Onion be onioning again
Onion be onioning again
53 comments
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If anything it would make them faster as the floaties would increase the speed the hand goes up
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this guy hand jobs
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"from German". I'm not being elitist, I am not German. But lent words have origins.
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Boebert approves this message
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I read the caption before I took a good look at the picture and I assumed that "floaties" meant something very different.
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Well at least someone here is getting floaties. I'm sitting here either dry or wet as a bone.
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better to bone wet than dry
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Oh, I've got this far down the comments before realising we were maybe talking about arm based flotation devices and not turds.
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Floaters greatly lessen my enjoyment of hot tubs as well.
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Yeah spots everywhere and you don't know if its an bubble on your eye or just the floaties
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If hot tub handjobs really are a thing I've wasted my life
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You want to go the pool route. In the hot tub there's little differentiation temperature wise.
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Look man
Y'all know far too much for this. I'm 34, my ex cheated on me 5 years (or 6 idk, I lost track) and have gotten laid once in that time.
It doesn't help i have ADHD with some weird mental thing preventing me from trying to hook up with anyone for any reason
Wait, no, I think my ex and I did try in a pool once but when they say "pool closed" we assumed that meant cause no staff was around
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They are, so next time take off your floaties.
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Nice try, I'd drown immediately if I did that
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This is my favorite post of the morning. Laughed well and shared with a friend. Thanks, Onion.
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Dammit! These are schwimmflügel, there IS a proper English term. Use It!
Edit: Thanks @dan@upvote.au I realized a left out a diacritic mark.
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schwimmflugel
English
🤔
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Kindergarten, Rucksack, Schadensfreude :)
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Floaties image search: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=floaties&t=ffab&ia=images&iax=images
Nary a schwimmflügel in those results at all. I rest my case.
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my dad always called them floogles and i never knew why!
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Parents can be mysterious, that way.
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Skill issue tbh
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Yeah, just cum on the inside, problem solved.
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Whatever floats your uhh… arms?
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Honey, you have to put some elbow grease into it.
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I love onions
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Safety first though!
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That's when you go for the foot job instead.
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Sounds like a challenge tbh
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It prevents: "This isnt a beach, this is a bathtub" kinds of situations.
53 comments