Accidentally took like 75mg of edibles last night and experienced ego death
I was locked in place and became infinity and was tortured for like 10,000 years as I saw the last moments before singularity, with rippling interference as the singularity grew and reality shrunk in chunks and waves. Everything stretched thin before me as I saw the undoing of all, and then suddenly I was in my bed with my cat, sticky with dried, melted ice cream cuddled into my arm.
I wish edibles weren't so inconsistent. If I walk into a dispensary right now and buy 5 different ones at the same 100mg dose, each of them will be wildly different in a bad way. Two pieces of one hits harder than my vape while I can eat another entirely and feel buzzed.
Dispensary anything is wildly inconsistent, at least in Colorado. I barely buy flower anymore just because the same $80 budget ounce might be shitty mids or fantastic and there's no real way to tell even within the same strain.
Wow. My ego death was much more enjoyable. I woke up like Ebenezer Scrooge after the final Spirit's visit. Had to keep myself from rushing out of my apartment because I was wanting to tell everyone that everything in this moment was perfect.
when I get too high on edibles sometimes I can hallucinate music, like my brain is composing original songs in real time and I can hear it so clearly. really wish I could record it somehow because it's the most insane shit I've ever heard. when it's happening I'm like "holy shit this is a masterpiece" but in reality it would probably be completely unlistenable to anyone else lol
I experience this, too! Often I'll hear classical music out of thin air if I'm really fucking high, and I don't even listen to classical. It's extremely interesting whenever it happens
Ever since a TBI years ago, any time I hear white noise for a while, this starts happening to me too. Sometimes it's conversations that I can't quite understand, as if they're on a loud TV in the other room even though there's just silence aside from the white noise of a fan or air filter or whatever. They're clear enough I can hear the tone and emotion of the conversation, I can clearly recognize if the person "talking" is masculine or feminine sounding, I just can't pick out their words. If I mix in cannabis and my hydroxyzine meds, that's when I get elaborate music, like full on scores. I get classical music like you sometimes, but other genres as well. Sort of like what AlicePraxis was saying, it can sometimes be weird "extreme" music that I've thought was actually pretty awesome. I've tried to write it down even, but I always lose it in the attempt to do that.
If you don't mind me asking, @AlicePraxis@hexbear.net, is your name a Crystal Castles reference? If so, it's kind of funny because often times it's that kind of enhanced 8-bit "chip tune" sound like theirs that I get in my auditory hallucinations.
tolerance is a motherfucker. i used to be able to pop them like candy but ive got back to the point where after years of being sober where i can actually feel them again.
I was called out by some Archons once and they said they would kill me and destroy my soul for my arrogance because I had failed whatever test the drugs were supposed to create. The universe is alive but the intelligence is closer to a snake than a human. It has a cold reptile nature and all the positive things people feel is just the spiritual equivalence of an Anglerfish.
Your soul will be consumed but your consciousness will be kept alive to act as a lure for your loved ones when you die. You'll be fully aware that you're condemning your loved ones to unbearable suffering but you'll be made aware that if they don't fall for the trap, they'll be made to suffer even more for disobedience. In the end, when everyone you know and love has been enslaved, you'll be ground up into the spirit equivalent of ground beef and used to birth new souls.
The best outcome for a soul that can't ascend into the realm of the "gods" is to escape and freeze to death in the cosmic forest. At least your true death is relatively quick and permanent. If you're a god amongst men and wish to go the ascension route, you'll be reborn as the spirtual equivalent of a gnat. There's a snowballs chance in hell that you'll become something at least partly safe in the grand cosmic arena. But if you can, you'd survive and avoid eternal torture.
I mean it could also be a demon fucking with me to scare me but that's what I saw. Once you see dead parents begging their 10 year old to walk into the mouth of unspeakable creatures because the alternative is even worse, you don't sleep much.
I found it too cold and too cruel to be fake. Out of millions of sperm, only one is able to become an organism, the rest die. For those that are born, even emotional and social animals like rats are more or less food for snakes and birds. Creatures that sing to their mates and love their children get consumed en masse by creatures consisting of only a bare drive to consume. People forget all of this because humans are at the top of the food chain.
If life is like this, I guess I don't expect the afterlife to be much better. Except this time, we're at the bottom of the food chain.
nah it made me relive ptsd and near death experiences as an impartial observer while also feeling them... not the good vibe that getting a little buzzed gives you
made me feel like i was living in a simulation lmao. if anything its extremely heightened depersonalization and derealization, the stuff i normally have was childs play
So I get this 100mg horchata that is super tasty but I found out that drinking one only gives me a slight buzz. So I buy this 1000mg tincture and mix it in and drink like half the horchata. Now that is a fun adventure and will trigger hyperfocus if I get the mix right. Now keep in mind that I am neurodivergent as fuck. I can easily take doses of stimulants that keep most people up for days and have it put me to sleep.
i usually take a ten and then for three hours i feel like a watercolor painting that got left in a mud puddle and all i can do is think in slow motion about whether or not i'd have the muscle control to escape if the house caught fire
That's wild. I always thought I experienced ego death when I took like 8 tabs of acid, but it amounted to me just walking in circles with no recollection of my name or really anything about me. I kept remarking how strange it was, but inside I was feeling a sense of satisfaction. Like 'wow, im this guy inside this body. This guy's awesome and I'm glad to be him.'
My friend was tripping with me on the same amount and forgot how to use language - he'd speak words with an intonation but the words would be gibberish names of football players and household objects.
Compared to most people's ego deaths of getting crushed by some cosmic entity, I do wonder if I had ego death at all? Maybe I'm just simple. I have never had a bad trip in my life, in fact, I'm not even sure if I'm capable of one. Even on horrible drugs where I had moments thinking 'oh shit this might kill me' I was just like well, if you die you die, if you live you live. Not a lot you're capable of doing about it now.
And they'd wear off, and I'd be fine.
edit: simple is probably the wrong word, I am just generally very detached from my emotions (not in like an epic logic way but in an anhedonic way)
Got too high and figured I’d just take a break to sober up. Hid in the bathroom for an hour and then looked at my phone and it had only been 5 minutes. What’s the deal with time?