I actually think it's those that get so close to the truth, before veering to the right and blaming minorities instead of those who are really to blame (by design of those who are really to blame, of course) - blaming Jews for controlling the banks and the media (it's the obscenely rich), blaming immigrants for poor work conditions/no jobs (it's the obscenely rich), blaming disabled people for being a burden and leeching off the tax payer (it's the obscenely rich), blaming whichever generation is currently in young adulthood for "destroying industries" (it's the obscenely rich), and so on and so on..
I guess they make me angriest because the truth clearly isn't outside of the people who believe the conspiracy's grasp, they'd just rather punch down, solve nothing, but continue to have minor feelings of superiority (which really ties in with the key to all belief in conspiracy theories - "I have special knowledge you don't"), than punch up and actually try to resolve the issues they whine about..
Edit: Archived site
Edit 2: y'all taking the low hanging fruit when y'all know time cube is the most unhinged. If you don't know about how the earth has four simultaneous 24hr days duirng one rotation in sixteen space-times then I don't know what to tell you.
Numerology
They are so unhinged that the doorknob has melted to the floor.
It also seeps into every other batshit conspiracy theory eventually. It's huge in QAnon. If you see a number, pack your bags, it's jover.
1+1 = 2
Do you know what else there were two of? The twin towers. How many planes hit the twin towers? Exactly two. How many times has my wife left me? Only once, but one day I will get the kids back. Fuck you judge McNally
10 digits, infinite bullshit
“Everything will be alright.”
Flat-earthers, and I see it as the most unhinged for one simple reason:
It seemingly has no -- Stakes?
Like
With every other conspiracy, whether it be related to 5G or Fluoride in the Water or Vaccines or whatever, there is someone who is consolidating a shit-ton of power or wealth through their conspiring, y'know?
But with Flat Eartherism.... ? Like. Imagine you got control of every educational institution. You use it to convince people the planet is the wrong shape. And by doing that you gain.... -- What exactly? It just seems pointless? We know what people do when they have power to manipulate people on that level, because history tells us. And they generally don't bother with the shape of the planet.
Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966 and was replaced by a Canadian man the British government had kidnapped for that purpose. After extensive facial surgery he took on McCartney's role and no one noticed it.
Apart from John Lennon who hid cryptic clues to Faul's real identity and the real Paul's fate in the lyrics of famous Beatles songs.
It's true.
That I've actually encountered irl? The Anti 1080 conspiracy in New Zealand.
Its members do things like go out and kill protected birds themselves and dump them because they think the Department of Conservation's pest control plan is on behalf of the Illuminati who want to terraform NZ etc.
Sorts by controversial
My conspiracy theory is that every conspiracy theory boils down to hating Jews, and/or another race of people.
Once you get into the specifics of any conspiracy that doesn't have a plausible motive (the difference between Illuminati doing everything and Cambridge Analitica), you just find a surface level "top 10 reasons I hate people" reasoning.Flat Earth.
It’s not the most immediately shocking, not the most colorful and dramatic, but there are two factors where no other conspiracy theory can compete:
- It is so easily falsifiable that basically more people would have to be in on the conspiracy than not.
- Nobody would stand to gain anything from the lie.
One of my favourite historical ones was the John birch society saying Lyndon B. Johnson was a communist agent, who started the Vietnam war to help communists take over the USA.
My pet conspiracy theory that California does not exist. It was invented by democrats to pad their electoral votes. Any one who has traveled there actually went to a staged area in Oregon. Anyone who claims to live there is either brainwashed or in on it. Maps, globes, etc. have all been altered. Satellites have special software that adds California to its images. Spacecraft windows are actually screens that digitally alter earth to add California.
Once you consider that California is allegedly the location of Hollywood and movies often create convincing, fake worlds, it makes sense. Hollywood was created to take advantage of the tech developed to fake California and continue funding the conspiracy...
Microsoft, the state of South Dakota, and the Freemasons have been infiltrated by the Unified Buttjones Imperial Court (UBIC), formed in 1834 by the merger of the Imperial Buttjones Society and the All-Ireland Industrial Arsing Federation. UBIC agents camouflage themselves as janitors, assistant product managers, or beagles, and spread an invisible green slime over toilet seats to infect the minds of their targets. Through this mental infiltration, they obtain control over the vazween or pony-flavored sector of the human soul, creating Inter-Vazween Buttjones Networks (IVBN) through repeated application of the Greater Invoking Pentacle of Pony Erotic Revelation (GIPPER). Using an apparatus constructed from illegal immigrants, UBIC uses the IVBN and GIPPER to insert bugs into Windows, Masonic initiations, and the Lewis & Clark State Recreation Area. Anyone who denies this obvious truth is a buttjones.
That Stalin was the "good guy".
Lizard people wins the price, hands down.
Qantas used to have a 'u' in it, but they changed their name so now you don't even know!
That's like asking who the craziest person is. Like, there's so many to choose from, and they get less and less well known as you go nuttier and nuttier.
Time Cube.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_Cube
Pretty grim, but also pretty amazing if you smoke drugs about it.
"Israel is the most moral army in the world".
Much like flat earth, Zionists have crafted an entirely alternate reality to justify their Nazi-like worldview by making up new lies daily to justify their previous lies being debunked.
The amount of mental gymnastics Zionists perform to pretend israel is following international law is absolutely breathtaking. For every debunk of their lies they come up with a new lie until the lie is so advanced that you need to sit through a 6 hour debate with Norman Finkelstein until they admit that "they actually don't care about international law anyways and it's antisemitic".
Oh, not 1080p haha.
Stalin single-handedly starved 8 million+ Ukrainians, Russians, and Kazakhs in the 1930s to stop some nationalists.
