Do you avoid discussing some topics online even if you have something you'd like to say about them?
Do you avoid discussing some topics online even if you have something you'd like to say about them?
I've been doing this for some time now. Even if it's something that I consider important.
I just don't see the value in participating in a discussion that I have seen countless times already where the same points and arguments happen over and over again. One that I know wilI turn ugly. It's exhausting and I've decided to just opt-out.
In the middle of my third paragraph I deleted most of this comment and reminded myself, my perspective is not needed.
I've long stopped engaging in long political debates. Namely because every time, someone is debating you for the sole purpose of winning the argument. There isn't a lot of lee way made to admit fault or see the flaws of any arguments including their own. It just turns into a pointless debate that has no end.
Religion is the same.
It is hard sometimes to talk about the flaws about LGBTQ communities without being branded. There are flaws that I've seen with it and I know they're there and continue to be there. But nobody wants to admit it and hear it, so they just go straight to labeling.
All that anyone ever wants to hear anymore is just a validated response that confirms their opinion. Because people long forgot that opinions are opinions and not any scientific source.
Yes. Especially Lemmy. People here love turning a discussion into an argument on shit they don't know much about. Subsequently some of the most brazen and obvious strawmanning, wild out of field assumptions, and gaslighting I've seen online—usually with a lot of not reading full comments or disregarding context or 90% of the comment in general. You can constantly call them out on it and try to direct discourse back onto topic instead, but it's almost always futile. For them, it was only ever a competition of feeling superiority of some kind.
I've never seen anything quite like it online. Reddit was mild in comparison.
my new year’s resolution this year was stop wasting time replying to dumbasses online
it’s not going very well but it’s the thought that counts. we’ll get em next year
Yep, I have written huge comments on my phone, only to hit cancel when I realize that I don't have the energy to deal with it.
In my industry, people can get very toxic really quickly over minor details. I've decided quite a few times to just let things go, even if they are blatantly wrong.
You end up in a situation where the person on the other end really just does not want to drop it, has to "win" no matter what. Even if the subject in itself was something you went to school learning/writing a paper on.
What you’re doing isn’t a bad thing. I went through something similar.
Your mental health is more important than any online discussion could ever be. If that means less food for the trolls and sealions, so be it.
I’m a massive Doctor Who fan and discourse surrounding it has been ‘difficult’ for the last few years. As the quality of the show has varied, some fans have denounced more recent series, and others have become angry that they don’t enjoy the same things as they do. At the end of the day we’re all fans of Doctor Who, we just can’t agree what Doctor Who is, but I think we should accept that and all let each other enjoy the Doctor Who we want to.
Absolutely. Spend enough time on the internet and you'll learn to conserve your energy
Yes.
Absolutely. Not even just online, but IRL too.
I'm a software engineer that works on tech that's extremely contentious in public discourse. Most people have pretty negative assumptions about myself and my work to the point that I hate talking about it. Even most people in my industry can be a bit insufferable. So I'd rather just keep my mouth shut and keep doing my own thing.
Yeah. I figure there's little to no point trying to engage with people online anout topics I feel strongly about. And I mean anything. Like I quit trying to convince people Mike V is actually a worthless skateboarder and king of the kooks, all the way down to the Sex Pistols are a boy band. Not to mention actually important topics like healthcare and reproductive rights. Though, I've quit doing it irl too. I think if anyone I talk to can be convinced to change their mind after talking to me, they're just going to change their mind next time someone else tries. I find it's better to just be the person I want more people to be and live by example. It's the same thing I tell my kids- strive to be the person you want as a friend.
But I also tell my kids no one is allowed to play guns and roses in my house, so come to your own conclusions.
I made this same decision for myself explicitly just a few days ago. It's just bad for my mental health to constantly be arguing with people online, especially with how easily online discussions turn sour in tone. It's so incredibly rare to have an actual fulfilling discussion where both sides are open to having their minds changed, and thus there's really no point to it.
IDF and Hamas in the context of warfare.
I just have an interest in modern conflicts, but there's usually a humanitarian crisis that I don't want to overshadow and or discredit.
Most people here (afaik) aren't part of combat communities so there's no point talking about strategy or objectives unless it has an impact on the broader issue.
Yes, I do. Sometimes I disagree with something but I know my opinion will not be appreciated and I will be called names for just a different opinion. Often, it's not that I out those opinions in public but I just think them to myself but let other people be as they are. But that nuance will not come across online.
Some topics are way too depressing for me to talk about.
Gender-related stuff is usually good to stay away from if you have anything even slightly critical to say about women and don’t phrase it correctly (such that women can’t be blamed for it). Saying positive/negative stuff is fine for men, bonus points if you bring up how nobody cares about them. Go ahead and downvote me, prove me right.
I tend to avoid certain taboo topics because I assume some day all my social media posts will be linked back to me and I don't have faith in people being capable of understanding all the nuance in what I'm saying and it'll just make it seem like I'm saying something I'm not.
I also don't discuss drugs because they're illegal and I don't do drugs and neither should you and even if you do you're better off shutting the fuck up about it.
Yes and I’ve largely opted out of the same conversations irl too, for my own mental health I have to check out of certain conversations
Information is competition if it can change the world. Information is informative if it is widely known and simply repeated. Choose what innovative thoughts you share carefully. They spread timelessly to open minds once they’re out.
The block button works for me
Yes, sometimes. Though I try to remember that one of the reasons for that phenomenon is just that new people are entering the environment every day, something that will never end. It's easy to think it's always the same people arguing, but it's not. There's just a lot of different people in the world.
When I think it's possible to try to improve the discourse over what we've seen in the past, I'll sometimes make an attempt. When I have the time and energy for it anyway, I don't always.
Yes. But more importantly, I find myself (in hindsight of course) participating in conversations I probably should not be participating in to begin with.
I have a bad habit of leaping without always looking. If you look at my comment history, I’m sure it’ll stick out like a sore thumb. But that is my proverbial cross to bear, and it’s something I feel like I’m getting better at.
But, that aside, there are plenty of things I’d love to discuss with people that I know would not be received well, or like you said, have been discussed to death.
Great question!
i usually do. it also helps to check first if the sub is light-hearted and sharing is very welcome.
there's a chance the sub is already at a devolving to name slinging and memes and that requires a different touch.
All the time.
Yes because there are certain areas where paid actors, including bots, overwhelm any organic discussion. I have discussions about stuff like that in private chats with people I actually know.
I was typing something, was going to just delete. So yeah
People are only ready to receive so much Truth.
And
evenespecially then, likely with anger.... and ofc that includes ourselves as well btw.
It's not all that different from irl conversations then, except you cannot look in each others' eyes to gauge sincerity. So ask yourself: why have irl conversations at all - especially when you know they will turn ugly? We cannot really help you further b/c you have hidden behind an alt account here, though I hope this gives you some stuff to think about.
Yeah, and the worst is when people are talking about something I know a lot about, getting virtually every detail wrong, and I have to resist saying anything because I know my input will either be ignored, or worse, straight up unwelcome.
Luckily the blessing of being dumb as bricks is that that doesn't happen a lot, but I sure hate when it does.Several I never comment on or engage with, several I comment on and very few topics I engage with.
Maybe try a more formal debate setting? I know there are some places like "the crucible" that facilitate that.
I doubt you will find anything on Lemmy unless you start up a highly moderated community. Even then, people can bring questions against the moderators.
Discussion and debate are pretty lawless in nature.
Yes there are topics I avoid.
I also weigh in on them, but not as often as I feel the urge.
My plan is to comment less, with higher quality.
Absolutely and specially in this place. But most topics are ok.
Just pretend that we all vaccinate when we are told and you will be fine. :)
I don't mind discussing politics or religion, even though I don't repeat myself in the same discussion and don't engage with trolls. However, I absolutely never discuss my family, my personal matters and my racist views.
Yeah. On my personal pages I either unfollowed or deleted so many people so I don't have to deal with it. On places like lemmy it's not worth the energy.
Sometimes I can't help myself though. I was taught to stand up for myself and for other people as well so it's hard for me to sit back on certain conversations. Somehow this week I actually changed someone's mind (Not on lemmy). It's confusing when that happens lol
I certainly do. Every internet community is a bubble and I do not appreciate getting into fights with a brigade of people who hate me just for having an opinion that does not align with their dogma.
No
Permanently Deleted
Yeah, there are a few things I can't discuss. I was trying to discuss antisemitism with a group of Jewish people and that was clearly a discussion where there was no point even conversing. Merely asking for information was too much. It's a shame because I've learned a lot from various groups who have expanded my world view by sharing their understanding with me. But ultimately I think any area of discussion can end up being painful and pointless if the people you're conversing with have immovable beliefs - climate change, identity politics, socialism /capitalism are all possible tar-pits
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