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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

𝔼𝕩𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕒 @lemmy.world

10mo ago

Thanks, Amy.

47 comments

Take another rip while throwing up the horns, establish dominance
- "Its one of those days Amy, I don't care"

CNN guy jerked off on camera on Teevee...
And kept his job haha
- "Nice dick, bro"
- I think it was in a work group zoom meeting, not actually on the air.
  
  they just showed it after on teevee, apologies... you are prolly right lol
  
  Researcher dude at my uni was grading thesis defenses during the pandemic Donald Duck style on Zoom, forgot the camera, stood up and flipped a dick into someone's life defining stressful moment.
- Jeffrey Toobin

Roses are red
Your camera is on
And everyone saw you
Hit a bong
🫰 🫰 🫰 🫰 🫰

Had a moment like this a few months back. But I don't smoke weed and everyone just got to watch me eat granola.
- I live alone and have a bad habit of verbalizing my thoughts; my worst nightmare is accidentally forgetting to mute myself while saying some inane shit into the call
  
  I used to do this constantly but I had to break myself out of the habit. On long drives, I'd forget I would have passengers and blurt out half a sentence before realizing.
  It also led my step mother to try and convince my dad I was schizophrenic at the time since I would do it in the house as well when I thought no one was around.
  Mildly annoying since it was just an easy way to think things through, I never saw it as a bad habit.

Man fuck video chat

During the beginning of COVID, I was on a group zoom interview, and saw someone hit a bong. I believe the hiring manager didn't see it, and they got hired.
- Hiring manager low-key looking for the hookup
- Way before COVID I got hired at a bank the same time as another dude who was "off" about one week in we both show up except he was high as a fucking kite. He got escorted out then and there.
  Like wtf my dude you're here to do a job show some respect!

It's a tobacco pipe!
- Tobacco water pipe!
  
  My shisha broke guys

The best thing to use is "Magic Tape" to cover your camera. It adds a frosted window effect while not disturbing your screen's brightness adjustment feature.
- If your computer uses the camera for ambient light sensing instead of a separate sensor, they definitely fucked up building it.
  
  The sensors are usually pretty close to the camera, so the chances of taping over it are relatively high.
  
  I have not had one like that in a while but some cheap models did. Looking at you Toshiba Satellite.
  
  Several smartphones do this too.

Bonus points if it's about 3 feet long like the one the stoner in Cabin in the Woods has.
- Back in the day one of my friends had just the most gigantic glass bong I've ever seen. It was too long to smoke and reach the bowl to light by yourself at the same time. Typical use was one person lit, the other person draws, no smoke had reached them yet so the lighter stops, smoker had to empty their lungs then try to clear the whole thing in one go. If there were enough people you could get the bowl going and pass it around the circle fast enough to keep it lit
- I've been on the lookout for a convertible travel mug/telescoping bong ever since that movie came out.
  
  That thing was my favorite part of the movie. At least until I saw the rest of it.
  
  I think such a thing is like a lightsaber. Building your own is a rite of passage.

"Is my nebulizer"
- That's a pretty good recovery, worth a try when you're 'on the ropes'
  
  Make sure to throw around the phrase "reasonable accomodation" a bit.

If you seek Amy, I think I'd like that.

Here's Thomas. After managing to get in the same company as his first Girlfriend, still getting caught playing hookey. This time on camera.
CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
- I'm not sure I understand your comment
  
  No problem.
  It's supposed to be a reference to an old novel.

47 comments