Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world MacN'Cheezus @lemmy.today 6 mo. ago

In case some of y'all are still looking for a job

50 comments

Oh shit, at long last a job opening I'm fucking qualified for!

I'm chill. Whiskeys more my jam but I'll drink whatever.

Fuckin love industrial.

I'm so down to do crimes in Japan that ive already done quite a few
- In that case, what's a few more then?
  
  gg2ez
- I read #3 in Jeff Gerstmann’s voice.
You son of a bitch, I’m in.
- I wonder what prison food in Japan is like…
  
  cabbage tofu soup, rice, pickles, and kelp fish bone soup.
Okay, but only if I'm guaranteed 12 wacky substories a year and the undying friendship of a strangely business savvy chicken.
- Just DON'T go to the tour office in Hawaii 😳
I like drawings of flowers as well, I understand this is popular among Yakuza, and I have my own supply of JNCOs. That's it, I'm joining the Yakuza.
- Wait are JNCOs a part of it? I could be convinced if they are. They're so stupid looking but I loved mine.
  
  I was on the fence until now. JNCO's, old Tool, and crime? I'm back in my glory days.
Beer, deftones, and TOOL?

Where do I sign?
- Japan
Typical... They didn't list the pay
- The pay is free tattoos for life and a place on Japan’s most wanted list.
  
  Throw in an annual pizza party and $5 Wal Mart gift card for Christmas and I WILL DIE FOR YOU
okay.. early nine inch nails..

lol
Dont they chop off fingers as a sign of dedication iirc
- I heard it was a way to show how sorry you were for fucking something up or dishonouring your family. You'd present your severed pinky to your boss as an appology. Apparently it's not done much anymore. I've played all the Yakuza games so I'm basically an expert.
  
  I recently watched a great documentary about the Yakuza (on Arte) and apparently that ritual is increasingly considered old-fashioned among the Yakuza, or what's left of them.
- how else would you show your dedication?
  
  How do you show you are more dedicated than fingers in case you want a raise?
- I believe it's the first joint of one? Pinky finger.
early Nine Inch Nails

Excuse me? The Yakuza got beef with the middle and late NIN eras? Get fucked! I'll kick your ass for such bullshit! Online! Only..! Online!
What're the benefits and salary of this position?

Do I need to provide my own Samurai sword, or will one be provided by the Clan?
- Just call the phone number provided on the flyer to find out…
  
  Oh
  
  It's one of those things where a guy knows a guy, and they'll contact you in a dark alley outside a Pachinko shop.
Hell yeah. Gimme a job looking at uncensored hentai 😎
There are no contact details :(
- You just gotta find the guy in the picture and apply in person I guess.
Welcome to the Fantasy Zone. Get ready.
What kind of crimes? I'll steal a candy bar or Jay walk with yah. I'm usually pretty busy on days felonies are gonna be committed though. Any other day though I'll help you get that anpanman pero pero candy
Not familiar with Deftones. Any recommendations?
- White pony album, front to back
- Around the Fur album
- I think their most widely known song is 'my own summer'
- koi no yokan? maybee
Bull fucking shit. As if they wouldn't also listen to Boris
I'm good for 1 and 2...
Damn, I'm only one of these things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9OlwoMH_sM
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  https://www.piped.video/watch?v=k9OlwoMH_sM
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

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