I'm not big on this new 'pants' trend.

even if this is true, there are other, much cooler types of clothing than trousers that still cover your arse

Oshkosh by Gosh?
- Turns out Oshkosh and Oshkosh B'gosh make different stuff. My sister is going to be confused at the baby shower I think.
- I had to google this (because I'm not from the US) and I'd be super surprised if their tagline became "cooler than trousers but still covers your arse"

Roman's: Pants are effeminate and stupid.

Roman's what?
- Roman's pants.

Are we talking US or UK pants here?

I don't know. What's the conversion rate?
- Roughly 11” of the British Trouser to 9.5” of the American Pantaloon.
The stone dude is definitely wearing US pants at least.

maybe dry bones preserve better than cloth or leather 🤷

It is implied that the "earliest indication" of pants is the sculpture on the right, which makes it even more silly. It's not even ancient cloth that was preserved to prove the existence of pants, but a stone sculpture that showed a person wearing them.

Rock out with your cock out was the law of the land back then 🤘🏽

I knew this would be here. My faith in humanity is confirmed.

At least one ancient flute was made with approximately the same octave shifts in notes that we use today. The musicality is built into us at a genetic level to appreciate as we do.

An octive is literally twice the frequency of the notes below it, how is that genetic? The only thing that unique in music is that a 3/2 ratio (a perfect fifth) only makes sense in 5, 7, and 12 note scales and even then it's slightly out of tune by a couple of cents so you can either use relative temperment or even temperment depending on preference. Alternatively you can optimize for other ratios and get all microtonal.
I have a theory that desire for music in some animals (including us) began because of our heartbeats. Heartbeats would also be associated with being embraced by someone (head to chest) which could also connect to our fondness of it.

Hmm, this makes me wonder if there's a correlation between musical interest and the presence of a embracing parent at birth.
- Medical science also seems to support an association between music and heartbeats. There are a lot of very popular songs that are the correct BPM for CPR.
  
  Here's one of the longer CPR playlists on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2Odd1DB9wODzWNE0v9vd5E?si=Dlepfu28TnWOUDR-ZAJzTA&pi=MlC4CHQ7QwGju
- I wonder if it's the same rate as speech. Birds and whales seem to be the only other animals to sing and it's commected to speech.
I use the hum of my theremin as a stand-in for the embrace of a lover

Birds still haven't figured out pants. Bunch of naked musicians, those birds.

What do you mean those birds? You're a penguin!

Although I do hear your species can manage bow ties and tighty whities.

What about hats, were there men without hats performing music?

Yes, but they can dance if they want to.
- They can leave their pants behind
...johnny played guitar, jenny played bass, name of the band was the human race...

'Pants'? So what are you supposed to do when you need to drain the stegosaurus? Take them off again?

You use the flute.
- Then the three seashells.

Listening to music without pants is the best way to listen

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divje_Babe_flute - if anyone's curious about the flute

I'm not convinced that this isn't a planted fossil. It is just too much of an outlier in the fossil record.
- Yes, where is the missing link between this flute and the oboe?

Let them dicks swing to the groove of the music

TIL it took 40,000 years for the saying “dance your pants off” to make sense.

Pants off dance off! Just like the girl from Full House!

satyrs

Ahh, so that's when the good old days were

TIL blowjob historical periods

All dance-offs were of the ‘pants off’ varietal.