be the fastest safest thing the Dems could do this close to the election.

Two women of color. Both with time in service in the realm of politics, both known quantities at the national level.

Kamala would be easy enough to just prop up in public or keep at a desk to sign paperwork while the advisors/Congress do the actual governing. She seems to be enough of a political creature to do the "enlightened centrism" shtick naturally.

Michelle Obama being able to take the lead on public appearances, glad handing, and thoughts-n-prayers events.

Darkhorse prediction, not the funniest but I'd find it amusing:

Al Gore and Bernie Sanders but as two grumpy old men so weighed down by their past failures that they can't get out of their own way.

It's really something..the DNC has no fucking bench. Like there is nobody out here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Obama

Would absolutely send the right wing looneys into a tailspin almost definitely leading to a Jan 6 x 1000. Im here for it.

Corri Bush and Liz Cheney on the anti-Trump unity ticket. The sundowning registered Republicans who survived COVID show up at their polling places, see Bush/Cheney, and Pavlovian reflex kicks in, leaving them completely bamboozled by the ploy because they are incapable of telling what year it is. Dems still only get 51% of the popular vote in spite of carrying roughly 17% of registered Republicans.

Jeb!

Vermin Supreme

The funniest outcome is that most of you have seriously overestimated the memory retention capacity of your average American and Biden’s atrocious debate performance will be forgotten by July 4th, and everyone will look at you funny like “wtf are you talking about” when you try to remind them of the debate.

If the democrats want to maximize their chances of losing, they should replace him with the only politician to have ever lost an election to Trump hillary

Kamala Harris is the most likely pick. She was pushed for by Jim Clyburn, and his endorsement is what handed Biden South Carolina, and he has a lot of sway with black Democratic voters. Passing her over would be seen as a snub to them and that's a major Dem voting block that they can't afford to alienate. But she has negative charisma and the White House basically shoved her in a closet to do nothing so she doesn't have much to show in the way of accomplishments. And she's awful in debates - better than Trump or Biden but anyone who remembers the 2020 primary remembers that the only thing she did was torpedo Biden's standing and then getting smacked around for being a cop.

Gavin Newsome (governor of California) is a big deal in the party but "governor of Commiefornia" is a position with a lot of heat that might not play well in swing states.

Personally I think Dems' best shot is Gretchen Whitmer (gov of Michigan) - midwestern, has a bit of a name on the national stage from being targeted by CHUDS for assassination so she'd have a lot of cred in the fight against MAGA. Josh Shapiro (gov of PA) is floated a lot too, but I don't know much about him.

The funniest option? hunter

Bernie. From weekend at Bernie's

Michelle Obama is the answer to all of the above.

guaido

Can’t believe no one has yet commented on Gruesome Gavin’s ex-wife being Don Jr’s fiancé. The potential for the turbo-neoliberal to get dragged down into talking about his hog on a debate stage is real

my partner said bernie sanders and I said not a chance, the democrat establishment would never do it.

Best chance would probably be Gretchen Whitmer or Andy Beshar. There are a bunch of possible boring candidates that would smoke trump.

Funniest would be Eric Adams.

Gavin Newsom is, imo, unelectable on a national stage, and is probably actually a worse choice than just sticking with Joe Biden.

planet-hillary

Fuck it I'll do it

A lifelike simulacrum of the Ideal Democrat, but fitted with a bomb.

my most likely prediction if it actually happens is of course the Veep

kamala-coconut-tree

I'm seeing a guy called Gavin Newsom listed as the most likely replacement. I don't know anything about him.

ursula von der leyen

Newsom is most likely, Whitmer with highest odds to win imo.

Funniest is Hill dawg. Libs posting is going to be unhinged from the previous madness when she loses in a rematch.

lin manuel miranda

guy fieri

netanyahu

Picking a swing state governor is the safest bet.

Gretchen Whitmer (MI gov)
PA gov?
?

Candidates that would still potentially lose, ordered by losing odds.

Gruesome Gavin (California governor)

All these options fundamentally suck, but Dems have options for their kind of voter.

Any white male democrat (beside Buttigieg) could beat Trump right now

The stock market loving neoliberal suburbanites want a dem, since they can't get a "normal" republican. It's not 2004 the John Kerry strategy would work in this specific case, and as long as Clinton isn't running its not 2016 either

Newsom, JB Pritzker, and Andy Beshear would all squeak by comfortably

I think Whitmer with Pritzker would be a good combo, both Midwest governors, sure but that’s actually an important area that can swing versus Harris and Newsome both from California (and one would have to move their address because VP and President from same state invalidates that states electoral votes).

Both libs but less ghoulish. Even if Pritzker is a billionaire (weirdly does progressive stuff because doesn’t have to worry about retirement).

Or Kamala Pritzker. She’s bad but I think could be better than Biden and Pritzker is a white middle aged midwestern billionaire so that reassures conservatives a bit.